Ada fired three shots at Natasha, which bounced harmlessly against the Adamantium shield. Black Widow charged in with the shield and knocked the gun out of Ada’s hands. The Asian deftly evaded each swing of Natasha’s weapons, remembering how dangerous both of them were. Ada thrusted her knife, only for it to clash against the circular shield. Each attempt to use her knife was met with the same result.
Widow kicked Ada down onto the snow. While she was down, Ada shifted to avoid a blow from Widow’s baton. Natasha fell off-balance, which allowed Ada to wrap her legs around the Avenger’s neck.
Natasha choked loudly as she tried to pry off the Asian’s surprisingly strong thighs. Ada shifted her legs to the right and sent Natasha down onto the ground with her. The Russian lost her baton, but she still had her shield. The enemy spy stood up and captured the electric weapon. Natasha also rose to her feet and narrowly blocked a downward attack from the stun baton.
The two spies fought fiercely like gladiators. Ada tried to land her baton or knife into Natasha, but was stopped by the the latter’s shield every time. After the final attack, Natasha exploited an opening and bashed the shield into Ada’s jaw. Landing a solid hit at last, Black Widow pressed her luck and retrieved her stolen baton.
Meanwhile, Ada tumbled back onto the snow. Her blood was spilling out of the wound from her mouth. The assassin sneered in frustration; now she was back at square one. That cartoonish shield was becoming a huge problem for Ada. She needed to get it rid of it pronto.
Suddenly, something clicked in Ada’s mind. She retrieved her hookshot from her belt and fired it at Natasha. The Russian raised her weapon, but was shocked when she noticed that the hook and cable wrapped itself around her arm.
Ada smirked. “Gotcha.” She pulled the trigger on her grapple gun, which reeled back the hook like a fishing rod. Natasha cried out as her shield-holding arm was yanked forward. She tried to resist the pull by planting her feet into the snow, but that only made the force much tighter and more painful.
Seconds wore on, and Black Widow’s arm was losing its grip on the shield by the straps, until the weapon flew off completely. The shield dragged towards Ada across the snow. The Asian threw the weapon away and holstered her grappling hook. She then rushed forward and kicked Natasha in the face while she was still grounded.
The Russian fell over backwards; Ada stood over her, knife at the ready. The Asian plunged down to stab Natasha through the heart, but the Russian smacked it away from her with her stun baton. The Avenger then elbowed Ada in the face and kicked her away from her.
Both women got back up to their feet, Natasha with her Widow’s Bite, and Ada with her knife. This long, brutal fight was bringing both women to their breaking points. They were each covered in bleeding wounds or bruises, and had exerted themselves to the point of near-exhaustion. Even so, neither woman was willing to quit after coming so far into the fight. They each stood firmly in the snow, raised their respective weapons and gave each other a daring look in the eye.
“Last chance to get the Hell outta my way.”
“Last chance for you to surrender.”
Ada flipped forward and sent a flying side kick at Natasha’s face. The Avenger simply sidestepped away to avoid the kick. Ada landed behind and thrusted her blade towards Natasha’s throat, only for the latter to sweep it away with her baton. The Russian countered with a few wide swings of her weapon, all narrowly dodged by Ada.
The Asian spotted an opening and lunged forward, cutting a small, bloody mark on Natasha’s cheek. Black Widow fell back and grabbed her face, but stayed focused on the fight. The fight dragged on as each spy attacked and dodged, dodged and attacked. Ada’s knife clashed with Natasha’s baton with every second. They each managed to land more and more hits on each other, but none proved to be fatal just yet.
A battle-scarred Ada intercepted a backfist from Black Widow and performed a takedown that put her right back down into the snow. She kicked Black Widow’s weapon from her hand and dropped down to pierce her throat. Natasha caught the knife right before it would kill her, but she was tired and wounded.
Her baton was within reach, but she couldn’t grab it without taking her hands off Ada’s blade. The weapon got closer inch by inch, and Natasha’s death seemed imminent. She had to do something fast, or else it was all over.
……Too late. With one last push, Ada plunged the knife into Natasha’s throat. The blade entered her windpipe with a sickening squelching sound, as blood spewed out of the wound. It went through the back of Widow’s neck, making another wound behind. Ada smiled with deep satisfaction. She pulled her knife out of Natasha’s throat and wiped it’s bloodstained blade against the snow. Natasha Romanoff would die in a few short, agonizing minutes.
Ada had finally gotten rid of the annoying pest. Her helicopter was due to arrive any minute.
It was just a matter of time now, before Ada Wong’s mission would be complete.
MISSION FAILED…
Epilogue
Ada stared off into the night sky, waiting patiently for her chopper to arrive. She briefly looked down at her clothes, disgusted by the bloodstains she’d got from finishing off Black Widow.
“I know you’re dying a slow, gruesome death and all, but could you please not bleed all over my dress? Or is courtesy a foreign concept to you Russians?” She said to the dying Natasha with a cold, arrogant tone.
The Avenger drew her yellowing eyes at her murderer with hate and fury. That coldhearted bitch! She just assassinated the President of Russia, outsmarted SHIELD and the Russian military, and now just stabbed one of SHIELD’s operatives in the throat! Her crimes will have disastrous consequences for the world, and all Ada’s concerned about right now is getting bloodstains on her dress!? If Natasha’s hands weren’t at her throat, she’d use them to strangle Ada.
The enemy spy noticed a small light in the distance. It was approaching quickly, with the noise of spinning metal blades accompanying it. The object grew bigger and louder as it flew towards Ada’s location. Finally. Her helicopter was arriving. Smirking with sadistic pride, Ada knelt down beside her fallen foe and decided to give her some parting words.
“Well, now. I must admit, I am impressed. You’ve managed to keep me entertained for much longer than I expected. Really, I applaud you for lasting it out for this long. But in the end, it was all for nothing. Sorry, but this just shows how much better I am than you.”
“Chertovski suka!” Natasha choked her angry words at Ada. Of course, in the state that Widow’s in, Ada wouldn’t have understood her even if they were in English.
Ada’s helicopter was nearing the Kremlin. The assassin looked down at Natasha once more. As an act of mercy (or perhaps spite), she decided now to give Natasha what she wants.
“You know what? I believe now is a good time to tell you why I killed your so-called ‘President.'” Ada began.
“You see, it was my employers that put him in power in the first place. They rigged the election, preventing any of his more honest competitors from winning. And in return, he would grant them special access to your country’s military and nuclear secrets. So all along, you were sent here to protect a traitor.”
Natasha was horrified, but there was little she could do to express it.
“Now that my mission’s complete, I’ll be long gone from this country, and my employers will expunge my records and pay me more money that I can spend in a lifetime!”
Ada’s helicopter hovered over her current position. It was painted pitch black with no identifying marks anywhere. The side door was opened, and one of the pilots called out to Ada. The assassin readied her hookshot, but paused to say her last few words at Natasha.
“In the end, you’re nothing but a failure.” Ada said venomously. “You failed to protect the President. You failed to kill me. And you failed to survive. Let those be your last thoughts before you die.”
The Asian fired her grappling hook at the helicopter and whisked herself away.
“Das vidanya, ‘comrade!’” She shouted a mocking farewell at Natasha.
Before the chopper left, Natasha used the last of her strength to aim her wrist bracelet at it.
“No…..I haven’t failed!”
She fired a tracking beacon that attached to the chopper’s underside. The small device would allow SHIELD to follow Ada’s trail wherever she went. Natasha smirked one last time as she watched the chopper fly away.
A few seconds later, Natasha’s allies Steve and Bucky crashed through the rooftop exit. They were devastated to see the state their friend was in. Natasha was lying in a pool of her own frozen blood, with a knife wound in her throat.
“No! Natasha! Hang in there, you’re gonna be okay!” Steve knelt down to the woman and searched for a First Aid kit.
“Buck! Call an ambulance, now!” He ordered the Winter Soldier. But they both knew it was too late.
“Steve……I’m–I’m sorry. Wong escaped. I couldn’t–“
“Don’t talk! We need to get you to a hospital, ASAP!”
Natasha grabbed the Captain’s shirt with her last ounce of strength. She told him her final words: “Steve Rogers! Find that bitch!…..Find her!” As her final breath passed, Natasha’s arm went limp. Her eyes were frozen open, but with no life left in them.
“Nat!? NAT!? Goddammit, don’t you quit on me! NAT!!!”
Bucky put his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “She’s gone, Steve. There’s nothing we can do for her. I’m sorry.”
The Captain tried to fight back his tears, but he couldn’t. All in one night, he failed his mission to protect the President, and he failed to save one of his best agents and closest friends. Eventually, Steve and Bucky noticed their smartphones were vibrating. They checked, and realized that Natasha had placed a tracker on Ada’s chopper.
Their mission wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.
“You’ve done your duty, Nat.” Steve said solemnly. “You didn’t die for nothing, I promise you. We’ll find Wong. We’ll hunt that bitch down to the ends of the earth. And we will kill her.”
Ada shut the door to her helicopter. She was glad to be in a heated environment again after spending so much time in the cold. She took a seat on one of the black leather chairs that surrounded a table.
In front of the woman were two sinister figures at right behind the pilot. They stood with their backs turned, facing the sky in front of them.
The first was a tall, blonde man of strong build who wore a pair of blinding sunglasses. The second was a slightly shorter but no less imposing man with a red, skull-like face.
They were Ada’s employers. The ones who sent her on this job.
“I told you my agent is a very capable woman, Mr. Schmidt.” Said Albert Wesker, the CEO of Neo Umbrella and its sister company Tricell.
“Yes. Miss Wong performed her mission splendidly, Herr Wesker.” Replied Johann Schmidt, the leader of the defunct terrorist organization HYDRA. A former Nazi officer, Schmidt was infamously known by both his followers and his enemies as the “Red Skull.”
“Despite her being ‘delayed’ by the trio of SHIELD agents.”
“Sorry about that.” Ada replied. “I didn’t expect that Russian bimbo to be so damn tenacious.”
“You needn’t worry about her. Now that Agent Romanoff is dead, she no longer poses a threat to our alliance.” Wesker said in a cold, inhuman voice.
Wesker and Schmidt each took seats opposite of Ada’s.
“So, I trust the success of this mission will be beneficial to us both?” The Umbrella CEO asked.
“Yes, Mr. Wesker. The President’s death will heavily benefit our new alliance.” Red Skull replied. “The traitorous fool thought he could expose us to the Americans. Now he has paid for his cowardice.”
Red Skull stood from his seat and faced the helicopter window behind him. A sinister smile crept along his face “With the President’s death, SHIELD and the Avengers will be disgraced and hated worldwide for their failure. American and Russian relations will degrade rapidly, leading to riots, threats of attack, and ultimately…..World War Three.”
Wesker smirked with delight. “And as the war escalates, Neo Umbrella will reap enormous profits by selling our Bio-Organic Weapons to all sides. Some of our profits will be diverted to HYDRA, of course.”
Red Skull was grateful he chose someone like Wesker as a partner. “With the generous funding from Neo Umbrella, HYDRA will rise from the ashes with a stronger arsenal, and an unstoppable army with millions of devoted soldiers! As the world tears itself apart with the war, we will emerge as the only true victors with the power to reshape the world in our image! HYDRA’s reign will be eternal!”
Schmidt and Wesker were passionate about their evil plans, but Ada couldn’t care less. “Men and their egos. It never changes.” She thought. “World domination–the same stupid, childish little dream. All I care about is my reward.”
“I admire your enthusiasm, but aren’t we forgetting something?” Ada asked the two egomaniacs. “When can I expect my paycheck?”
“Rest assured, Ms. Wong. You will be compensated for your efforts. For now, just enjoy the helicopter ride as we leave Russia.”
Wesker pressed a button on the table, and three wine glasses filled with champagne appeared. Each passenger took one to prepare a toast.
Holding his glass, Red Skull stood above them and roared proudly:
“THIS IS THE FIRST DAY OF OUR RETURN!!!”
“CUT OFF ONE HEAD, TWO MORE SHALL TAKE ITS PLACE!!!
“HAIL HYDRA!!!”
AND THIS MELEE’S WINNER IS….ADA WONG!!! (Player 2 Wins!!!) P1: 0 Win P2: 1 Win
TROPHY UNLOCKED! “The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same.” Win a match as Ada Wong
Biohazardous Win a match as any Resident Evil character
Capcom Legends Defeat a Marvel character as a Capcom character
THE ULTIMATE MATCH WHERE FIGHTERS ARE GIVEN COMPLETE FREEDOM!
NO RULES!
NO RESEARCH!
NO TIME LIMIT!
NO MERCY!
ARE YOU READY? LET’S GO!
DBX!!!
OPENING MOVIE:
2115 Hours Moscow, Russia Red Square Friday, December 15
It was a cold, snowy night in Moscow. This particular night was an important and historic one. The newly elected president was preparing to give his inaugural speech at the country’s seat of government, the Kremlin. The Red Square was abuzz with citizens and journalists who were excited to hear their new leader’s address.
Among average spectators were squads of armed Russian soldiers who guarded the new President from potential rioters or assassins. Far above, the surrounding rooftops were patrolled by a team of snipers. Like vultures, the snipers watched the commotion below them, ready to kill anybody suspicious members of the crowd.
One of the snipers was a woman in her late twenty’s who was as icy and fierce as the Russian winter. She wore a set of thick, white camouflage that blended perfectly with the snow. Her SVD Dragunov rifle was painted with the same white camo. Her long crimson hair was tied in a ponytail and hidden beneath her hood. Her mouth was covered by a protective covering attached to her jacket. Only the woman’s piercing green eyes were exposed. The woman looked down her scope, carefully searching the crowd for any troublemakers.
Since she was a child, the woman has been called many names: Assassin. Spy. Terrorist. Traitor. Hero. Defender. Savior. Avenger. Natasha Romanoff. But the name that she remembered the most was “Black Widow.”
Black Widow received a transmission from one of the other snipers: <“Volk Six, the President is moving towards the stage. I repeat: the President is moving to the stage.”
<“Copy that. Monitoring the stage.”> She replied.
Natasha pointed her rifle at the President’s large podium just in front of the entrance. Behind him were two of Widow’s fellow agents. On the left was Steve Rogers, AKA “Captain America”, and on the right was James Buchanan Barnes, AKA the “Winter Soldier.”
Both agents stood behind the President, arms behind their backs and their faces firm and stoic. Yesterday, SHIELD Director Nick Fury assigned the three agents to Moscow after the Russian election. Their mission was simple: protect the President from all threats until his inauguration was over. Apparently, the mission was designed to be an act of solidarity between the United States and Russia.
“Yeah, good luck with that.” Thought Natasha. She knew that US-Russian relations wouldn’t be mended so easily, especially in today’s political climate.
So far, nothing was wrong. The President was smiling and preparing his speech; the two Avengers and the Russian soldiers stood on guard; the enormous crowd showered their new leader with praise. Some even thought that this high level of security was unnecessary. After all, who would be audacious and stupid enough to murder the Russian President? Especially with the worldwide shit-storm that would cause? Only a madman or a fool would commit something like that.
But Natasha wasn’t so naive. Her whole life was stained with the blood of politicians she’d murdered. If there’s one thing she learned, it’s that any security–no matter how tight–can be breached. All it takes is a smart agent with a disguise, a gun, and some very impressive tech to slip through the cracks. And when that happens, it only takes one well-placed bullet to send a nation into chaos.
Ironically, since she’d joined SHIELD, Black Widow was put on more missions where she protected politicians instead of killing them. Either way, she stayed prepared for any potential emergency. Suddenly, Natasha noticed Bucky turning his eyes up to the right and gave a look of suspicion.
“Black Widow. Rooftop on your right. Two snipers are missing and the third one’s acting strange. Check it out, over.” He whispered to Natasha via a small radio hooked to his ear.
“Copy that. Checking the building.”
She shifted her view towards the building on the right. Bucky was right; two of the snipers were laying on the ground, and the third one wasn’t aiming at the crowd like the others.
<“Volk Three, two of your men are down. What’s your status, over?”>
No response.
<“Volk Three? Do you copy?”>
By the time Natasha realized what was happening, she was too late.
BANG!!!
The President was shot! He grabbed his bleeding chest and fell facedown to the floor. Cap and Bucky rushed to his aid, but it was clear that the President’s death was inevitable.
The crowd’s mood immediately turned from excitement to terror. They ran around the square in panic, and some even tried to get past the guards towards the dying President. The guards did their best to pacify the crowd, but they were overwhelmed.
Black Widow watched the tragedy below her in horror. She was no stranger to political assassinations, but she never realized the kind of sorrow and fear that witnesses go through.
She then looked back at Volk 3’s position. He was already gone.
“Der’mo! How could I be so stupid!?” Natasha cursed herself before her earpiece received a transmission from Steve.
“Black Widow, do you copy!? This is Captain America! The President’s–“
“I’m not fucking blind, Steve! I saw what happened! What’s the President’s condition?”
“The bullet went straight through his vest–they must’ve used an armor-piercing round! Massive hemorrhaging around his heart–he’s going into shock!”
“Fuck!” Natasha shouted. “Listen, the assassin was one of our snipers Volk 3! You and Barnes call an ambulance and get the President out of here! I’ll get after Volk 3!”
“Copy that!” Replied Steve. “We’ll send you some backup!”
“Negative! There’s no time! Tell security to block all exits and stop anybody wearing a sniper’s uniform! Udachi, tovarishch!“
Natasha dropped her rifle and took off her white uniform. Now clad in her black SHIELD jumpsuit, she gracefully leaped off her building and use a wrist-mounted grappling hook to swing herself onto Volk 3’s building. As she climbed onto the roof, Black Widow noticed Volks 4 and 5 were lying dead on the ground, frozen puddles of blood staining the snow.
“Chyort!” Natasha swore in her mind. “I should’ve killed Volk 3 when I had the chance!”
She noticed a sniper’s uniform without a wearer and a rifle laying in the snow. The assassin must’ve discarded them, knowing that the Russian police would look for a sniper as their prime suspect. Natasha then spotted a trail of footprints dug into the snow that led to the rooftop exit. The killer was on the run.
“If that’s the case, Volk 3 is either a traitor or an impostor.” Natasha thought. Only question is, which is it?”
Natasha quickly raced down the exit and went hot on the the assassin’s trail.
Meanwhile, Inside a Kremlin meeting room
Ada Wong stood inside an empty meeting room and looked through the window. She calmly watched in deep satisfaction, not caring about the terror she caused in the Red Square. For her, this was just a job well done. She managed to break into the Russian government’s executive building, steal a uniform from an elite sniper, and assassinate the President–all without being detected.
Her cellphone vibrated in her pocket without ringing. No doubt it was a call from her employer. She picked up her phone and answered it.
“We’re watching it on the news, Ms. Wong. The Red Square’s been thrown into complete disarray. The Avengers and Russian guards are struggling to maintain order.” Spoke a quiet, almost sinister British voice on the other line. “What is the President’s condition? Did you make sure his wound is fatal?”
“Affirmative.” Ada replied. “Bullet went straight through his heart. By now he would’ve gone into shock and cardiac arrest. He’ll be dead before he gets to the hospital.”
“Excellent work, Agent Wong. You performed your mission flawlessly. We’ll provide an evac helicopter for you. It should arrive in approximately 10 minutes. Get out of the Kremlin immediately. Eliminate any guards or SHIELD agents that get in your way, but do so discreetly.”
“Copy that. Ada out.” Ada hung up her smartphone and walked towards the door. She put her ear next to the door, and hear the thumping footsteps of panicked soldiers. With the Red Square the way it was, it would only make sense that security would scrutinize as many civilians as they could to find the assassin. Ada couldn’t risk blowing her cover. She stood patiently by the door, waiting for her chance. A few minutes passed, and the sound of heavy footsteps died down.
“The coast is clear.” Thought Ada. “Time to get out of here.”
But no sooner than when she stepped out of the door had she heard another woman’s voice call out to her in Russian: “Ey! Ty tam! Chto ty zdes’ delayesh’ !?”
Ada groaned. “Shit! Right now, when I’m so close to finishing this mission!?” Thanks to a twist of bad luck, Ada was now at risk of getting caught. She had to get this meddling bitch off her as soon as possible. She welled up some crocodile tears and put on the most frightened look she could muster.
“Oh, my God! What’s the hell’s going on!?” Ada shrieked. “The alarm’s gone off–everyone’s running around!”
Natasha holstered her gun and walked slowly at the Asian. “Okay. Just relax, ma’am. We’re all scared here.” She said in a calming voice. She gently grabbed Ada’s wrist and asked her, “You don’t look like you work with us. Please, tell me your name and what you’re doing here.”
Ada sucked in her fake tears and answered, “My–my name is Maria Takenaka. I’m a journalist from New York. I’ve been sent here to conduct a private interview with the President. And then all this crazy shit happens!”
“Ms. Takenaka…” Natasha replied, “There’s no good way to say this. But the President’s been shot.”
Ada feigned a look of shock. “What!? He’s been shot!? You can’t be serious!”
“I’m afraid so. We believe the culprit is one of our own snipers. Now, just calm down and think–did you see any suspicious-looking people in the building?”
“Maria” nodded. “Yes. Yeah, I think I saw someone in a white uniform running down the hall behind me. He went down the elevator on the ri–“
*KER-CHIK!*
Ada was interrupted by the click of Natasha’s gun. The Russian pointed her Glock 26 right at the Asian’s face. The “journalist” walked back nervously, hands raised.
“Wh–what are you doing?” She asked.
“I never said what he was wearing.” Black Widow answered. “How do you know his uniform was white?”
“Because he was wearing it!” The Asian shouted. “I mean, shouldn’t that be obvious!?”
“That’s funny. Because I saw his uniform just a few minutes ago. It was left behind on the rooftop right after the assassination. So, how did you know what color it was if he wasn’t wearing it?”
Ada’s flimsy lie completely fell apart. She realized there was no point in digging her hole deeper. Ada chucked softly and dropped her scared act. “Fine. You got me. Still, can’t blame a girl for trying.”
After a few seconds, the red-haired assassin was able to recognize Ada.
“So…..Ada Wong. I read your dossier. Professional spy for all sorts of criminal organizations, including one of Umbrella’s biggest competitors. You’re everyone’s favorite whore. “
“Congratulations, you’ve done your homework.” Ada mocked. “But I have nothing to do with the President being shot.”
“Don’t. Lie. To. Me.” Natasha growled through her teeth. “What happened to our sniper, Oleg Alexandrov? Is he working with you?”
Ada didn’t speak.
“What did you do to Volk 3!?”
“Fine. I’ll answer in a way you Russkies understand: your comrade gave his heart for Mother Russia–right until I made it stop beating.”
“Bitch!” Black Widow swung her gun at Ada’s head, but the latter spy caught and twisted her arm, forcing her to drop the gun. Natasha kicked Ada in the gut and rolled forward, pointing her Widow’s Bite bracelets at Ada while the latter picked up her lost pistol.
The two women were now locked in a standoff, each one with a weapon on her hand and a finger on the trigger.
“By the way…” Ada said. “It wasn’t my old employers who put me up to this.”
“Well whoever did…” Replied Natasha, “They’re going to regret ever hiring you. Like them, you’re a fool to think you can waltz in here, shoot our President, and walk away like you just left the mall.”
“You mean the President you failed to protect?” Ada said mockingly.
“I may have failed to protect him, but I won’t fail to avenge him.”
“Mission Start!”
Natasha fired a small taser disc from her bracelet at Ada’s hand. The Asian-American spy yelped as the electric discharged forced her to drop the Glock. Black Widow ran forward to retrieve her gun, but Ada kicked it away before landing a punch in the Russian’s face. The redhaired assassin and countered with a nasty headbutt.
Ada reeled back and grabbed her head. Natasha raised her leg high to send down an axe kick, which Ada safely rolled away from. The enemy spy delivered a swift sweep kick that knocked Black Widow off her feet onto the carpeted floor. Ada managed to grab the pistol, but a well-placed kick from Widow caused her to shoot out a ceiling light instead of the intended target.
Black Widow stood back up and rushed towards Ada, who tried to slam the butt of her gun into the former’s face. Natasha dodged the attack and got behind Ada, twisting her arm in an attempt to disarm her. The Asian struggled violently to get the Russian off of her. She tried stepping her heel into Widow’s foot and headbutting her nose. When those failed, Ada threw Natasha back-first into a wall multiple times until she finally let go.
Free once again, Ada grabbed a fire extinguisher from the wall and attempted to smash it into Natasha’s skull, but the Russian dodged away just in time. Natasha threw a an upwards palm heel into Ada’s chin and followed with a spinning back kick at her stomach. The Asian rolled backwards onto her feet, gun and extinguisher in hand.
Meanwhile, a tall Russian soldier was following loud sounds from farther down the hall that he could only identify as fighting. As he turned the corner, he saw the two women who were causing the disturbance.
<“Stop! You two, weapons down; hands above your head!”> The gruff soldier ordered in Russian.
<“Idiot! Arrest her! She’s the one who–“> Natasha spat at her comrade before her mouth took a faceful of white carbon dioxide from Ada’s extinguisher.
The enemy spy then sprayed a cloud at the Russian guard before shooting him dead with her pistol. The extinguisher’s fuel in the air set off the sprinkler system on the whole floor, which was washing away the carbon dioxide in the air. As the water was soaked her clothes, fire alarms shrieked across every floor of the building.
“Damn! That was a stupid move!” Ada cursed herself. “Now every soldier in the building will be coming up to this floor! I have to get out of here!” She retreated down the hall, switching her pistol for the dead soldier’s AKS-74u along the way.
Natasha coughed violently as she ran back away from the cloud of CO2. She covered her mouth and nose to avoid inhaling more of the harmful gas. Lucky for her, the water from the sprinklers dissipated enough of the gas to allow her to breathe again. Her hair and clothes soaked, Natasha slowly walked forward while supporting herself against the wall. Her throat was sore from coughing, but she still needed to contact Steve and Bucky about her situation. Natasha switched on the small radio on her right ear.
“Captain Ame–*cough*! Steve! Do you–*cough*–do you read me!?”
“I read you, Widow.” The Captain replied. “You don’t sound good! Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, Steve. Just listen, I found the assassin! It’s not Volk 3! Her name is Ada Wong! She’s Asian! In her thirties! Wears a red dress!”
“Then what the Hell happened to Volk 3!?”
“He’s dead! She killed him and took his uniform! That’s how we weren’t able to spot her! I’m pursuing her on on the east hallway on the third floor!”
“Alright, just sit tight while Bucky and I come back you up!”
“Fine. Just get here soon! We can’t allow that suka to escape! Black Widow, out!”
She walked up to the soldier that Ada killed and took a Makarov pistol from his pouch. She wiped her soaking wet hair away from her eyes and raced down the hallway towards Ada. She was not going to let Ada get away this easily.
For Ada, things just went from bad to worse. Her own carelessness turned what was probably the best assassination job of her career into a frantic race for her life. Not only had she drawn the attention of SHIELD, but by now she’d probably had the Spetsnaz after her too! The fire extinguisher bought her some time, but as long as she was in Moscow, everyone was her enemy. Ada’s only hope right now was that the CO2 from the fire extinguisher was enough to kill that Russian bitch.
Even worse, her evac helicopter was due to pick her up any minute. Her employers have absolutely zero tolerance for failure. It wouldn’t matter to them if she’d assassinated the President if she only got herself captured in the end. Her employers would find a replacement and assign them to kill Ada before she could be interrogated. Ada’s survival rested on whether or not she escaped the building as soon as possible. Failure was not an option.
Carrying her captured AKS-74u, Ada ignored her soaking hair and dress and ran through the hallway. Up ahead to the left was a fire escape she could maybe use to get down to the garage and steal a car. But before she could escape, a large man with a left metal arm crashed through the door, wielding an AK-12 assault rifle.
“Fuck! Another one!?” Ada cursed in her mind. She sprayed her submachine gun at the Winter Soldier, who used his cybernetic arm as a shield. Bucky yanked Ada’s weapon and crushed it in his metal hand. He then took a swing at Ada, only to miss when the latter ducked under his punch. The assassin shifted to the left and threw a crescent kick into Bucky’s face. The attack didn’t hurt him, but it caused the SHIELD agent to drop his weapon in surprise.
Ada reached for the AK, but Bucky gripped her and wrapped his metal arm around her body–right on top of her boobs.
“You pervert! Get your hands off my–GACK!!!” Bucky’s bear hug squeezed Ada’s lungs.
“Shut the hell up!” He shouted. “Just be happy we need you alive!” He was American…..Ada didn’t expect that.
With his free hand, Bucky turned on his earpiece. “This is Barnes! I’ve apprehended the tar–” He suddenly felt a painful spike of electricity surge in his metal arm. Ada used the small taser she kept in her jacket pocket. The violent jolt deactivated the Winter Soldier’s arm, releasing Ada. The enemy spy punched the larger man in the nose and rolled forward to take his rifle.
With her captured AK-12, Ada rushed into the stairwell and began her descent.
Meanwhile, Black Widow raced through the soaking hallway and found Bucky holding his now-useless metal arm.
“Barnes, what the Hell happened!?” Shouted Natasha.
“The assassin had a taser.” Bucky answered. “It shut off the power in my left arm. I won’t be able to use it for a while. She went down the fire escape.”
Natasha handed Bucky her Makarov in his good arm and the two gave chase into the stairwell.
Over the railing, they saw Ada had already cleared the first flight of stairs downwards. But on her way to the second floor, Ada was yet again intercepted by a SHIELD agent. This time a it was large man about Bucky’s size, wearing a costume and a shield decorated like the American flag. Ada pointed her AK at Steve, who lifted his shield in defense. He slowly advanced at the assassin, forcing her step by step towards the wall.
“Come on now.” Said Captain America in a calm voice. “There’s no way out of this. We can end this right here; just put down the gun, and we’ll take you alive.”
Behind Ada were Black Widow and the Winter Soldier, the former pointing her shock bracelet and the latter pointing his pistol at Ada.
“Give it up, suka.” Said Natasha with venom in her voice. “You’re trapped here.”
Ada was becoming more desperate by the second. She was surrounded. If she tried to jump the railing, she’d only break her neck from a swift 40 or 50 foot drop to the floor. Surrender or suicide–both were unacceptable.
Ada clung to her assault rifle as she tried to form a plan.
‘Put. Down. The gun. NOW!” Captain America repeated his orders in a more demanding tone.
Ada looked up to her right and noticed the railing at the flight of stairs two floors above her. The assassin smirked slightly–she finally had an idea.
“Okay, Uncle Sam. You win.” Ada sighed. Slowly, methodically, she put her AK on the floor and went down to her knees. She placed her hands behind her head, her fingers clasping together. Ada’s one chance of escape relied on her making her surrender as convincing as possible. She carefully slipped her right hand into her left sleeve, where she kept a small watch hidden out of view. She held down the two buttons on each side of the wristwatch.
The SHIELD agents cautiously went forward to apprehend Ada. Natasha squinted her eyes as she noticed Ada’s hand inside her sleeves.
“STOP!” Natasha ordered. “Whatever you have on your wrist, take it off and put it on the floor.”
“Really? I can’t even stop adjust my watch?” Ada groaned in mock annoyance.
“Take it off. Now.” Natasha grunted.
“Alright! Alright!” Ada slowly removed the watch and showed it to her captors. “See? It’s just a watch. Totally harmless.” She placed the seemly innocuous device on the floor. Ada smirked. Unfortunately for them, her watch wasn’t so harmless after all.
(WARNING: THE FOLLOWING SOUND IS EXTREMELY HARMFUL AND COULD CAUSE AUDITORY DAMAGE. PLAY THIS VIDEO ON THE LOWEST VOLUME POSSIBLE, AND DO NOT WEAR HEADPHONES!)
*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!*
Ada set off the sonic emitter hidden inside her watch. A piercing noise like a thousand needles caused Ada’s enemies to fall over and cover their ears. Resisting the pain, the assassin pulled her hookshot out of her jacket and rappelled two floors up. Despite all odds, her distraction worked. But going downstairs was now officially out of the question. Her only choice now was to go upstairs.
Captain America stomped on the watch, ending it’s torturous noise.
(Stop the video. Before your ears start bleeding.)
Black Widow was the first to recover. She aimed her shock bracelet and used the grappling hook to fly up to Ada’s position.
“Why don’t we have one of those?” Bucky lamented. He and the Captain began racing up the several flights of stairs leading up to the two women.
Meanwhile, Ada heard a couple of thumping footsteps right behind her and turned around. She groaned when she saw who it was.
“That Russian bitch again!? How did she get up here so quickly!?” Ada furiously sprayed bullets at Black Widow, whose quick reflexes saved her life. She rolled to the right and fired her grappling hook at Ada’s gun, sending plummeting over the railing.
Natasha converted one of her shock bracelets into an electric baton and charged in. She swung at Ada furiously, the latter narrowly dodging each hit. Black Widow’s baton eventually hit Ada’s abdomen, releasing a powerful 1500 volts of electricity throughout her body. Ada shrieked loudly and fell back as she was electrocuted. The attack left a nasty burn wound hidden behind a blackened spot on her crimson dress. It wasn’t fatal but damn, did it hurt! Another hit like that could mean the end for Ada.
Black Widow went in for another swing, but this time Ada caught her arm and kneed Natasha in the gut before stealing her baton from her hand. Now the tables were turned.
Natasha recovered and dodged several attacks from her own weapon, until Ada jabbed the end of the stick into Natasha’s stomach. The Russian screamed loudly from the pain of electrocution until Ada floored her with an elbow to the jaw. Natasha fell chest-first on the floor, unable to stand up. Ada raised her baton to deliver one last, fatal strike to Natasha.
Unfortunately for Ada, an unseen metal object knocked the weapon out of her hand with the force of a speeding SUV. The impact broke the metal baton in half, and Ada was lucky that it didn’t break her hand as well. To Ada’s surprise–and irritation–the object was Captain America’s shield, which had landed in the wall behind her.
Steve had thrown it from the opposite stairwell, just below her. Following closely was the Winter Soldier.
The Asian was beyond pissed off at this point! Her window of escape was shrinking every second, and she still needed to deal with the pesky agents on her tail. Exasperated, she took out her makeup compact, which contained a small, but powerful RPG disguised as a lipstick. She aimed the rocket at the stairwell just leading up to her level.
“I’ve had enough playing cat-and-mouse for one night! Just die already!”
*BOOOOOOM!!!!!!*
The RPG flew into the stairwell and detonated, demolishing the structure and nearly killing Steve and Bucky. Several pounds of concrete and steel rained down to the lower floor, leaving a 40-foot wide gap where the stairway used to be. Steve was on the floor, shielding his old friend from the explosion. Thankfully they were unharmed, but now their only path upstairs was completely cut off.
Normally, the assassin would’ve stopped to make sure that Black Widow was dead, but she couldn’t afford to miss her chopper. She aimed her hookshot at the highest railing and zoomed up to the top of the stairwell. Ada sighed in relief when she wound up in front of the exit door that she knew could only lead to the roof and crashed through.
Natasha meanwhile was slowly regaining consciousness. She supported her self against the metal railing, while she held her stomach with the other arm, where Ada smacked her. Her skin was a fiery red, and was even bleeding slightly. Even though it was just one spot, Natasha’s whole front side felt like it was scorched by the sun.
“Huh. So that’s what it feels like.” Black Widow thought, laughing at the irony of being struct by her own weapon for the first time.
As she got to her feet, Captain America cried out to her, “Natasha! Are you alright!?”
“Y-yeah! I’m fine, Steve! I haven’t died yet!” Natasha knew she was anything but fine, but she would be damned if she let Ada get away now.
“The stairway’s out! Stay where you are; we’ll find another way to get to you!”
“No! No! Ada is our priority right now! We can’t allow that bitch to get away! I can get to her and stall her while you two catch up!”
The Captain nodded his head. “Okay. You make sure she doesn’t get away. But remember, if she dies, we can’t interrogate her!” He turned to Bucky and asked him, “How’s your left arm?”
The Winter Soldier rotated his arm a couple of times and saw that it was working again. “Good to go!” He answered. The two men began moving downstairs to find another way to the rooftop.
“And Steve…” Natasha called out to her friend one more time.
“Thank you.” She smiled warmly at Steve, who smiled in return before leaving the area. With both agents out of view, it was up to Natasha to end this nightmare.
But first, she needed a weapon.
She looked down and saw that her baton was broken in half on the floor–no doubt thanks to Steve’s shield. Luckily, she had a secondary baton on her left gauntlet. Speaking of the Captain’s famous shield, it crashed into the wall just a few inches above and was sticking out like a crashed UFO against a skyscraper.
“I’m sure Steve won’t mind if I borrow this for a while.” Natasha reasoned. She jerked the circular shield out of the wall, exposing the crater it left. The weapon was heavier than she was used to, but she could manage. With the shield on her right arm, Natasha aimed her grappling hook and soared up to the rooftop exit. There was only one place Ada could be now…
The freezing Russian wind outside howled against Ada’s body. Her lungs ached as she breathed the frigid air in and out. Her black boots were slightly buried in the blanket of snow that covered the rooftop outside. The cold air intensified the stinging burn wound by Black Widow’s baton. But Ada didn’t pay attention to any of that. All she was thinking of right now was her next move.
Ada’s situation was desperate, but not hopeless. She’d made it this far–now she needed to find away to get off this building once and for all. By some miracle, there were no soldiers or officers deployed on the roof. Far below, police and fire sirens shrieked loudly along the street.
From the the rooftop, Ada saw a mess of human bodies huddled around the entrance–civilians, cops, soldiers, paramedics, and journalists, both foreign and domestic. An ambulance was parked in front of the government building, presumably to whisk their pathetic excuse of a “President” away to the hospital. Ada knew it was futile; their leader would be dead by the time he got to the entrance.
Ada heard the door slam open behind her. Black Widow appeared just a few feet away with shield in hand.
“I really should’ve just killed her when I had the chance.” Ada groaned.
“I’ll give you this Wong: you’re very tough to make it this far! But there’s nowhere left to run! Just give yourself up so we can take you to SHIELD Headquarters and be done with it!”Ada turned around to see Natasha. For the first time, the Asian was truly angry at the Russian.
“Surrender? Sure. Then what? Get dragged into some interrogation room? Confess who hired me for this job? Spend the next few months in a cold cell in God knows where, and wait for my employers to put a bullet in my head!? No thanks!”
“There’s only one other way out of this, suka.” Natasha replied in an equally icy voice.
Ada snorted. “What, kill me? Come on, we both know you wouldn’t do that. If I’m dead, you’ll have no idea who I’m working for or why they hired me.” Her face returned to its usual smug smile.
Black Widow heard just a hint of nervousness in Ada’s voice. “Wong’s stalling for time.” She thought. “She’s scared of something, but it’s not me.”
“What are you so afraid of, Wong? Is it your employers?” Natasha asked. “You refuse to surrender, and you’d rather risk death taking on three Avengers in order to escape. Just who the Hell are you working for!?”
Ada’s answer was obvious: “I don’t recall ever having to explain anything to you. Not that it matters. Once my helicopter arrives, I’ll be long gone from this frozen rathole you call a country, and you’ll never get another chance to catch me.”
Black Widow did her best to stay cool, but in truth she was ready to go off like a stick of dynamite–make that a nuclear missile.
“You can stand there and gloat all you want, you arrogant bitch.” The Russian Avenger challenged. “But one way or another, I WILL make you talk! Even if it has to be through bloody, broken teeth!”
Natasha raised the star-spangled shield in front. On her left hand, she deployed her second stun baton, and took a gladiator-like stance.
The former Umbrella spy laughed, “Ha! Good luck hitting me with that ridiculous weapon you can hardly carry! But the night’s still young; I’m in the mood for one more dance with you.” Ada drew her own weapons, a slender combat knife and a 9mm she captured earlier.
No more words were spoken. The two women spies stared each other down one last time. Will Black Widow live up to her name as an Avenger, or will Ada Wong at last escape with her life?
Where all the fights are settled in just a few paragraphs!
No rules!
No research!
Sixty (or more) seconds!
MEEEELEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! GO!
(Press any button to start)
This Episode’s Players: Louis LeVainquer (Player 1)
Hiro Takeda (Player 2)
Louis: Good to see you, Hiro! Thanks again for coming over! I’m glad you’re not as salty as Edward when it comes to OMM.
Hiro: It’s the least I can do! I mean, you and Ed worked so hard helping Sly and I with Chris vs. Punisher, so think of this as me returning the favor!
Louis: Pas de problem! So, usual rules?
Hiro: You got it.
(Lou selects Versus; Player vs Player; One round per fight; One character; 100% Health)
Louis: I heard some Resident Evil characters got released as DLC. Is that true?
Hiro: Yeah, I heard. Actually, it’s kinda the reason I wanted to play you. (Smirks) You’ll see why in a second.
Louis: Alrighty. Also, have you ever played House of the Dead?
Hiro: Uhhhh, maybe once or twice, but not that much. Why?
Louis: Because…(Scrolls and picks Lisa Rogan)
Name: Lisa Rogan Age: 19 Sex: Female Appearance: The House of the Dead III The daughter of famed AMS agent Thomas Rogan. Lisa’s father went missing during an unsuccessful raid on the zombie-infested EFI Research building. Two weeks later, Lisa and her father’s old partner G went on their own mission to rescue Thomas and finish what he started.
Louis: To quote a famous woman: “When a lady says ‘no!’, she means it!”
Hiro: Ha! Well, let’s hope she’ll say “yes” to her opponent!
Name: Rebecca Chambers Age: 18 Sex: Female Appearance(s): Resident Evil; Resident Evil 0; Resident Evil 5 The youngest member of the Special Tactics and Rescue Service. A brilliant medic, Rebecca possesses a degree in Chemistry and a passion for helping others when she’s needed.
Louis: Rebecca Chambers? Huh. Didn’t think Capcom even remembered her anymore. That reminds me, Ed and I are planning a battle between Leon and Claire, and the Magician from House of the Dead. In fact, the Prelude’s already done!
Hiro: That’s awesome! I’ll check it out after this! Well then, let’s see whose zombie-asskicking girl wins!
(Cycles through three or four stages until he settles on “Unknown Laboratory.”)
Get Ready For A Show!: → Alright! Changed my mind!
(Louis selects “Alright!”)
(Loading. Loading. Loading. Loading.)
Unknown Time and Date Unknown Laboratory
Lisa was laying facedown on a cold metal floor. She’d just barely woke into consciousness. She had no memory of where she was or what happened to her. The blonde struggled to lift herself off the floor and took in her new surroundings.
“What the–where the Hell am I?”
The room was completely pitch-black. It was too dark for Lisa to even see her own body.
“Hello!? If this a joke, it’s not funny! Come on out and show yourself!”
Lisa sounded angry, but in truth she was terrified. She felt like a character out of the trashy horror movies she watched as a kid–the kind where some psychotic old pervert would kidnap young women, chain them to their basements and do unspeakable things to them. The thought of it made her skin crawl.
“Get it together, Lisa! You fought through a whole building of zombies and monsters! This is nothing compared to that!” Lisa scolded herself in an effort to calm herself down.
Suddenly, the blonde heard another person’s voice just to her right..
“Hello? Who’s there?” The voice belonged to another young woman, but hers was a bit lighter and more youthful than Lisa’s. “Who’s shouting?”
“What? Can you hear me?” Lisa asked the stranger. They couldn’t see each other in this darkness, but at least they could speak.
“Yeah. Do you have any idea where we are?”
“No clue.” Lisa responded. “This whole place is pitch black. I can’t see a damn th–.”
*FLASH!*
Without warning, the room was lit up as several rows of ceiling lights shone down from above. The sudden flash stung the girls’ eyes, but now they could see at each other.
The stranger standing across from Lisa was a young girl just about her age. She was a brunette who wore her short hair in an almost boyish bob cut, and she was dressed in some military gear with green pants and a snow-white vest. The confused look on the stranger’s face was enough to tell Lisa that she was also kidnapped here.
“Who are you?” Lisa asked the other girl. “Do you have any idea what’s going on?”
“I’m Rebecca. And no, I haven’t the slightest clue what’s happening, but I don’t like it.”
They were both trapped inside what seemed like some kind of high-tech training room straight out of a science-fiction movie. The cavernous room was about two football fields long. The floor, walls and ceiling were made of hundreds of polished, reflective metal panels. There were dozens of security cameras hanging where the wall met the ceiling. At the far side of the room was a massive TV screen, like one would see at a football game. Below the TV was a set of metal doors that seemed like an exit. The atmosphere around the giant room carried a certain “wrongness” to it, as if some outside creep was constantly watching Lisa and Rebecca.
“Still, it beats being trapped in some perv’s basement.” Said Lisa.
Rebecca chuckled a bit, but was still nervous. She carefully examined the room, trying to find a possible escape route.
“Think we should find a way out?” The blonde asked.
Rebecca sighed. “I don’t know if we can. There’s no windows, the security cameras are watching our every move, and the vents are at least four stories high. It seems like the only way out of here is through those metal doors, but those are probably locked.” The brunette worriedly placed her fist underneath her chin.
“Whoever brought us here must have done so for a reason.” Rebecca added. “Why would someone take the time to bring us to a place where we can be easily watched, have no escape route, and no line of communication except that TV?”
As if Lisa wasn’t freaked out enough. “I take it back–this is way worse than being trapped in a basement! So you’re saying that they want to tell us something?”
“It seems that way, yeah.”
“Shit.” Lisa growled. “Well, he’s in luck because I have quite a few things I’d like to say to whatever sick bastard kidnapped us!”
Rebecca looked at Lisa. “Careful, now. Remember, he can see and hear both of us anytime. There’s no telling what he can do if we piss him off.”
“He should be more worried about pissing me off!” Lisa boasted.
“You certainly have a lot of spirit.” Said Rebecca as she smiled at the blonde.
“Call it a family creed.” Said Lisa. “My father always told me to believe in myself, and I don’t intend to quit doing that!”
Rebecca felt a little reassured by the blonde’s confidence, but she still kept her guard up.
After a few minutes, Rebecca gasped. “Oh, I’m sorry! All this time and I didn’t ask you your name.”
“It’s Lisa.” The blonde answered. “Lisa Ro–“
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!*
The two women were startled by a loud PA noise, and they noticed the giant TV screen was flickering to life. Finally, they would learn who was behind all this.
In a few seconds, the picture on the monitor came clear.
The image on screen was that of a sinister-looking man dressed in a pristine white labcoat. He sat uprightly in his chair and rested his chin on his hands, which were clasped together in front. The scientist’s face was shrouded in darkness, except for his glasses which brightly reflected the screen he was watching.
The man flicked on the microphone in front of him. “So, you’re both awake. Splendid.”
“Who are you? Where are we, and why did you take us here?” Rebecca was the first to speak to the kidnapper.
“My name is of no importance.” The scientist replied in a cold, emotionless voice. “However, you should know that the room in which you stand once belonged to the Umbrella Corporation.”
“Umbrella?” Lisa asked, never having heard of the company.
But Rebecca was all too familiar with that disgusting corporation. “Umbrella was a powerful pharmaceutical company. But they were responsible for a number of illegal experiments and biological disasters, including the Raccoon City Incident of 1998. They went bankrupt in 2001 after all their crimes were made public.”
“That is correct, Ms. Chambers.” Said the man on screen. “Rest assured that I am not here on Umbrella’s behest. I merely chose this facility because I found it most conducive for my research.”
“Research? For what?” Lisa demanded.
“For the experiment which I have selected you and Ms. Chambers for.” The scientist answered.
“Lisa Rogan, you rescued your father from the EFI Research Facility and destroyed Dr. Roy Curien’s ultimate creation, the ‘Wheel of Fate’. Rebecca Chambers, you were one of the few survivors of the Arklay Mansion case of 1998. Both of you are excellent candidates for this experiment.”
He paused. “This exercise will be a survival test. The purpose of this experiment is to determine what two strong-willed individuals with no prior history will do when put in a life-or-death situation. Simply put–one of you must terminate the other.”
“Hell, no! We’re not agreeing to that!” Lisa roared at the man in shock and anger.
“You want two complete strangers to kill each other!?” Shouted Rebecca. “You’re outta your mind if you think we’ll go along with something that twisted!”
The scientist paused without changing his expression.
“I anticipated this reaction from you two. However, I have no need for non-compliant subjects. Therefore, I have provided you with a little…incentive.” He pointed his finger upwards. “Look towards the ceiling.”
Lisa and Rebecca looked in the direction he was pointing.
“Embedded in the ceiling far above you are forty-three canisters, each filled with 300 milliliters of sarin gas.”
Both women were horrified at the news, Rebecca especially because she majored in Chemistry and knew exactly what sarin gas is capable of.
“To my right is a button which will open the canisters, releasing the toxic gas into the training area. When exposed, you two will experience intense skin burning, blindness, respiratory failure, uncontrolled vomiting, and ultimately, death.”
The girls were speechless that their kidnapper would go to such atrocious lengths. Was this guy really so sick that he would gas them both if they didn’t follow his orders?
“Bullshit!” Shouted Lisa, masking her fear with defiance. “You wouldn’t go through all this trouble just to kill us! You’d have no more test subjects for your fucked-up experiment!”
“Are you certain, Ms. Rogan?” The depraved scientist replied. “Terminating you two would be of little consequence to me. I would simply search for more cooperative subjects for this experiment. Are you still prepared to test your theory?”
Lisa opened her mouth, but held her words when she looked at Rebecca to her right. The brunette silently warned Lisa to back down. As much as it hurt Lisa’s pride, she couldn’t risk getting both the both of them killed. The blonde stayed quiet.
“Didn’t think so.” Said the scientist with a hint of smugness. “Now then, to begin the simulation.”
The kidnapper pushed a blue button on his console, causing the room around the girls to change. The walls glowed a brilliant blue-white while small geometric figures combined and vaguely formed objects and structures. The figures then took on more definite shape, forming holograms of crumbling buildings, burning cars, and cratered streets. The blank ceiling turned black with the image of a night sky, looking almost sinister with gray smoke clouds rising to the top. The faux-buildings and cars glowed a steely red-orange as several small flames burned them. The “city” was arranged with totaled a car placed on each side, and a ruined blue-and-white bus placed in the middle.
“What the hell is this?” Whispered Lisa. “It feels like we’re in a fucking video game.”
For Rebecca, there was something haunting about the holographic city. “Oh, my God. “This place–it looks just like–“
“Raccoon City.” The scientist interrupted. “Once again, you are correct, Ms. Chambers. The simulation before you is based on Umbrella’s photographs of the 1998 outbreak you previously mentioned. I trust it is a somewhat faithful representation.” He said with a hidden sense of pride, as an artist would have towards a painting.
“Your weapons, however, are quite real.”
Behind the girls, a section of the floor rose out of the ground like a living pillar. It was revealed to be a weapons rack neatly carrying a wide array of firearms, from pistols, to shotguns, to assault rifles and SMGs. There was even a set of grenades stored at the bottom of the rack.
“You may each take one firearm and one grenade. Take as much ammunition as you need.” The scientist calmly instructed the girls as if they were taking a school exam.
“Figures.” Lisa groaned. “This asshole can make a fake city out of thin air, but he wants us to kill each other with real guns.”
“I can’t believe we’re actually doing this.” Rebecca thought. She was getting an awful feeling deep inside her gut.
Lisa and Rebecca walked towards the weapons rack. The blonde took a SPAS-12 shotgun and a long bandoleer with red shotgun shells. Rebecca laid her hand on an MP5 submachine gun, but Lisa grabbed the brunette’s hand before she took it.
Lisa leaned closely to Rebecca’s face and whispered, “If we’re gonna do this, then let’s make each other a promise.”
“I’m listening.”
“Whoever of us survives will find and kill that bastard for making us do this!”
The STARS agent was stunned at first, but then nodded her head. “Deal!”
They took their guns, ammo, and grenades and turned back towards the holographic Raccoon City.
“Splendid.” Said the scientist on screen. “Now you are ready to begin this exercise. Please take cover behind your designated cars on each side of the field. Ms. Rogan, the blue car is yours. Ms. Chambers, the red one on the other side is yours.”
The two girls separated and went to each of their designated covers. Surprisingly, the holograms were completely solid. The metal frames and glass windows felt just like they would feel on a real car. Rebecca had to admit, these were some real impressive holograms.
“Oh, and one last thing.”
Lisa and Rebecca just groaned. What more could this lunatic want?
“You will have sixty seconds to complete this exercise. If the time expires before you are finished, I will release the gas immediately.”
“ONE FUCKING MINUTE!?” Lisa cried in disbelief. “You gotta be kidding me!”
Rebecca was just as appalled. “You can’t be serious! How do you expect us to do this in one minute!?”
“That is for you and Ms. Rogan to determine. Now then…” The scientist pressed another button, and the TV screen switched to the image of a large timer that read 1:00 in red digital numbers.
Exasperated, the two kidnapped women held onto their guns and prepared for the worst sixty seconds of their lives.
Louis: Merde, I almost don’t want to play this match now after watching all that.
Hiro: No kidding. Whoever wins, this story ain’t gonna have a happy ending.
“Three. Two. One.”
“BEGIN!”
Lisa jumped her cover and ran towards the bus in the middle. She took cover beneath one of the bus’ shattered windows. Lisa lifted her shotgun and fired at Rebecca’s car.
The STARS agent kept her head down as the enemy fire pelted her car. Rebecca leaned over and fired back with her submachine gun. Her bullet’s crashed and dented around Lisa’s window, but none came close to hitting her. Rebecca was an average shot at best.
But then again, so was Lisa. Not only that, but her shotgun didn’t have enough range. If Lisa was going to win, she had to get closer.
While Rebecca reloaded, Lisa sprinted towards the front of the bus. She took cover next to the driver’s seat and shot at Rebecca’s flank.
Rebecca yelped as gunfire rained down from her left. She kept as low as she could to avoid getting shot. Her cover was taking a hammering–its windshield was smashed through and its frame was dented with pellet holes. Without looking, Rebecca sprayed her MP5 at Lisa’s cover, hoping to hold her off.
Lisa was once again forced to take cover. She was unharmed, but realized she was getting nowhere just shooting at Rebecca. She cooked her grenade and hurled it at her opponent’s car.
The explosive clanked and rolled its way forward until it stopped right beside Rebecca’s car. The brunette rarely cursed, but this time it was necessary: “Oh, shit!”
She ran away right before the grenade detonated.
*BOOM!*
The explosion caused Rebecca to stumble and roll painfully across the ground. When she stopped, she saw that the car exploded into a flaming metal wreck. Rebecca was just happy to not have been blown up along with it.
The scientist gleefully watched the battle on his monitor. “Impressive. Most impressive.”
Meanwhile, Lisa ran out of the bus and took cover inside a holographic convenience store. She ducked behind the cash register and waited to take Rebecca by surprise.
The brunette shakily got back to her feet and checked her MP5. Luckily, it didn’t sustain any damage from the explosion. Rebecca ran inside the bus and discovered that Lisa was no longer at the driver’s seat. “Where could she have gone?” Rebecca wondered
Her target in plain sight, Lisa raised her shotgun and fired at the front windshield. Rebecca screamed and covered her head as pellets and broken glass flew at her. She ducked beneath the steering wheel and fired back. Lisa vaulted the table and pulled out a few fresh shells from her bandoleer. Of course, reloading a shotgun was a slow, tedious process that left her open to gunfire.
“Come on! Come on, dammit!” Lisa swore as she shoved the fresh rounds into her gun.
Rebecca noticed the break in firing. She decided to give the blonde a nasty taste of her own medicine. The brunette took out her frag grenade, cooked it, and threw it at Lisa’s cover. The green explosive landed in the cashier’s booth that Lisa just left. The blonde looked over the counter and retreated in a panic.
*BOOM!*
The STARS agent uncovered her ears and walked over to Lisa’s cover. Holding her gun, Rebecca surveyed the damage her grenade caused.
The convenience store was blown up in a fiery mess of glass and metal. A massive hole was blown where the windows used to be, and half of the cashier’s booth was blasted away. The front half of the store was a mess of fallen shelves and spilled foods, but the rear was relatively fine. Lisa’s SPAS-12 was found next to a few unloaded shells. And yet, there was no sign of the blonde anywhere.
“Damn it. Where’d Lisa get to?”
Rebecca’s answer came unexpectedly in the form of a hard punch to the face that knocked her to the floor.
It was Lisa–visibly injured, but still very much alive. The blonde was lucky; the cashier table shielded her from most of the explosion, leaving her only with a bruised arm and slightly burnt clothes. She stood over Rebecca, tired and unarmed, but not willing to go down without a fight. Rebecca could respect Lisa’s tenacity if her she wasn’t fighting for her life.
Lisa knelt down on top of Rebecca and grabbed her machine gun. The two struggled furiously for possession of the MP5. Rebecca accidentally pulled the trigger, causing the gun to fire wildly to the side. The sudden burst forced Lisa to let go, allowing Rebecca to elbow her in the face and kick her off. Rebecca tried to stand back up, but was quickly sent back down when Lisa threw a well-timed sweep kick.
In a last-ditch effort, the blonde rolled back into the store to pick up her shotgun. Meanwhile, Rebecca ignored the pain in her back and aimed her machine gun. She didn’t know how much ammo she had left, so her next shots had to count. Lisa recovered her shotgun, but it was too late. She was wide open as Rebecca fired a stream of bullets, one of them landing in Lisa’s side.
Lisa cried out and fell as she clutched at her bullet wound. She looked up and saw Rebecca standing just a few feet in front with her submachine gun. Lisa was wounded, cornered, and completely at Rebecca’s mercy. And yet, Lisa didn’t look at hate in hate, or anger, or even fear. In fact, she was actually smiling at her.
“Well…I guess that’s it.” Lisa chuckled. “You beat me fair and square.”
Rebecca hesitated. She was faced with a heartbreaking choice. Could she really take an innocent person’s life to save her own?
“No…This isn’t right! I can’t–“
“It’s alright, Rebecca!” Lisa pleaded. “This…isn’t your fault, okay? We both–we both knew it was gonna be you…or me. Forget about me! Just save yourself! Shoot me!”
Rebecca only had a few seconds to decide.
Life or Death?
Kill:
Spare:
Hiro: Woah. This is…unexpected.
Louis: I think this came with the new update a few weeks ago. Now you can choose whether you want to kill or spare your opponent if you win. Well…you won fair and square. It’s your choice.
Hiro: Y’know, after watching that whole intro…I think I’ll spare Lisa. (Presses Circle)
Rebecca made up her mind.
“No.”
She threw away the MP5 like it was a piece of garbage. Her fear turned into anger and defiance.
“I don’t care what that bastard scientist says! I will never kill an innocent person as long as I live!”
Needless to say, the scientist wasn’t pleased with this outcome. “What is this!? She’s defying my instructions!”
“Simulation terminated. Simulation terminated.” A computerized female voice called out.
The holographic Raccoon City quickly vanished. The vehicles, buses, and buildings reverted back to the same blue-white figures that formed them until they disappeared. The large simulation room reverted back to its original state, except for the the two black scorch marks where the grenades exploded.
The giant TV screen flashed on once again, displaying the image of the scientist from earlier.
“What are you doing, Chambers!? I clearly instructed that one of you was to finish off the other!”
“Shut the fuck up!” Rebecca roared. “This is wrong, and you know it! I’m not some lab rat that you can study and dispose of whenever you want! I’m a human being, and so is Lisa! I’d rather be dead myself than murder an innocent person for your sick game!”
“I would choose my words wisely, Chambers. You are aware that I could instantly kill both of you, aren’t you!?”
“You’re a smart man, right?” Rebecca taunted. “You know that I’m with STARS. I’m sure you’ve heard of some other people: Barry Burton. Jill Valentine. Chris Redfield. My friends. My teammates. By now, they would’ve noticed I’m missing and that something might’ve happened to me! They’ll never rest until they find this place! Even if it takes them years!”
“I assure you, Ms. Chambers, that your colleagues have little chance of finding–“
“I assure you, they will.” Rebecca replied coldly. “And when–not if–when they find out you murdered me and another innocent girl, it’ll be your worst and last mistake.”
“Rebecca’s right” Lisa shouted. She was still wounded, but too angry to feel any pain.
“And she’s not the only one who knows people!” Lisa continued. “My dad Thomas Rogan, and his old partner “G.” They were two of the AMS’s best agents! They spent twenty years hunting down sick fucks in labcoats like you! I don’t know when or how, but someday they will find this funhouse. If my dad learns that his only daughter was murdered by some coward who dares call himself a scientist–he will find you, and he will kill you.”
Rebecca and Lisa stood side-by-side, defiantly looking at the image of the scientist. He tried to appear calm, but they could tell he was deeply frustrated.
“We’ve had enough of your bullshit!” Lisa roared for the last time. “We’re not fighting anymore! You’ll have to either kill us or let us go!”
“Damn right!” Rebecca agreed.
The scientist leaned his head into his hands. He carefully weighed his options. Sure, he could easily kill the two girls, but doing so would mean spending months and months searching for new candidates of similar quality. And who knows how long that would take until the girls’ compatriots find this facility and compromise the whole process?
The room was covered in a deafening silence for several seconds. Finally, the sadistic scientist made his choice .”Fine.” He pushed a button his console.
The two girls held their breaths and shut their eyes, waiting for the toxic gas to flood the room and choke away their lives.
*WRRRRRRRRRR!!!*
“You’re free to go.”
What? He didn’t release the gas? Lisa and Rebecca opened their eyes.
The metal doors that sealed them in were now open.
That was it? After everything he’d done–everything he made them do–he was letting them go, just like that?
He was letting them go? Just like that?
“I’m allowing you two to live. For now.” The scientist spoke. “However, this does not mean that this experiment is over. There is still plenty more research to be conducted before I will let you two leave. In the meantime, you may leave the Simulation Room, but please leave your weapons here. Ms. Chambers, I understand that you are a trained field medic. A first aid kit will be provided for Lisa upon your exit. Treating your friend’s wounds should be no difficult task for you.”
The scientist waved at the camera and chuckled sisterly. “Well, until we meet again.” With that send-off, the image on the monitor flickered off.
Rebecca was just stupefied. It was as if her brain couldn’t process what happened just two minutes ago.
“I can’t believe what I just did!” Rebecca thought. “I’m usually so calm, but I just–exploded! I screamed and cursed at that man, and even told him to kill me! All because I wouldn’t kill Lisa! When on Earth did I become so brave?”
“Hey, Rebecca?” Lisa said, bringing the latter out of her trance.
“Y-yeah? What is it?”
Suddenly, Lisa threw her arms around Rebecca and hugged her. “Thank you!”
“F–for what?” The brunette was even more confused now.
“What do you mean, ‘for what?'” Lisa said. “For saving my life! For standing up to that asshole! I was willing to let you kill me so you could escape! But now we can both leave, thanks to you!”
Rebecca blushed. “I mean…I honestly don’t know what I was thinking. I mean, I could’ve gotten us killed, with my outburst. I don’t even know if the STARS really can–“
“No, Rebecca! You were amazing! We’re alive now, because of yo–” Lisa suddenly groaned and reached for her side–a painful reminder that she was still shot.
“This fucking bullet!” She swore silently.
“Oh, my God! I’m so sorry I shot you!” Rebecca cried as she carried Lisa by the shoulder.
Lisa smiled through the pain. “Don’t worry about it. Like I said, this wasn’t your fault. Besides, you’ll need a hell of a lot more than one little bullet to kill Thomas Rogan’s daughter!”
They shared a laugh and smiled. Rebecca took another look at Lisa’s wound.
“Well, the good news is, it doesn’t look like anything more than a flesh wound. Just keep pressure on it until we get you some first aid.”
“No problem.” Lisa grunted. She and Rebecca took another look at the open doorway ahead.
“So what now, medic?” The blonde asked.
“First, we get you patched up. And then, we find our way out of this hellhole. Together.”
“Sounds like a plan. Like my dad always says, we just gotta believe in ourselves. No matter what.”
The two women marched towards the exit, ready to take on whatever madness that quack had in store for them. As long as they had each other’s back, they would fight their way out of this madhouse.
Meanwhile, the scientist sat in his surveillance room, already devising the next challenge for his two disobedient lab rats.
“Insolent brats. The night is still young. There are still plenty more experiments they have yet to partake in. The research must go on.”
With no life taken, this Melee’s winner Is…..
Rebecca Chambers!
(Player 2 Wins!)
P1: 0 Win P2: 1 Win
TROPHY UNLOCKED!“That’s ‘Officer’ Chambers to you.” Win a match as Rebecca Chambers
BIOHAZARD: Win a match as any Resident Evil character
An Act of Mercy Spare an opponent’s life
Hiro: Holy crap, we actually got three Trophies for that?
Louis: Yeah, I didn’t expect that either. Do you think they have any chance of actually escaping?
Hiro: Oh, totally. Rebecca escaped the Umbrella Training Facility and the Arklay Mansion. And I don’t know anything about Lisa, but clearly she’s some kind of badass herself. I think they’ll be just fine.
Louis: Bien, bien. Well, you ready to go another round?
Hiro: Hell yeah! And this time, I’m not letting you li–
(Edward suddenly teleports into the room)
Louis: Ed!? What the Hell!? You know I hate it when you just drop in all of a sudden like that!
Hiro: So you’re Louis’ partner? My name’s Hiro Takeda.
Edward: Pleased to meet you, lad. And pardon my intrusion, but I happened to overhear a certain co-host of mine was playing OMM when he should be helping me writing the script for “Leon & Claire vs Magician!”
Louis: C’mon, we went over this! I said that I would do the awesome battles and explosions while you handle the boring stuff!
Edward: “Boring stuff!?” No battle can be complete unless it has smart dialogue, a compelling setup, and a brilliantly written plot!
Louis: That was the whole reason it took us a year to finish “Revy vs Jill!” I’m amazed we’re still getting paid!
Hiro: Guys! Guys! Settle down! You’re both great writers and hosts! There’s no need for you to fight! How ’bout we just all sit down and enjoy a few more rounds of OMM?
Edward: (Sighs) Aye, you’re right. We’ve been needing to let off some steam.
Louis: C’est bien. (Hands Ed a third controller) Wonder if this game has a Free-For-All Mode? You guys ready?
Where all the fights are settled in just a few paragraphs!
No rules!
No research!
Sixty (or more) seconds!
MEEEELEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! GO!
(Press any button to start)
[Louis’ name is the French pronunciation. (Pronounced “Louie”)]
This Episode’s Players: Louis LeVainquer (Player 1)
Edward Elvis (Player 2)
Louis: Okay, who should I kick your ass with this time?
Edward: (Laughing confidently) Oh, you’ll be surprised how much I’ve practiced this game behind your back, Louis.
Louis: You mean besides the time you’ve spent practicing your prissy little parlor tricks?
Edward: Oi, do you want me to turn your $400 PS4 into a giant cockroach?
Louis: (Silent)
Edward: I thought not. Let’s just select our characters already.
(The two search around the select screen for a while)
Louis: I think I’m in a Walking Dead mood. I’ll pick Clementine.
Name: Clementine
Age: 17
Sex: Female
Appearance: The Walking Dead (Telltale games) A young survivor of the zombie apocalypse in North America. Hardened by years of fighting walkers and bandits, she’ll do whatever is necessary to stay alive.
Edward: Zombie survivor waifus, huh? Well, in that case, I guess I’ll pick Ellie.
Name: Ellie
Age: 19
Sex: Female
Appearance: The Last of Us Part 1, 2 A wandering girl who is the sole carrier of an immunity to a fungal zombie outbreak that’s plaguing her country. She now goes on a quest of revenge to kill a group of raiders who destroyed her home.
Louis: Bien! Now we just need to pick a stage and we’re good to go.
(Louis scrolls through four or five stages until he stops on “Abandoned Campsite (Night)”)
Edward: Seems appropriate for two people fighting in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.
Louis: Abandoned Campsite it is! Let the battle of the zombie waifus commence!
Ready to rock? → Hell yeah!
One more minute…
(Louis selects “Hell yeah!” and the game goes into a loading screen)
(Loading. Loading. Loading. Loading.)
December 24 Somewhere in Virginia, USA
Things couldn’t be worse for Clementine. Just days ago, she was separated from her group of survivors thanks to the last walker horde they encountered on the road. For three days, she was wandering alone through the vast forests of Virginia. She had no idea where her group was. For all she knew, they either died, stopped to look for her to no avail, or just decided to move on without her.
On top of that, it was two months into winter. Clementine had been traveling for so long she hadn’t had time to dress warmly. The air howled with a merciless wind that caused Clementine’s body to shiver. The trees and grass were buried under a deep layer of snow that was not only hard to walk, but painfully cold. The cold was so intense that it caused her ears, toes, and fingers to go numb. Worst of all, it was nighttime. The sun had went down hours ago, and there wasn’t even a full moon to take its place. Clem was left with nothing more than a dying flashlight to find her way through the orchard.
Amazingly, the seventeen-year-old hadn’t run into any walkers or bandits for three days. Her biggest enemy right now was the cold. Her only hope was to find a shelter where she could rest and warm up in until morning. Eventually, she came up to the top of a snowhill, and felt like her prayers were answered. Within the valley was a row of three tents surrounding an unlit campfire. The sheer amount of joy Clem was feeling was enough to make her ignore the cold.
She rushed downhill into the camp, using her flashlight to scan for any walkers, humans, or animals. She only spotted one. Lying facedown next to the fire pit was the motionless corpse of an older man. He sported a small tuft of white hair on his chin, and his skin turned almost yellow. The man must have been dead for months. Clementine also noticed a bullet wound on the left side of the man’s head, as well as a revolver pistol held in his hand. The last thing Clem saw was a bite mark on the man’s leg. It didn’t take long to figure out how he died.
“I’m sorry you had to this to yourself.” She thought. For a brief moment Clementine remembered the heartbreaking moment when she was forced to shoot her father figure Lee to save him from becoming a walker.
She then shook her head and resumed her search.
Lucky for her, the dead man was wearing a large, probably heavy backpack that had to contain enough supplies to keep Clem going for another week. She opened the backpack. Jackpot. This guy had everything: water, canned food, matches, a compass, a Swiss army knife, ammunition, even winter clothes that can fit Clementine! Whoever this guy was, he sure knew how to stay prepared.
Clementine gathered some firewood and used the matches to start a small fire. The warm, glowing ember lit up the camp, soothing its caster’s freezing body. Clem took out a can of red beans, heated it up over the fire, and ate its contents ravenously. Sure, it wasn’t much, but any bit of food was like a blessing for her aching stomach.
As the fire died down, the Georgian survivor walked over to one of the tents, taking the revolver with her in case of intruders. She then crawled beneath the makeshift covers and finally went to sleep.
Louis: Golly, how long do we have to wait until the fight starts!?
Edward: You’re so impatient. Just enjoy the cutscene.
(Two hours later)
Clementine’s sleep was disturbed when she felt a strange heat from outside. Through the narrow slit of her tent’s curtains, Clem noticed a campfire outside.
“What the Hell?” The girl thought. “I thought I put out the campfire already? Someone else must be here.”
Clem nervously grabbed her revolver, but hid it in the back of her jeans to avoid any unwanted conflict. Outside her tent, she now saw that her hunch was right–there was another visitor in this camp.
The person in question was a young girl who seemed a few years older than Clem. She had short, dull red hair that was tied in a ponytail, a faded white T-shir worn beneath a baby blue jacket, a pair of jeans that looked like they haven’t been washed for months, and a black backpack that still looked usable despite a few scratches and cuts. The stranger was helping herself to a can of roasted red beans–obviously from the backpack Clementine looted earlier. She was visibly armed with a bolt-action hunting rifle, which made Clem doubly cautious.
The intruder didn’t seem all that threatening, but if there was one thing Clem learned after several long years it’s to never, ever, let your guard down in front of strangers. Especially if they’re armed. Right now, all she could do was try to play it safe and talk with her “guest”.
“Uh, hello?” She greeted the other girl.
The redhead stopped eating and noticed Clementine. In a panic, she jumped to her feet and pointed her rifle at Clementine. “Don’t move! Who the fuck are you!?” She demanded.
Clementine raised her hands. “Whoa! Whoa! Calm down! I’m not gonna hurt you! I just want to know who you are!”
“Why the fuck should I tell you!?” The intruder protested.
Clementine had to give an answer fast:
: Because I’m like you. : Because I told you to! : I’ll kill you if you don’t! : Say nothing.
“Because I’m like you.” She answered. “I don’t know who you are, but I know you and I both just want to survive. So please, just put the gun do–“
“So we want the same thing. That doesn’t make us friends.” The intruder replied coldly. “Besides, you don’t know shit about me, so don’t pretend that you do. Now tell me–who the Hell are you!?”
: Why should I if you won’t tell me? : Tell me who you are first! : I’m Clementine. : Say nothing.
“Tell me your name, and I’ll tell you mine.” Clementine spoke in an assertive tone.”I think that’s fair, isn’t it?.”The rifle-wielding girl gritted her teeth and went silent for a second. She eventually decided to tell Clem.
“Ellie.”
“And I’m Clementine. See, was that so hard, Ellie? Now just put the gun down, and let’s ta–“
“SHUT UP! I answered your question, now get the fuck away from me! I’ve been wandering around starving and freezing for weeks! This backpack is the biggest score I’ve found, and I’m not gonna lose it!”
: I need it too! : There’s enough for both of us. : I’m not giving it up! : Say nothing
Clementine was really losing her patience. “I need that backpack just as much as you! Without it, I’ll starve and freeze to death out here! And that’s if I don’t get bitten by walkers!”
“Your problem, not mine. Only way you’re getting these supplies is if you pry them from my cold, dead fingers! Now, I’m gonna say this one last time: Turn around and get the Hell out of my sight.“
: No way in Hell! [Draw revolver] : Fine. [Leave campsite]
At that point, Clem had just about enough of Ellie’s shit. “There’s no way in Hell I’m leaving without that food!” She took cover behind a nearby tree and unholstered her pistol.
Ellie looked down the sight of her rifle and fingered the trigger.
No amount of negotiations was going to resolve this. Now, it was just survival of the fittest.
Louis: (Grips his controller tightly) Finally! Time to kick your ass, Eddy!
Edward: (Does the same) Hope you’re ready to get wrecked, Louis!
Ellie aimed her rifle and fired the first two shots. The first bullet scraped the bark across the tree. The second one drilled through the tree just inches above Clem’s head. Before Clem could fire back, the older survivor took cover behind a pile of snow-covered rocks.
Clementine opened her pistol and checked her ammo. “Dammit!” She hissed. “Five bullets. Gotta make ’em count!”
The younger survivor aimed and returned fire. The first two rounds harmlessly ricocheted off Ellie’s rock cover while the third one landed into the snow behind her.
Unharmed, the redheaded intruder fired two more rounds, the second one so accurate it nearly took off Clem’s ear!
Clementine clutched her ear in alarm, thankful that she wasn’t hit. Even so, Ellie proved she was a better shot, even in this total darkness. It also didn’t help that Ellie’s rifle was much more accurate than a revolver. Worst of all, Clementine only had two shots left, and her tree offered her little protection. If she didn’t act soon, she would end up dead while her intruder made off with the survival gear.
Luckily for Clem, Ellie had only one shot left before the reload. The redhead looked down her sight and fired another round that whistled into the forest without hitting its target. Another wasted shot.
“Fuck! Gotta reload!” Ellie shouted inwardly as she scoured her backpack for spare clips.
The survivor from Georgia noticed the sudden silence. She figured that her enemy must have run out of bullets. This was as good as time as any to plan a counterattack. Clem she noticed to her right a row of trees and bushes concealing a slowy pathway that led right to Ellie’s position. Clementine could smirked. Now she had a plan.
Meanwhile, Ellie inserted a new clip into her rifle and took aim at Clementine’s tree, only to find that she was no longer there. Ellie took out her flashlight and furiously scanned the camp.
“Where the Hell did she get to!?”
(0:40)
So far, so good.
Clementine saw the bright beam from Ellie’s flashlight scanning the campsite. She was fine as long as she avoided the light.
The pigtailed survivor crouched and walked silently along the path hidden by the trees and bushes. The path ahead was dark and the snow muffled Clem’s footsteps, making it an ideal flanking route. Her plan was to get close to Ellie’s cover and take her out with her last shots, ending the fight right then and there. It was a risky move, sure, but one that would definitely pay off if it works.
At least, that’s what she hoped.
About halfway through, Clementine felt something grab her ankle! The young girl struggled to free herself, but couldn’t. The thing in question felt like a human hand, except with rotting, skeletal flesh like a corpse. The hand also gave off a putrid, cadaverous small that would’ve made Clem vomit if she wasn’t already so terrified. Most disturbing was the low, inhuman snarling that came from the hand’s owner. To her horror, the girl knew exactly what had grabbed her.
“A walker!? Here!? Why now of all times!?” The pigtailed girl frantically kicked at the zombie’s head again and again, but to no avail. The zombie slowly inched itself closer to Clem’s ankle and opened its jaw.
Clementine’s plan was in jeopardy. Getting bitten by this walker would be catastrophic for her. If that happened, it wouldn’t matter if she beats Ellie. Clem would only suffer as the virus consumed her body, slowly killing her and turning her into another walker……….the same fate that Lee suffered.
“No! I can’t get bit! Not like Lee did!“
The survivor had no choice. She lifted her revolver and pointed it at the zombie’s forehead. She knew that her whole plan would be ruined as soon as she fired, but it was either that or let herself get devoured. The zombie went closer up the young girl’s leg and prepared to bite.
*BANG!!!*
Ellie noticed the loud gunshot and snapped her flashlight towards the bushes on her left. The redhead smiled–her enemy just made a fatal mistake.
“Dumbass. Now I know where you’re hiding.” Ellie mocked as she reached into her backpack and pulled out a 9mm handgun, along with her flashlight. There was no way that little bitch was going to survive this.
As for Clem, it was a good news/bad news situation. The good news: she killed the walker and saved herself from death. The bad news: she was down to one bullet, and now her cover was blown. So much for her plan.
“Bastard!” She cursed at the now-dead zombie. “If you hadn’t got in my way, I would’ve–” Clem went silent as soon as she saw the stream of light from behind. She scrambled behind a tree and hid away from Ellie. The redhead’s footsteps against the snow grew louder, and the beam from her flashlight grew narrower. The two girls were now mere feet away from each other.
Clementine knew this was her last chance. If her bullet hits Ellie, she could still have a chance to win. If she missed, it was all over.
She had to make this last shot count…
(20 Sec.)
Clementine fired!
*BANG!*
Finally, a direct hit! The bullet passed clean through Ellie’s left hand, causing her to drop her flashlight. Clementine tackled the older girl through the bushes. The two girls tumbled back into the campsite where they started.
Clem was on top, and she struggled to take Ellie’s 9mm while the older girl flailed and kicked furiously to shake her off. Eventually, she wrested her right arm free and smacked her pistol against Clem’s forehead before kicking her off.
Clementine landed on her back and threw a handful of snow at Ellie’s face. The cold mush stung and blinded Ellie, buying Clem a few extra seconds.
The Georgian noticed an old rusted shovel sticking blade-down out of the ground just behind her. One good bash against Ellie’s skull should be enough to bring her down. Clem scattered back and grabbed the shovel, it’s heavy metal blade banging against the snow. She raised her shovel and charged towards Ellie!
Ellie wiped the snow off her face, but was too late to avoid Clem’s shovel. The younger girl swung and bashed the gun out of Ellie’s hand. The redhead avoided the next swing and grabbed the handle, ignoring the pain in her bleeding left hand. The two girls pushed and pulled with all their might to get the shovel out of the other’s hands. But Ellie was older and stronger than Clem was.
Ellie kicked Clementine off and took the shovel. Once again Clem was on the snow, unarmed and helpless. She tried to crawl away, but lost her footing each time. The older girl walk in shovel in hand, ready to bash the younger girl’s skull.
At this moment, Clem thought that this was the end. “I’m finished! Ellie’s gonna either kill or knock me out and take all the supplies for herself!”
Suddenly, her hand landed on a cold, metal object in the snow. “Ellie’s gun! I got one last chance to win!”
Clementine raised the gun and aimed.
*BANG!*
The first bullet tore through Ellie’s right leg! The redhead screamed in pain as she collapsed onto the snow.
*BANG!*
The second bullet pierced right at the end of Ellie’s shoulder, forcing her to drop the shovel.
“That’s it! Now’s my chance!” Thought Clementine as she got up and rushed towards the fallen shovel. She picked it up and swung with all her strength.
*THUNK!*
(Stop music)
The shovel’s blade slammed Ellie’s face. Her whole body crashed into the snow like a sack of bricks. A large red bruise had formed on her head where she had been hit.
Clementine stood with her shovel, pausing to see if Ellie would get back up. She didn’t.
“Finally. She’s down. It’s over.” Relived, Clementine dropped the shovel and took another look at Ellie. It was hard to tell, but the older girl was still breathing. She was unconscious, but alive.
“Well, it would be wrong to let her just bleed to death,” Clementine thought. “But I don’t want her being a threat to me again, either.”
So with that, Clementine confiscated the gun and checked the backpack for a First Aid kit to treat Ellie’s wounds and something to tie her up with.
K.O.!!!
And This Melee’s Winner Is…
Clementine! (Player 1 Wins!)
P1: 1 Win P2: 0 Win
TROPHY UNLOCKED!:
“Still…Not…Bitten!”: Win a match as Clementine
The Dead Shall Walk: Win a match as any Walking Dead character
Louis: (Laughing) I win again! And I got two trophies from it! So much for all your “practice”, Eddy!
Edward: Bollocks, I hate this game! Clementine’s so bloody overpowered!
Louis: Overpowered!? She’s like, 15th on the tier list! If anything, you had the better character! It’s not her fault you suck!
Edward: You were camping in the bushes half the time, you cheat!
Louis: Camping!? I was flanking you! You had the range advantage on me with that stupid rifle! Not to mention that damn stage hazard zombie got the jump on me!
Edward: Well…….you wouldn’t have won if you didn’t use that damned shovel!
Louis: It’s called “using items” you stupid fu–
???: Geh schlafen und niemals aufwachen!
(The two suddenly drop to the floor in a deep sleep. A young girl with white robes and brown hair appears in the room.)
Emily: (Annoyed sigh) My brother and Mr. Louis. When will you two fools learn to get along?
Edward: These mysterious young women are the daughters of the night, blessed–or rather, cursed–by their creators with ancient and terrible powers with the intent of obliterating humanity.
Louis: Despite their villainous origins, both of these women rebelled against their evil masters and used their dark powers to protect the world instead.
Edward: And the two dark heroines that will be clashing in this fight: Raven, the demon daughter of Trigon…
Louis: And Shanoa, the Order of Ecclesia’s elite vampire huntress!
Je m’appele Louis LeVainquer! Also known as the Blue Knight!
And I am Edward Elvis, formally known as the Red Mage!
Louis: But we’re not the only ones judging these two girls! To gain better insight on both combatants, we’ve invited Beast Boy, one of Raven’s fellow Teen Titan members.
‘Sup, peoples! Glad to be out here to support my girl Raven!
Edward: And Barlowe, Shanoa’s master, who raised her from a young age to be a slayer of evil.
Greetings. It’s an honor to represent my disciple on this show.
Louis: And all four of us will judge these two heroines’ powers, tactics, and skills to find out who would win…a Death Battle.
Raven: Alias(es): Rachel Roth; Rae; The Gem; Daddy’s Little Girl; Birthday Girl; Mistress of Magic Day of Birth: Unknown Age: Presumably between ages 14-18 Birthplace: Azaroth Race/Nationality: Azarothian (Currently resides in Jump City, California) Height: 5’5 (1.52m) Weight: 110lbs. (50kg.) Affiliation: The Monks of Azaroth; The Teen Titans Theme Music: [wonderplugin_video iframe=”https://youtu.be/Zj8PBz8SCnc” lightbox=0 lightboxsize=1 lightboxwidth=960 lightboxheight=540 autoopen=0 autoopendelay=0 autoclose=0 lightboxtitle=”” lightboxgroup=”” lightboxshownavigation=0 showimage=”” lightboxoptions=”” videowidth=600 videoheight=400 keepaspectratio=1 autoplay=0 loop=0 videocss=”position:relative;display:block;background-color:#000;overflow:hidden;max-width:100%;margin:0 auto;” playbutton=”https://arkhamdeathbattle.com/wp-content/plugins/wonderplugin-video-embed/engine/playvideo-64-64-0.png”%5D
Beast Boy: (Singing) When there’s trouble, you know who to call! Ah, those were some good times.
Louis Hell yeah, they were. But then the corporate monkeys at Cartoon Netwrk went and shit all over it when they made this!
Beast Boy: (Facepalms) Ugh, seriously, what the Hell was Cartoon Network thinking!? They promise to give our super-awesome crimefighting show a 6th freaking season and instead they give us this!?
Edward: Although Teen Titans Go to the Movies was actually quite good.
Louis: I just love how completely humiliated Raven looks in that picture. And why shouldn’t she? The original Teen Titans had so much depth, character, and complexity to it, and this is what it’s redu–
Edward: Okay, okay, okay! Let’s discuss this later, shall we? Anyway, Beast Boy, since you’re a Titans member and have known Raven for so long, why don’t you do the honor of explaining her backstory?
Beast Boy: (Nervously)Uhhh…are you sure? Raven doesn’t like other people learning about her past. She gets kinda……..angry.
Louis: (Snorts) C’mon. What’s the worst she could do?
Two Years Ago at Titans Tower
(Beast Boy is dragged by a dark energy towards a black, shadowy hallway as he cries for help. A set of piercing red eyes open, staring at him.)
Beast Boy: (Shudders) Trust me. You don’t wanna know.
Edward: I understand. But for the sake of this Prelude, we need to know something about Raven’s origin if we’re to have any sort of background for her.
Beast Boy: (Sighs deeply) All right. But I’m warning ya, it ain’t a pretty story. To begin with, Raven didn’t exactly have the best family life. Her dear old dad happened to be Trigon, the big scary inter-dimensional demon dude who liked to spend his afternoons demolishing countries, turning people into statues, and giving his daughter some seriously nasty headaches!
Beast Boy: Yep. That guy. And Raven’s human mother, Arella, wasn’t much better. She was a lonely, unhappy teenager who got caught up in this creepy Satanic cult who worshiped Trigon. Arella and the other cultists performed some kinda ritual to make Trigon appear in human form, and the moment he did, Raven’s mom instantly went head-over-heels for him! So yadda, yadda, yadda, the two ran off, got married, and lived happily ever after. Well…except for that last part. Right after they married, Trigon revealed his true form (i.e., his pretty mug shot above) and decided that he and Arella should have a kid–by raping her.
Louis: (Horrified)Mon Dieu. That’s just…disgusting on so many levels.
Edward: Now I’m starting to wish I’d never asked you for Raven’s backstory.
Beast Boy: (Nods solemnly) Told ya it wasn’t gonna be pretty. Needless to say, Mrs. Trigon wasn’t too excited at the fact that she was carrying the baby of a demon god–so she tried to prevent her birth by committing suicide by drug overdose.
Louis: (Pauses in disturbance)Are you sure this show’s rated TV-Y7?
Beast Boy: Hard to believe, but it is. But this is where it gets better! Instead of dying, Arella was actually taken to the dimension of Azaroth, where she was taken care of by the Monks until she gave birth to a happy, healthy, harbinger-of-doom-and-destruction baby daughter! So long story short, Raven lived a quiet, happy childhood being raised by her now-immortal mother and the wise Monks, who taught her magic, meditation, telepathy, future sight, and all that good stuff. Her mother also taught her to be calm and pacifistic…but from my experience, Raven’s not too good at that.
Edward: All right, so, if Raven spent her whole childhood in Azaroth, how did she end up with the Teen Titans?
Beast Boy: As Raven got older, she had recurring nightmares about this awful prophecy that she would one day release her dad Trigon into the world, and basically cause Armageddon (watch episodes 50 to 52 for more information! They’re really awesome!). Trigon decided to hold off his renovation of the universe until Raven becomes an adult. When she turned fourteen, Raven ran away to Earth out of shame. There, she first met me, Robin, and Cyborg as we were trying to stop our not-quite-new-friend Starfire from turning Jump City into a demolition zone. Raven not only stopped the fight, but even convinced Star to join our side and fight off the bad guys who were after her. Together, the five of us kicked some evil alien ass, and the Teen Titans were born!
Louis: Tres bien! I think that should about do it for Raven’s backstory, so let’s list out some of her accomplishments and then get to the interesting stuff: Powers, Strengths, and Weaknesses.
Edward: Of course, since Teen Titans has had a good long run (5 seasons and 1 special) we’re only going to list what we consider Raven’s finest achievements.
Feats: * Became a founding member of the original Teen Titans
* Helped Cyborg and Beast Boy escape her mind while fending off her father Trigon.
* Taught Starfire to use her powers while the latter taught Raven to use hers.
* Accidentally turned the entire Titans Tower into a nightmarish haunted house.
* With Terra’s help, prevented the Titans Tower from plunging into the ocean.
* Tapped into Robin’s mind to break his delusion of his Slade attacking him.
* Destroyed her father Trigon once and for all and rescued the entire universe from being a Hellish wasteland.
* Resisted every temptation to break Beast Boy’s neck for his antics
Beast Boy: (Reads the last line) WHAT!? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? RAVEN NEVER THOUGHT I WAS ANNOYING!!!
Louis: You snuck into her room, touched her mirror and went screwing around inside her head. I’m amazed she hasn’t thrown your green ass off the roof of the Tower by now.
Beast Boy: That was an accident! And besides, her happy side told me I was funny!
Louis: And how many times have you seen Raven ha–?
Edward: (Snaps fingers)
Louis: (Mouth magically zips shut)Hmmmph!?
Mage: (Turns to Beast Boy) Moving on?
Beast Boy: Uh, right! Raven’s powers!
Soul-Self:
* Raven can project her soul, using it as a weapon. * Azaroth Metrion Zinthos: Incantation used to gather and focus her powers. * Can use her soul for physical attacks, telekinesis, telepathy, and dimensional travel. * Her soul-self can take any physical form. * Can be used to alter Raven’s size and appearance. * Can infiltrate her enemies’ minds and either calm them down or give them crippling mental trauma.
Telekinesis: * Raven instills a small part of her soul-self into any object or person ** This allows her to lift and throw extremely large, heavy objects. ** Often lifts vehicles, mounds of rubble, or boulders. ** Usually possesses inanimate objects rather than people
Physical Soul Constructs: * Like how Green Lantern can with his ring, Raven turn her soul-self into any shape or object. * Often used to make protective shields * Can fire small bolts or a long streams of black energy. * She can also use it to create objects like giant razor blades, claws, or platforms.
Dimensional Travel: * Raven can teleport herself and others anywhere, including Azaroth. * Can avoid damage by teleporting short distances. * Also phases through doors or walls. * Raven often uses portals to teleport.
Empathy: * Raven can deeply sense the thoughts and emotions of others. ** This can be used to examine whether or not someone is mentally healthy. ** Entered Robin’s mind to heal him and prove that Slade wasn’t real. * She can heal herself moderately by entering a calm state or heal others by absorbing their pain. * Can see into the future to an extent
Levitation: * Raven can use telekinesis on herself to fly.
Edward: Well, I like Raven already! All of her powers are magic. She has no need for barbaric weapons like swords or guns…unlike someone I know.
Louis: (Flips off Edward)
Edward: So uncivilized. \Beast Boy, you’ve been a great help at describing Raven’s standard powers, but does she have any other, special powers or attributes about her?
Beast Boy: Oh, totally! See, as I mentioned before, Raven’s powers are all emotion-based. She has to constantly keep her feelings in balance, or she could become a danger to herself and everyone around her. Well…more so than usual. When me and Cyborg accidentally went inside Raven’s head, we found that there live several different…”Ravens”…that all live inside her head and wear a different colored cloak, each representing her emotions.
Edward: I see. So it’s kind of like her version of Inside Out.
Beast Boy: I guess you could say that, yeah. But for the sake of this fight, we’re gonna focus on her two most powerful sides.
Alternate States:
Red Raven (Rage): * Raven’s most dangerous and destructive form. * The embodiment of Raven’s fury and hate, passed down from her father, Trigon. * Raven goes into this state when Trigon’s evil consumes her mind. * Usually seen with four glowing red eyes. * Raven suppresses this state daily through meditation. * Her physical and psychic powers are increased, but at the cost of her sanity.
White Raven (Perfect Balance): * Raven’s final, most powerful form. * She goes into this state when she’s in perfect harmony with all of her emotions * Raven’s suit turns pure white, representing her full acceptance of herself and her willingness to protect her friends. * First appears in “Nevermore”, where Raven’s emotions unite and successfully suppress her Rage state. * Famously used in “The End: Part 3” to destroy Trigon once and for all and restore all life to the entire universe. * Increases all of Raven’s powers…without making her lose her sanity.
Edward: Excellent! Well, I think that about sums up all of Raven’s powers and strengths. Wouldn’t you agree, Knight?
Louis: (Angrily points at his lips, which are still shut)
Edward: Oh, right. (Snaps fingers)
Louist: (Lips reopen) —SHOVE MY SWORD SO FAR UP YOUR ASS IT’LL COME OUT YOUR…oh.
Edward: Are you done yet?
Louis: T’es rien qu’un petit connard, Ed.
Edward: Since I don’t speak French, I’m going to assume that means “you’re a wonderful person, Ed” and move on.
Knight: Haven’t you ever heard of Google Translate?
Edward: Anyway! Beast Boy, you’ve been a tremendous help at covering all the catagories for Raven, and now we’ve just one more to ask: weaknesses. Does Raven have any major flaws in her character or fighting style that Shanoa could take advantage of?
Beast Boy: Well…
Weaknesses * Not very durable. Can only withstand so many hits before she goes down for good. * Tends to prefer using her environment or outwitting her opponent than attacking directly. ** Can fight up close, but isn’t nearly as skilled as say, Robin or Cyborg. * Raven’s greatest weakness. She is under constant pressure to resist her father’s hold on her mind. When she gives into fury, she loses all control over her powers and sanity and attacks like a mindless, bloodthirsty monster.
Beast Boy: Still, all that being said, there’s not a single doubt in my mind that my girl’s gonna kick Shanoa’s–
???: BEEEEEEEEEAST BOOOOOOOOOOOOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Beast Boy: Wh-what the!?
Damn you, Beast Boy! Have you been talking about my past? With these…strangers!? (Raven fanart by freekarasunoninja)
Beast Boy: (Nervously) Now Ray, please! Just listen, these guys told me to do it for this show called Death Battle, and they need all the info–
Raven: SHUT UP!!! Did I not say what would happen to you if you ever spoke about my past or Trigon with anyone!?
Louis: Oh, merde! Ed, get us out of this room now, before Raven nukes our whole existence!
Edward: A-aye! (Snaps fingers and spellbook appears)Come on, come on! Teleportation!
Raven: Metrion… (Hands glow with dark energy)
Beast Boy: Dude, hurry it up! She’s gonna kill us!
Edward: (Frantically flipping through pages) I’m going as fast as I bloody ca–oh, wait! Here it is!
Raven: ZINTHOS!!! (Fires a black energy beam from her hands)
Louis: NOW, EDWARD!!!
Mage: Teleportavimas!
(Knight, Mage, and Beast Boy all vanish from the room)
(“You may have created me…but you were never my father. Fathers are kind! Fathers protect you! Fathers raise you! I was protected by the Monks of Azaroth; I was raised by my friends. They are my family, this is my home, and you are not welcome here! Azaroth Metrion Zinthos!” –Raven’s final words to Trigon before destroying him for good)
Edward: Nay, we’re fine. I warped us into the next analysis room, so we can start our briefing on Shanoa.
Knight: Great work, mon ami–wait a minute! Where’s Beast Boy!?
(Inside Raven’s mind)
(Beast Boy is trapped on an empty platform floating above a bottomless pit. He is surrounded by Raven’s clones, all staring at him angrily. Beast Boy turns into a turtle and hides beneath his shell.)
Beast Boy: This is gonna suck. Horribly.
Louis: (Bows his head) Poor, poor Beast Boy. C’est la vie! No time to mourn the dead! Let’s get started on Shanoa!
Shanoa: Alias: The Morning Sun Day of Birth: Between late 18th and 19th centuries Age: 20 (as of Order of Ecclesia) Birthplace: Unknown (possibly Wallachia.) Race: Human Height: N/A Weight: N/A Affiliation: The Order of Ecclesia Theme Song:
Edward: Wait, weren’t we supposed to have someone do this part of the Prelude with us?
Knight: …….Yeah, you’re right. Where is he–
(Barlowe teleports into the analysis room)
Barlowe: Greetings, friends. I’m truly honored to be invited on this show. I know we’ve met, but allow me to reintroduce myself: my name is Barlowe–scholar, sorceror, and founder of the Order of Ecclesia.
Edward: (Shaking Barlowe’s hand) Outstanding! It’s always a great pleasure to meet a fellow practitioner of magic!
Louis: (Scoffs) Magnifique, just what we need. Another Harry Potter wannabee who’s too scared to handle a swo–
(Lou notices Edward about to snap his fingers.)
Louis: (Draws his sword) Shut my mouth again, and I’ll take your head as a hunting trophy!
Edward: (Indignant) How dare you…
Barlowe: Gentlemen, no need for violence! Aren’t we here to discuss my student?
Edward: My apologies. You’re right. So, Master Barlowe, what can you tell us about our second contestant, Shanoa?
Barlowe: It all began long ago in the early years of the 19th Century. The Belmont clan–responsible for protecting mankind against Dracula’s evil forces–had all but disappeared. Without an heir to fight him, Dracula’s power slowly returned, drowning all of Europe in evil and chaos. In the Belmonts’ place arose several church-funded organizations sworn to destroy the Vampire Lord permanently. One such organization was my Order of Ecclesia, which held the remains of Dracula’s body while performing endless research to destroy it. Within my research, I eventually discovered Dominus, an ancient and terrible power that, in the right hands, could put an end to the vile king once and for all.
Mage: I see. And what does all this have to do with Shanoa?
Barlowe: When she was young, I adopted Shanoa and raised her to become one of our finest warriors. Thoughout years of training, she surpassed every one of her colleagues, save her childhood friend, Albus. However, Shanoa possessed a unique gift that became our most powerful weapon. Shanoa can absorb magical runes called “Glyphs”, which allow her to wield any sort of weapons or magic spell she needs. For this reason, I chose Shanoa to be the bearer of Dominus, with which she would use to annihilate Dracula once and for all. However, fate took a cruel turn for my student. Albus, grew jealous that he was not chosen to wield Dominus and sabotaged the ritual that would’ve allowed her to use it. This treacherous act robbed Shanoa of not only her powers, but even her memories and emotions. With Dracula’s power slowly returning, I was left with no choice but to send Shanoa on a dangerous quest to destroy evil while working to recover her powers and memories.
Edward: And thus began the story of Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia. My, what a fascinating and engaging backstory! Wouldn’t you agree, Knight?
Louis: ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…………………………(Wakes up) Wh-what? The backstory’s done? Mon Dieu, the orientation for this job was less boring tha–.
Mage: MOVING ON!!!
Feats * Is the only person capable of wielding the Dominus Glyph. * Defeats ghosts, demons, zombies, werewolves, and gigantic monsters on a regular basis. * Rescued the entire population of of Wygol Village (depending on the player’s actions). * Defeated her childhood friend Albus in a one-on-one duel. (Albus was roughly as powerful as Shanoa herself) * Fought and explored her way through Dracula’s entire castle. * Ultimately defeated Dracula himself and sealed him away once more. * Is borderline OP in the fighting game spinoff, Castlevania: Judgement.
Edward: So, Master Barlowe–
Barlowe: Please, just call me “Barlowe”.
Edward: Barlowe, what can you tell us about your student in terms of her powers and abilities?
Barlowe: Shanoa has more than earned her place amongst Ecclesia. She is still the most powerful warrior and sorceress I’ve ever seen!
Glyph Magic: *Glyphs are magic, floating runes that Shanoa absorbs into her skin via three tattoos (two on her forearms and one on her back). * Most of the Glyphs Shanoa finds come from fallen enemies who already possess the power their particular Glyph represents. ** (i.e., Sword enemies have Sword Glyphs; Archer enemies have Bow Glyphs) * These Glyphs allow Shanoa to use a wide variety of weapons, including swords, lances, knives, axes, bows, hammers, sickles, and shields. * They also give her multiple elemental powers, including fire, water, earth, wind, lightning…and basically everything else. * Her two “arm” Glyphs are for weapons or magic powers while her “back” Glyphs are used for support powers, including flight, health/strength regen, and other powers. * Shanoa can also perform “Glyph Unions”, which combines two different Glyphs to create a single, more powerful attack.
Louis: (Happily) Swords!? Bows!? Lances!? Knives!? See, Ed? There’s nothing “barbaric” about using weapons in a fight!
Edward: She still needs magic in order to wield them.
Louis: But at least she’s not afraid to fight her enemy up close…like a real warrior!
Mage: (Angrily) You arrogant bast–
Barlowe: Gentlemen! Settle down, please! Now, while my student has an masterful knowledge of magic and elemental spells, she tends to prefer eliminating her foes up close using physical weapons. Well…depending on how you play Order of Ecclesia.
Louis: Aha! What did I tell you, Eddy?
Edward: Bloody hell, fine! (Groans loudly) Soooooooo….Barlowe, what other powers does your student have that can give her an advantage against Raven?
Barlowe: Without a single doubt, Shanoa’s greatest–and most dangerous–powers are her Dominus Glyphs, the very same powers used by Lord Dracula himself.
Edward: Wait…WHAT!?
Barlowe: That is correct. The three Dominus Glyphs–Hatred, Anger, and Agony— are all based on some of Dracula’s fearsome powers. They are the only ones capable of destroying him for good.
Louis: So, basically your plan is to kill Dracula by using his own powers against him?
Barlowe: Precisely.
Louis: Bien! I always did love the idea of using your opponent’s weapon against them!
Edward: If it works, do it I suppose.
Dominus Glyphs: * Shanoa’s most powerful Glyphs, each one a copy of Dracula’s powers. * The three forms are Dominus Anger, Hatred, and Agony. * Each one can obliterate an entire room full of enemies. * Eachhas an attack power of 66. * Were used to defeat Dracula in the final boss level of Order of Ecclesia.
* Dominus Hatred: ** Summons several pillars of light, which then shower the floor surrounding Shanoa. ** Shanoa shouts “Light, fall like rain!” while performing this. * Dominus Anger: ** Also known as “Dark Inferno.” ** Fires a cluster of energy surrounding Shanoa. ** For footage, please watch the above video by SatanitusLord.
* Dominus Agony: ** The only support Dominus Glyph. ** Shrouds Shanoa in Dracula’s magic, dramatically increasing her strength, intelligence, constitution, and magic resistance (mind).
* Glyph Union: ** Summons a large,hellish inferno that engulfs and kills everything onscreen. ** Its power level is OVER 9000!!!
Finishing Move: Glyph of Gales: * Ultra move from Castlevania: Judgement **…Just watch the GIF here, or YuuGiJoou’s video above (3:11).
Barlowe: However, those who wield Dominus must pay a terrible price. Because it is borne of Dracula’s dark power, Dominus slowly consumes its wielder’s mind and body, until they themselves turn insane and violent. Such was the case of my poor student Albus, who lost his mind to the Dominus power he stole.
Edward: Such a shame.A weapon that’s just as dangerous to you as it is to the opponent.
Barlowe: Indeed. Fortunately, Shanoa is the only person immune to the maddening effects of Dominus…but therein lies another problem. Shanoa must use this power very cautiously, as each use of it slowly drains her health. If she uses any Dominus power one too many times, it will kill her, and if she uses its Glyph Union attack, it will destroy her instantly.
Louis: Talk about a double-edged sword! Why would anyone want a power that can potentially kill you upon use!? I take back what I said; I’d rather fight Dracula with my sword and shield. At least if I die, I’ll know it wasn’t because of my weapons.
Edward: Oh, if only………if only. Anyway, to wrap this up, what other weaknesses does your student have?
Barlowe: Well, not many, but they can prove quite troublesome for Shanoa if they are exploited.
Weaknesses: * Shanoa cannot afford to take too many hits. If her opponent is powerful, they could potentially knock her out in four to five hits. * Uses little defense and prefers rushing towards her enemy with weapons or magic. * Shanoa’s Glyph magic consumes energy and needs to recharge each time. ** Fortunately, that only takes a few seconds. * Glyph Unions consume Hearts, which can’t recharge and have to constantly be replaced. * The Dominus Glyph: ** Takes away 1/6 of Shanoa’s health with each use. ** Glyph Union will kill her instantly! *** Must only be used as an absolute last resort!
Barlowe: Still, there’s not a single shred of doubt in my mind that Shanoa will be more than a match for this “Raven.” She is still the greatest student, warrior, and vampire hunter the Order of Ecclesia has to offer. She is truly “The morning sun come to vanquish the horrible night!”
Edward: Fantastic, Master Barlowe! Louis and I truly appreciate you taking this time to share your knowledge of our second contestant! Well, I think that should about do it for this Prelude. To all readers, thank you and stay tuned to witness the epic Death Battle between Raven and–
(A portal opens up at the ceiling. Beast Boy falls through, screaming. He lands face-first on the floor with a “SPLAT!” as an angry voice echos through the portal.)
Raven: I went easy on you this time! Next time you talk about my past, I’ll kill you!
(The portal closes up. Beast Boy lifts from the floor, his face covered in large, horrible bruises and scars.)
Louis: Beast Boy, mon ami! I didn’t think I’d get to see you alive! It’s so great that you’re back!
Beast Boy:………………………..
Edward: Good grief, what happened to you? You look like you just lost a fight with the Incredible Hulk! Beast Boy?
Beast Boy: (Seething) You guys…….are so gonna get it!!!
Louis: What? L-listen! Just calm down–we didn’t think Raven would–
Beast Boy: (Laughing sinisterly) Sorry guys, but unfortunately for you………..I WATCHED JURASSIC WORLD!!! (Turns into the Indominus Rex)
Louis: Oh, for God’s sakes! Why does this keep happening to us!? Ed, end the goddamn show NOW!!!
Edward: Uh, s-stay tuned to watch the epic battle between Raven and Shanoa, coming soon to Death Batt–
*CHOMP!!!*
Edward: (Narrowly avoids getting bitten) Shite! Let’s get out of here now!
(Louis and Ed run for the exit as Beast Boy stomps towards them)
Barlowe: (Chuckles quietly)What a funny pair they are.
(“Hear me, Dracula! I am the morning sun, come to vanquish this horrible night!”–) (Shanoa vowing to defeat Dracula, no matter the cost)
Tanner: All right! The combatants are set, the data has been analyzed, and the conclusion has been reached! Let’s get this mission underway! Miss Hunnigan, would you please do the honors?
Hunnigan: Absolutely, Mr. Tanner! Ahem–IT’S TIME FOR A DEATH BAAATTTTTTLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(DING!)
OPENING MOVIE:
Abandoned Umbrella Research Facility Wugai Mountain, China 10:17 PM
Beneath the moonlit skies of China stood a long abandoned building that was one of the Umbrella Corporation’s many research facilities. The walls were covered in graffiti written in Mandarin, and several of its windows were smashed in. At the top of the building stood its logo–an octagon made of red and white triangles– which suffered years of rust and barely hanged on to its support.
During Umbrella’s heyday, the building would’ve been patrolled by hundreds of mercenaries, and its scientists would still creating more abominations to serve the corporation’s agenda. But since their bankruptcy in 2003, all of Umbrella’s corporate, paramilitary, and scientific buildings were shut down and its “projects” discontinued.
Alas, the Wugai Mountain Research Facility stood as a pathetic, hollow shell of its former self, completely devoid of human life…until tonight.
A silver Aston Martin crashed through the iron fence! The stunning European car screeched to a halt, and its engine went silent.
The driver stepped out, sporting an elegant black tuxedo with a white, buttoned shirt and a navy-blue tie. He had dark, amber-blonde hair that was neatly cut short and his face was cleanly shaven. The man’s most striking features were his blue, soul-piercing eyes that burned with fierce determination and ruthlessness. This was a man on a mission. He reached into his pocket and called on his smartphone.
“Bond to MI6. I’ve reached the old Umbrella facility. I’m in pursuit of the target now.”
“Very good, 007.” replied Bill Tanner, one of MI6’s Chiefs of Staff. “As intel reports, Umbrella’s staff had left this complex for quite some time, and all security systems have been shut down. You shouldn’t need to worry about anybody but the target, but some of the corporation’s leftover BOWs might still linger. As always, you should expect the unexpected. Good hunting, 007.”
“Understood. Bond out.”
The MI6 sent 007 to assassinate an American named Leon Scott Kennedy, a rogue DSO operative who went off to China to the derelict Umbrella facility against orders. Fearing the media bombardment that Kennedy’s desertion could cause, the DSO requested MI6 to hunt Kennedy down and either apprehend or kill him at once.
Bond wasn’t impressed by the selfish, cowardly ass-covering of American bureaucrats, but it didn’t matter. He had a mission, and he would see it to the end. The British agent pulled out his silenced Walther P99 pistol and made his way into the building.
“I hope I get this job with over with soon. I’d promised to take that nice girl in Shanghai to dinner this weekend.”
Leon was all alone, wandering through the forgotten tomb that was Umbrella’s laboratory.
Like Bond, Leon also sported dark, amber-blond hair only his was much longer, with the right side of his face concealed by a bang. He wore a light gray T-shirt sporting several holsters with two guns and a knife, and an equally gray pair of pants holding another gun holster on his right hip. Leon also had steely blue eyes that revealed a sense of courage, but also compassion. He too was a man on a mission.
Years of fighting zombies and BOWs had taught Leon to be prepared for the worst. He carefully held his Silver Ghost pistol in front of him, using its flashlight to scan the walls and floors around him. His flashlight revealed a ghastly sight–dozens of dead, butchered mercenaries scattered all across the floor. The floors and walls were stained with dried blood, various limbs and organs littered the ground, and the soldiers’ faces were permanently twisted in expressions of agony and terror. Leon was deeply disturbed–not only by the deaths of these men, but also by his worries of what had killed them so brutally.
“These corpses…they’re way too fresh to be here before Umbrella’s fall. And the walls–there’s bullet holes everywhere. And claw marks covered in blood. These men were fighting something, and it tore them apart. What the Hell did Umbrella make here?”
Suddenly, Leon’s earpiece crackled to life.
“Leon, are you sure about this?” A young woman’s voice spoke to him fearfully. “You know the DSO’s policy on going AWOL. By now, the government’s probably sent someone to take you out! Hell, I’m putting myselfin hot water just by helping you! Besides, even if you do find something in there, what are the odds that you’ll survive?”
“Hunnigan, relax.” Leon replied. “I’ve been away from headquarters for weeks. If the DSO’d wanted me dead, they would’ve sent someone after me by now. Besides, think about all the BOWs I’ve killed years before. I’ll manage…somehow.”
Hunnigan sighed deeply. “Alright Leon. But you watch your ass out there, you hear me? You’re still taking me to dinner this Saturday, remember?”
Leon chuckled, “I’ll be sure to come by with flowers and chocolates. Leon out.”
However, as Leon continued walking, he could hear someone else’s footsteps growing louder from behind. Little by little, he was getting the feeling that he was being followed. The rogue agent cautiously pulled his gun back and peeked over his left shoulder. Maybe Hunnigan’s fears were justified after all.
The MI6 agent was a few feet away from his target. With silenced P99 in hand, Bond aimed carefully at his prey’s skull. But before he could take the shot, Leon quickly turned and pointed his pistol at Bond! The blonde Brit instinctively ducked behind a wall just half a second before Leon could fire.
“Who the hell are you!? Why are you following me?” Leon roared through the hall.The British agent turned away from the wall and pointed his gun at Leon. He figured he might as well answer Leon, since there was no one else within a hundred miles.
“The name’s Bond. James Bond.”
“You don’t look like you’re here for small talk.” Said Leon. Who’s sent you out for my head?”
“I don’t think that’s important now, is it?” Bond replied. “All that matters is that my orders are to either capture or eliminate you.”
Bond stared at Leon with the same cold, dispassionate gaze he gave all his enemies. He had no personal quarrel against Leon, but he did have a mission. and he was going to accomplish it one way or another.
Tension filled the air as the Star of MI6 and the Hero of Raccoon City stared each other down. Before this night was over, there was gonna be one more corpse entombed in this lab.
Bond fired the first two shots, which Leon instantly avoided. The American fired back, but Bond merely crouched back against the wall, avoiding harm. The Brit fired three more shots, one of which grazed Leon’s right arm. Fighting back the pain, the DSO agent took cover behind a supply crate.
Leon kept firing at Bond’s position hoping to at least pin him down. His plan was working; Bond was forced to stay in cover, but he wasn’t bothered. He was waiting patiently for Leon to reload. When he heard Leon’s magazine hit the floor, it was time to move. Bond noticed a light fixture hanging over Leon’s head and shot the wire holding it. The American looked up…”Shit!”
Press to roll
The good news: Leon avoided the fixture that crashed onto the floor. The bad news: he was now out of cover. The British assassin shot rapidly at his prey, but Leon deftly rolled away from the gunfire. Leon decided to fall back and find better cover–he ran deeper into the facility, reloading his gun along the way.
The two agents ran into the darkness, taking rapid potshots at each other. As Leon got farther, he started to notice his shots were getting less and less accurate. The DSO agent cursed himself; he forgot how inaccurate the Silver Ghost was at long range. Leon managed to graze his pursuer’s right cheek and torso, but it didn’t slow him down. The Brit wasn’t having it easy either; the constant sprinting and dodging bullets barely gave him any time to aim.
Eventually the zombie hunter reached an intersection and hid behind the wall on his left. 007 stopped and took cover to the right. The two agents quickly reloaded their guns and resumed their duel. It became a Western-style standoff, with each fighter clinging tightly to his cover, peeking out only to fire. Despite their efforts, neither Bond nor Leon could score a decent hit on each other. This was a waste of time and ammo.
Frustrated, Bond loaded his last clip for the P99. He noticed an old red steam and blasted a hole in it, causing blistering hot steam to pour into Leon’s face. Reeling in pain, Leon dropped his gun, and now was 007’s chance to strike. He fired twice –both shots hit home. Leon yelped and clutched the two bloody wounds in his abdomen. He needed to slow this crazy Brit down now. Falling back, Leon pulled out one of his backup pistols–his “Wing Shooter”–and noticed an old fire extinguisher on his left. Thinking quickly, he rolled the object towards his enemy.
Press R2 to Fire
The extinguisher exploded like a grenade, trapping Bond in a blinding smokescreen. The American gave a satisfied smirk and continued his retreat.
007 coughed violently as he was engulfed in carbon dioxide. As he backed away, he felt a sharp, stinging pain in his left torso–a piece of shrapnel had knifed its way into him. It wasn’t deep enough to cause any major damage, but it still hurt like hell. Bond quickly pulled out the bloodstained shard and looked down the hall.
Now this American was pissing him off. “Bastard!” You can run and hide all you bloody like, but I will find you!” Before he moved on, the MI6 agent noticed a few dead mercenaries lying down the hall, each one holding rifles, sub-machineguns, and shotguns. It was Bond’s turn to smirk.
“If this Yank wants to play dirty, then so will I.”
The wounded American took shelter behind an upturned table in what seemed to be one of the facility’s office rooms. Leon treated his bullet holes with a small spray of medical herbs–a gift from his old friend, Claire Redfield. The medicine burned like hell and did little more than disinfect his wounds, but it was still better than nothing.
“God bless you, Claire.” He wheezed, as he peeked over his cover.
It looked like he’d lost the Brit…for now. Leon decided to use this time to investigate this new area. Inside the dark room were rows of office tables, each holding an old PC that looked like it hadn’t been turned on in years. Whatever information was stored on these computers might be related to whatever killed all those men near the entrance. Leon walked over to the closest computer and hit the power button…nothing happened.
“Damn.” He groaned. “That’s right–no power. And whatever information these computers had’s probably been purged a long time ago.”
On the right side of the keyboard, Leon noticed a humble office file containing a few records. The label on the front of the file read “Dr. Howard Cho”. Leon quickly glanced through the files–the majority was in Mandarin text he couldn’t read, but one page written in English drew his attention.
28 September, 2002 Dr. Cho, Howard Umbrella Wugai Mountain Research Facility
Today marks a momentous achievement for Umbrella Corporation! Using the data we’d recovered of the performance of the NE-a Type parasite used to create the Nemesis T-Type, we’ve successfully modified the parasite to be compatible with our latest experiment, Project Inferno.
This latest member of the Tyrant series will be superior to its predecessors in every regard, and once it is mass-produced, will increase Umbrella’s paramilitary might exponentially.
Though alone our Tyrants have been defeated by a few STARS agents, our enemies will not be able to destroy entire legions of our new BOWs.
All testing for Project Inferno begins at exactly 12:00PM tomorrow.
“Obedience Breeds Discipline, Discipline Breeds Unity, Unity Breeds Power, Power is Life.”
Leon shuddered. “Those bastards! So that’s what butchered all those mercenaries near the entrance. By the looks of things, those tests didn’t go so well.”
Suddenly, Leon heard some familiar footsteps rushing towards him.
“Aw, shit. Here we go again.”
Bond was back, and he was pissed off.
Wielding a UMP9 submachine gun, he raced into the data room and sprayed a hellstorm of lead at Leon.
The American dodged the gunfire and ducked behind his table. The MI6 agent took cover behind another computer desk and continued firing. The UMP9’s bullets drilled through Leon’s wooden table like tissue paper.
Leon pulled out both of his Wing Shooters and returned fire. Bond’s cover offered slightly more protection, but it wasn’t impervious either. Bullets from both sides screamed through the air as computers, tables, office chairs and work files were torn to shreds.
Before long, the DSO agent’s pistols had run out. “Dammit!” he hissed. Leon was helpless his cover was quickly torn down by Bond’s relentless fire.
“If I don’t find a new gun fast, I’m completely fu—-.”
Leon hissed as a stray bullet his his shoulder. He finally caught a lucky break when he noticed a long-dead Umbrella merc holding a Steyr TMP. Leon picked it up and fired as soon as he heard Bond reloading. The Steyr wasn’t as powerful or accurate as the UMP, but it didn’t matter at this close range.
Now it was 007’s turn to be in trouble. His cover crumbled down as Leon pounded it with bullets. Even worse, he was down to his last clip for the H&K. The British agent lifted the submachine gun over his head and blind-fired his last few bullets at Leon until it clicked.
Bond disposed of the no-empty UMP and, switched to a powerful AKM assault rifle. The 00 agent fired punishing shots at Leon’s failing cover. The American fired back, scoring two lucky hits at Bond’s right arm.
Staying here was hopeless. Leon needed to run now. The doorway was on Bond’s side of the office, making it impossible to run back into the hall. Fortunately, there was an emergency exit just a few feet behind Leon. The American raced through the fire exit and up a metal staircase leading to a narrow catwalk that bordered the outside of the complex.
His two bullet wounds stinging his arm, Bond tore off two strips of his shirt and used them as makeshift bandages. He then resumed his pursuit of Kennedy through the fire exit.
To say that 007 was getting “frustrated” would be an understatement. Between the exploding fire extinguisher, his bullet wounds, and this tiresome cat-and-mouse game, he was about ready to put a nice, big round right through Kennedy’s skull.
As he ran along the catwalk, 007 looked upwards and noticed that it was still deep into midnight approaching. How long had he been chasing this bloody American!?
“It doesn’t matter.” He told himself. “I willkill this bastard and finish this mission!”
Leon reached a corner on the catwalk and tried to slow Bond down by spraying bullets at him, but his TMP was useless at longer range. As 007 slowly gained foot, he looked through his ACOG scope and fired. Lucky for Leon, the AK had poor accuracy. Its bullets either pelted the ground or whistled right past him. The MI6 agent ditched the assault rifle and switched to a SPAS-12 shotgun. With only five shells to use, Bond had to make his shots count.
Even one hit from that shotgun would be deadly if Bond got close! The DSO agent took cover behind another corner and waited for his enemy to walk up. Ambushing and disarming Bond meant having to fight him hand-to-hand.
Press To Melee
Leon smacked Bond in the face and gripped the shotgun. Bond held onto his weapon and threw a punch at Leon’s face. The American took the punch and twisted Bond’s arms downward, causing the SPAS to fire a shot that missed Leon’s foot. Leon kneed Bond in the gut and elbowed him across the nose before finally twisting the SPAS off the catwalk. 007 angrily push-kicked Leon into the back railing, nearly tipping him over. Bond was down to his last weapon: his Walther PPK.
Leon retreated up a short flight of stairs at the end of the fire escape. He ended up on a large rooftop helipad on the far right section of the complex. To his left lay a discarded M9 Riot Shotgun with three unused shells. Leon loaded the shotgun, but Bond halted him, angrily pointing his gun at Leon. The two tired, wounded agents were left at another stalemate, each one pointing his weapon at the other.
Needless to say, Bond looked like hell. Aside from the wounds he already received, 007’s nose was left broken and bloody. But he was too pissed off at this point to think about his wounds. Killing Kennedy would come first.
“End of the line, Kennedy! You’re cornered! There’s no way out!”
Leon checked his surroundings for an escape route…his heart sank.
“Goddammit. He’s right. There’s no helicopter, no fire escape, no ladders, and the only way down’s a 50 foot drop onto hard asphalt. The only way out is the way we both came. Maybe I can try reasoning with this guy.”
“Listen, Bond!” Leon snapped back. “I don’t care who sent you to kill me! I’m not the enemy here! Umbrella’s made something in this building! Something big! Monstrous! You saw all those dead soldiers inside this facility, right? If you put your gun down, maybe we can–“
*BANG!*
007 only replied with a gunshot that knocked Leon’s Riot Gun out of his hands and far behind him.
“Great. So much for British diplomacy.”
The cornered DSO agent had only one weapon left–something he hadn’t used since his duel with Jack Krauser in Spain. He pulled out the combat knife from his the holster on his left shoulder and took a fighting stance. The wounded MI6 agent only smirked.
“So, he wants to make this up close and personal? Fine, as long as he won’t bloody run away like Trevelyan did.”
As they took their stances, each agent felt in his bones that this fight was coming to an end. This helipad was the perfect stage for their final round. The Star of MI6 and the Hero of Raccoon City stared at each other one last time, each daring the other to make the first attack.
James Bond:
Leon Kennedy:
Bond fired the first two shots, which Leon preemptively dodged. The American charged and kicked the gun out of Bond’s hands before slashing at his throat. Bond ducked and gave Leon a solid punch to the chest. Leon tanked the punch and grabbed Bond by the jacket, attempting to stab him in the shoulder. The 00 agent pushed back Leon’s arm and headbutted him before kicking him off.
Leon was caught off guard before Bond charged with a spinning back kick. Leon took the kick, but blocked the two punches that followed. The American backfisted Bond’s face before slashing him across the chest. 007 cried out as his chest drew blood, but it wasn’t the first time he’d been stabbed. 007 and Agent Kennedy battled ferociously, matching each other blow for blow.
Almost matching. As long as Leon had his knife, Bond was at a disadvantage.
The American agent lunged his knife, but Bond sidestepped and wrapped his arm around his foe’s. He then violently jerked Leon’s arm upwards, forcing him to drop the knife. Shouting in pain, Leon punched the Brit in the face multiple times until he let go and fell to the floor.
The DSO agent pinned Bond to the ground and threw multiple punches at him. The MI6 agent kept up his guard for as long as he could. Fortunately, his enemy’s knife was on the ground on the left within arm’s reach. 007 grabbed the knife and slashed Leon across the chest.
Leon doubled back, covering his bleeding knife wound. He was hurt, but it didn’t feel like his vital organs were hit. He would’ve laughed at the irony of being stabbed by his own knife if there wasn’t a crazy limey bastard ready to murder him.
007 charged in, slashing Leon from the right…
Tilt (Left) to Dodge
…Then from the left…
Tilt (Right) to Dodge
…Then from below…
Tilt (Down) to Dodge
…Before finally lunging forward.
Press ( +) to Backflip
The wounded DSO agent landed at the spot where his shotgun landed after Bond shot it. Leon picked up the weapon and pulled the trigger…but nothing happened. The weapon was too damaged to fire.
“Come on! Are you fucking kidding me!?”
Bond swung downward with his knife, but Leon blocked the attack with his shotgun. The American kicked the knife-wielding Brit away from him.
Wounded and desperate, Leon thought, “Alright. If I can’t fire this gun, I’ll just have to beat this asshole with it!”
Leon reached down and grabbed the Riot Gun by the barrel, holding it like a baseball bat. The American swung the weapon wildly as Bond only narrowly dodged each swing. Leon smacked the Brit across the face and forced him to the ground.
Dropping his now useless shotgun, Leon needed a new weapon. To his right lay his enemy’s Walther PPK. It had only been fired twice, so chances were it still had a few rounds left. Leon knew this was his last chance! The DSO agent quickly obtained the pistol and pointed it at his grounded enemy.
Bond was a sitting duck. He had no guns, cover, or first aid to keep him fighting. But strangely, instead of surrendering or retreating, the MI6 agent just…smirked.
“Fool. He doesn’t know about the safety feature.”
“So long, asshole!” Leon roared right before he pulled the trigger…but something was wrong. The trigger stood still. The gun wouldn’t fire.
The American let out a scream of pain as he felt a metal blade pierce his knee! 007 stood over, proud of himself for catching his enemy off-guard. The MI6 agent followed up with rapid slices across Leon’s face, arms, legs, and torso. The DSO agent cried out with each wound as his blood painted the knife and floor around him. Finally, the James ended his assault with a stab straight through Leon’s chest!
The American gasped violently as he felt the knife pierce his heart. He grabbed the knife that was embedded in his torso as he spat out heavy amounts of blood from his mouth. Leon’s breathing became slow and labored, and his vision constantly faded in and out. He was dying, and he knew it. This fight was truly over.
007 retrieved his Walther, ready to give Leon the coup de grace. He pointed his pistol at the defeated agent’s forehead, but decided to send him off with a few words before finishing him.
“Got some advice foe you, Kennedy.” Bond said as he smirked proudly. “Safety first.”
*CLICK!*
Leon let out a slight chuckle, and closed his eyes, waiting for the bullet.
*BANG!!!*
Leon Kennedy was dead.
His mission complete, the victorious 00 agent holstered his gun and pulled out his smartphone.
“Bond to MI6. This job’s done. Kennedy’s been eliminated. I repeat: Kennedy is eliminated.”
“Are you sure, 007?” Tanner replied from the other line. “Can you confirm it?”
“The bastard’s got a bloody knife in his chest and a hole through his head! You want me to write his obituary too!?”
“All right then, Bond! If Kennedy is dead, then your mission is complete. Return to MI6 Headquarters within 48 hours for your next assignment! Tanner out.”
And with that, Bond’s mission was finally over. He took one last look at Leon’s corpse before heading off the helipad. Seconds later, the pain from his multiple wounds returned.
“I better find me a hell of a masseuse when I get back to Shanghai.”
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hunnigan: “Nooooooooooooooooo! Leoooooooooon! Bond, you murdering bastard! How could you!? Leon was going to take me out on a romantic evening!!!”
Tanner: (Groans loudly) Will you BE QUIET!?!? Don’t forget, we spent weeks analyzing this data! You knew how this match would turn out from the very start! Don’t pretend you didn’t!
Hunnigan: (Panting slowly) You’re right. You’re right. So…as painful as it is for me to say, Bond triumphed in the end.
Tanner: Indeed. But, it was a very close between him and Leon. Both agents were a near-perfect match in marksmanship, tactics, and close quarter combat. However, there was one crucial factor Bond had with him that helped him win this fight.
Hunnigan: That factor is experience. Though his career was fairly short, 007’s spent more time fighting against armed, trained, disciplined foes like Leon. He’s used to fighting enemies with roughly equal skill, intelligence, and endurance as him, including two bomb-makers, a group of African guerilla fighters, a turncoat MI6 agent, and a small army of armed henchmen.
Tanner: “But Leon’s beaten things far more powerful than Bond”, you say? Yes, he has. But therein lies the problem. Agent Kennedy’s spent most of his career fighting zombies and BOWs. Zombies are slow and stupid, and BOWs (for the most part) aren’t even human. They aren’t capable of having the same level of physical endurance or careful, strategic planning of a living human being. Of course, Leon has occasionally dueled trained, intelligent foes such as Jack Krauser and Chris Redfield, but has limited experience otherwise. For Bond, this was a pretty typical (if extremely difficult) mission, while for Leon, it was fairly new territory.
Hunnigan: Add in the fact that the Walther PPK’s palm print reader caught Leon off guard just long enough for Bond to deliver the final blow.
Tanner: Overall, Leon clearly needed this match like a hole in the head.
THE WINNER IS…
…BOND. JAMES BOND.
FINAL RESULTS:
James: ( = ) Excellent marksman, especially with pistol ( = ) Able to match Leon’s tactical thinking and melee skills ( + ) More experienced against with opponents on equal level
Leon: ( = ) Excellent marksman, especially with pistol ( + ) Resourceful ( = ) Matched Bond’s hand-to-hand skills, especially with knife ( – ) More experienced against zombies and BOWs than with human agents
EPILOGUE:
Tired, wounded, and on the verge of collapsing, James barely had the energy to walk back to his car. He found a flight of stairs around the edge of the building that led to the Umbrella facility’s front entrance. The Aston Martin was still where it was parked, loyally waiting for its driver to return.
007’s battle with Kennedy had left him with several bruises and bleeding cuts, a broken nose, and a tattered business suit that cost him 500 British Pounds. That alone would be trouble enough, but compounding it was the fact it was still nighttime, and James was deep in the rural parts of China. The nearest hospital or gas station was over a hundred away, and the road ahead was blindingly dark, with only the moon and Aston Martin’s headlights for illumination. Even the car’s GPS was useless due to the poor reception the place offered.
All James had to treat his wounds with was a first aid kid that was stashed in the glove compartment. “Still, better than nothing.” He thought bitterly. James’ best course of action for now was to treat his wounds as best he could, rest until dawn, and drive his way to the nearest town on the way to Shanghai. The tired 007 limped to the driver’s side and opened the door.
Unfortunately for James, his earlier fight with Leon was only the start of a long, brutal night. Right before he stepped inside the car, he felt a strange rumbling beneath his feet. The sensation seemed to come from inside the Umbrella research facility. The noise grew louder and more chaotic with each second. It felt as if a runaway bulldozer was plowing its way through the whole building! A heavy, queasy feeling was forming in the pit of James’ stomach. He didn’t know what, but something had gone seriously wrong.
What happened next could only be described as a nightmare. A massive wall was broken through the entrance of the facility! Bond took cover behind his car door as bits of concrete, metal, and glass showered in all directions. The agent looked up, mouth and eyes wide in shock and terror.
The person–no, the creature–that stood before him was nothing short of a monster. The creature easily stood roughly seven or eight feet tall. Its body was mostly dull gray like a decaying corpse, but its upper torso was brown and hard like sandstone. Its muscular arms ended with massive hands with frighteningly long and sharp claws that could tear into an elephant. The creature’s face was a hollow stare, displaying neither joy, nor sorrow, nor hatred or fear. Nevertheless, James could feel the monster’s insatiable urge to destroy and murder.
James instinctively pulled his pistol and fired at the beast, only for the bullets to bounce off the monster like harmless coins. The creature seemed to give no reaction, as if it was never even shot.
As Bond continued aiming his weapon, despite now knowing how useless it was. James Bond, 007 himself, who ran dozens of life-threatening missions in Her Majesty’s Secret Service, taking down criminal organizations and fanatical terrorists for much of his life–felt an emotion he hadn’t in years. Fear. Pure, unadulterated fear.
“My God.” The hapless James thought. “Kennedy was right! He was right all along!” He was now faced with the very thing Leon warned him about. The creature growled quietly. Without a word, it slowly stomped towards James with mindless bloodlust in its eyes.
007 immediately got in the car and drove out of the facility. The car’s headlights illuminated the path ahead, which was uncomfortably rocky and hidden by trees. The monster quickly chased after Bond with a speed easily matching his Aston Martin.
James looked at his rearview mirror as the monster chased him. Clearly outrunning it would do him little good. He’d have to use the car’s built in weapons to stop it! The 007 agent activated the machine guns hidden behind the rear license plate. The monster finally got close, ready to pierce the metal car with its fearsome claws! The machine guns spun up, ready to open fire.
“If I live through this,” 007 thought. “Both MI6 and the Yanks are gonna have a lot of explaining to do!”
ALTERNATE ENDING COMING SOON!
WHAT HAPPENS IF JAMES SPARES LEON AND THE TWO TAKE ON THE BOW TOGETHER?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!
FELLOW NERDS, GEEKS AND FANBOYS OF ALL WALKS OF LIFE!
WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO…….
THE ARKHAM DEATH BATTLE ARENA!!! (ADBA for short)
Hello, readers! I’m your humble host, Arhkam500. I’m a lifelong gaming, film, anime/manga, and animation fan.
I’m also a member of the DeviantArt Death Battle writing community. But like most of my friends, I was turned off by DA’s recent “update” that stupidly removed the Sta.sh Writer feature, which many of us used to write and publish our works. So, we decided to turn to more reliable websites to write our battles on.
So from here on out, this WordPress site will be my go-to channel to publish all my past and future Death Battles, One Minute Melees, DBXs, and other works.
But don’t worry–I have no intention of shutting down my DA page (at least for now). It is where I cut my teeth as a writer, and I don’t want it to go away just yet.
And feel free to visit my old page by clicking the link that are posted at the bottom. You can also find my Facebook, Twitter, and Discord accounts below or on the sidebar beneath the menu bar.
Without further ado, let’s shut the f*ck up and get into the action!
Tanner: Secret agents. Spies. Assassins. For centuries, these covert warriors have left an unforgettable presence in both history and fiction for mixing classy charm and charisma with deadly ruthlessness and efficiency.
Hunnigan: And being irresistibly suave and sexy doesn’t hurt either.
Tanner: And the two agents we’ve assigned for this mission: James Bond, the MI6 agent famous for pioneering the spy genre…
Hunnigan: And Leon Scott Kennedy, the zombie-killing badass famous for surviving Raccoon City, saving the President’s daughter, and defeating entire countries of flesh-eating zombies!
I’m Bill Tanner, MI6’s Chief of Staff.
And I’m Ingrid Hunnigan, Leon’s handler at the DSO.
Hunnigan: And it’s our job to analyze these two agents’ weapons, skills, and tactics to find out who would win… a DEATH BATTLE!!!
James Bond: Codename: 007 Age: 52 (as of No Time To Die) DOB: April 13, 1968 Nationality: United Kingdom Height: 5’ 10 (1.7m) Weight: 160lbs. (72kg) Affiliation: MI6 Theme Music:
Tanner: (Attempting Sean Connery impression) Ahem! His name is Bond. James Bond.
Hunnigan: (Nervous groan) Uh, Tanner, you might want to work on that impression a little bit.
Tanner: Whatever. Anyway… James Bond is a man who needs little introduction—he’s a titan of modern film, literature, and even gaming. Since his grand introduction in the 1953 novel, “Casino Royale”, Bond has made an indelible mark on spy fiction. Bond has been portrayed by six actors, across a franchise lasting twenty-three movies, forty-one novels, and twenty-one video games. His influence is still felt today.
Hunnigan: That influence doesn’t feel quite as good if you were in that garbage that was Die Another Day.
Tanner: This coming from someone who was featured in that bloody catastrophe that was Resident Evil 6?
Hunnigan: I TOLD YOU NEVER TO BRING THAT U–(Sigh). Anyway, the 007 franchise is known for its use of I mean “gadgets”, but in the interest of fairness, we’ll be limiting the type of MI6 hardware Bond will be equipped with to his guns. Any gadgets–will only serve as utilities to aid Bond instead of actual weapons. For the fight itself, he’ll have only his guns, brawn, and wits to rely on. Furthermore, we believe that the best Bond candidate to fight someone like Leon is the modern, gritty, realistic Bond, Daniel Craig. This also means that we’ll only use the canon established by both the novels and the Craig series, including the movies Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace, Skyfall, Spectre, No Time To Die, and all games released during that period.
Tanner: With all that said, let’s discuss how our golden boy came to be. James was orphaned at a young age when both of his parents died in a mountain climbing accident in Switzerland. Alone and traumatized, he lived much of his with his Scottish uncle at Skyfall Lodge. At age seventeen, Bond joined the Britannia Royal Naval College before he was recruited into of MI6. One of James’ first missions was sent to eliminate Dryden, a rogue MI6 agent who was selling secrets to our enemies. Dryden’s death allowed Bond to be promoted to “Double-O” status, giving him the coveted “license to kill”. Thus setting off the events of Casino Royale and the rest of the Daniel Craig series.
Hunnigan: And plenty 007/M and 007/Q fanfics along the way. What? Don’t believe me? Google it!
Tanner: (Stares at her with concern) Anyway…to cap off this rather short backstory, let’s list off agent Bond’s achievements while in “007” status.
FEATS: * Assassinated the traitorous Section Chief Dryden and his contact. * Pursued a bomb-maker throughout Madagascar. * Prevented another bomb-maker from blowing up the Skyfleet S570 prototype airplane in Miami. * Eliminated two LRA soldiers who were threatening “Le Chiffre” for the loss of their money. * Pursued and killed Mitchell, a traitorous MI6 agent who was a double agent for Quantum. * Captured and interrogated Quantum executive Dominic Greene. * Destroyed a massive chemical weapons facility beneath a dam in Arkhanhelsk. * Infiltrated a Goldeneye tracking facility in Severnaya, Russia. * Rampaged through St. Petersburg in a stolen tank while pursuing General Omurov. * Defended Natalya from Janus troops as she worked to destabilize the Goldeneye. * Survived being accidentally shot by Moneypenny and falling off a bridge and into a river. * Defeated hired assassin Patrice in Shanghai, China. * Alongside M and Kincaide, battled against dozens of henchmen led by Raoul Silva at Skyfall. * Hijacked a SPECTRE helicopter in mid-air and kicked out the pilots
Tanner: As one can see, 007’s had quite the storied career, in ten-or-so years.
Hunnigan: Things are certainly never boring when he’s around! Anyway, with all that tedious backstory now finally out of the way, let’s take a look at the fun stuff: his Weapons and Strengths!
Tanner: As a 00, Bond is trained to use a wide variety of firearms, but for the sake of this fight, we will only equip him with his most familiar weapons.
WEAPONS:
Walther PPK: * German-produced * Semi-automatic * Magazine: 7 rounds (9mm.) * Also can be fitted with a silencer * Safety mechanism set to recognize Bond’s palm print—only he can fire it. ** “Less of a random killing machine, more of a personal statement.” * Appearance(s): Quantum of Solace; Skyfall * Considered to be Bond’s most famous gun.
Walther P99: * German-produced * Semi-automatic * Magazine: 16 rounds (9 x 19mm.) * Can be fitted with a silencer; used in stealth missions * Appearances: Casino Royale; Quantum of Solace; Goldeneye Wii/Reloaded; Skyfall * Typically Bond’s other weapon of choice.
HK UMP9: * German-produced Fire modes: Semi; Full Auto; 2-3 Round Burst Magazine: 30 rounds (9 x 19mm); 25 rounds (.45 ACP) Used famously to incapacitate Mr. White in the final scene of Casino Royale Appearance: Casino Royale
AKM: Fire modes: Semi; Full Auto Magazine: 30 rounds (7.62 x 39) Descendant of the AK-47 Does moderate damage and has high range and rate of fire. However, has mediocre accuracy. Comes fitted with a tactical rail, allowing for any scope to be attached. Appearance: Goldeneye Wii/Reloaded
SPAS-12: Fire modes: Semi; Pump-Action Capacity: 5-8 rounds (12 gauge) Comes with collapsible stock, which will help against recoil and increase accuracy. Appearance: Goldeneye Wii/Reloaded
Tanner: Of course, Bond didn’t become a “00” simply by blasting holes in other people.
Hunnigan: Although it did help in the case with Dryden.
Trophy Unlocked: “The Second Is–“
Tanner: I suppose technically, but I’m going somewhere with this. What I mean is, he also relies on his physical endurance and close-quarter fighting ability to keep himself alive.
STRENGTHS: * Attained peak physical performance due to Royal Navy training. * Master of Judo, Aikido, Brazilian Jujitsu, Filipino Eskrima, and Krav Maga. ** Won a brutal fight against Dryden’s contact in the beginning of Casino Royale. * Constantly suffers falls, cuts, gunshots, and torture by Le Chiffre, and still able to carry on. * Extremely accurate with 9mm pistols, sub-machinguns, assault rifles, and sniper rifles. Can wipe out several men without wasting a shot. Tends to prefer 9mm’s. * Can disarm a knife-wielding opponent, as seen in Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace. * Knows all major arteries and veins of the human body and can kill or paralyze opponent by slicing them. * Known to use environmental hazards and deathtraps to kill his enemies. Killed the hired terrorist in Miami by strapping the bomb to his waist. * Thinks tactically and knows when to kill or knock out an enemy without being detected. ** Managed to sneak into Dryden’s office in Casino Royale without being detected. * Can pull off difficult headshots without being seen (with a silenced weapon).
BOND’S MISSIONS:
Hunnigan: Not bad. Clearly, this is one agent you don’t want to tangle with.
Tanner: Indeed. He is without a doubt the finest that MI6 has to offer, which says a lot given our high standards. Still, I’m afraid still got his fair share of weaknesses that can be his detriment in this fight.
WEAKNESSES: * Tends to defy orders and make careless mistakes. ** Shot the bomb-maker against orders, causing public embarrassment for MI6. ** Hijacked a helicopter in Mexico City, putting hundreds of civilians at risk. * Nearly killed by poisoned drink and only saved by Vesper Lynd. * Left in a wheelchair for several days after surviving Le Chiffre’s torture. * Accuracy and endurance have slightly diminished due to age and old wounds.
Tanner: All that said, Bond didn’t become a Double-O for nothing. He’s more than earned his position amongst MI6, and he’s had an outstanding (if imperfect) career for over a decade!
Hunnigan: Still, will he prove to stand toe-to-toe against Agent Kennedy? Let’s find out!
BONUS VIDEO:
LEON SCOTT KENNEDY Age: 36 (as of Resident Evil 6) DOB: 1977 (day and month classified) Nationality: United States Height: 5’10 (1.7m) Weight: 155lb. (70.2kg.) Affiliation: RPD (formerly); US Gov’t (formerly); DSO (currently) Theme Song:
Hunnigan: (Rubs herself amourously)Ohhhhhh…Leon.
Tanner: Uhhhh, Miss Hunnigan?
Hunnigan: Oh, yes, Leon! Hold me with those manly arms of yours! You big, sexy—
Tanner: MISS HUNNIGAN! THE SCRIPT!
Hunnigan: (Blushes) Oh, my God! Ahem—yes! The script! We’re discussing—Leon’s backstory!
Tanner: (Facepalms) What on Earth am I gonna do with you?
Hunnigan: (Clears throat) So! Leon Kennedy’s first appearance was in Resident Evil 2 (or the 2019 remake if you’ve played that), during the horrendous Raccoon City Incident, where the sinister Umbrella Corporation released the deadly T-Virus into the city, turning its entire populace into mindless, flesh-eating zombies.
Tanner: Kind of like that TV show you Yanks like—The Walking Dead?
Hunnigan: Sort of, except with a much hotter male protagonist (Get at me Daryl fans!). Anyway, Leon was just a rookie cop in the Raccoon City Police Department, and it was to be his first day on the job. (Embarrassed) But, he was late for his
Tanner: Typical of you Yanks. Always showing up late to every war.
Hunnigan: (Annoyed growl) Ironically, sleeping in was what saved Leon’s life. If he had shown up to the police station on time, he would’ve become a zombie like the rest of them! Then, we wouldn’t have a Death Battle, would we?
Tanner: Alright, alright! You’ve made your point! Moving on!
Leon escaped the catastrophe of Raccoon City, and before long, gained the interest of the US Government for his skills. Long story short, Leon was—ahem—“encouraged” to join the government as its newest secret agent, so long as he keeps his knowledge of the Raccoon City Incident secret.
Tanner: Not much of a secret if everyone in the bloody planet knows abou—(Hunnigan slaps him.)
Hunnigan: (Gritting teeth) Shut. Up. Anyway, throughout the years since Leon’s enlistment, he’s almost-singlehandedly wiped out hundreds of zombies, BOWs, and bioterrorists without suffering so much as ruining his hair…ooooohhhhh, his perfect majestic hair—Tanner: MISS HUNNIGAN!Hunnigan: Right! Right! Well, before I drag on this backstory too much, allow me to round off Leon’s numerous accomplishments in the field, counting only the main canon games that he’s appeared in.
FEATS * Graduated from the Raccoon City Police Academy * Is one of the few Raccoon City residents to avoid the G-Virus: ** Only because he overslept………dumbass. -_- * Turned out a pretty competent fighter even though it was only his first day as a cop * Saved fellow survivor Claire Redfield and teamed up with her * Rescued Sherry Birkin, the daughter of Umbrella scientist William Birkin * Defeated several enormous BOWs, including the Tyrant T-103 and the mutated William Birkin. * Fought his way through insane members of the Los Iluminados cult * Defeated El Gigante, Del Lago, and a mutated Ramon Salazar. * Defeated former ally Jack Krauser in a one-on-one knife fight * Destroyed the deranged bioterrorist cult Los Illuminados * Rescued Ashley Graham, the daughter of the US President * Trained a squad of SRT agents how to effectively kill zombies * Helped Claire and agent Angela Miller escape an airport full of BOWs * Assisted in taking down Curtis Miller, who infected himself with the G-Virus * Survived being alone in a civil war in the Eastern Slav Republic * Managed to keep his cover when he was interrogated by ESR soldiers * Eliminated the “Las Plagas” virus that was used to kill the country’s civilians * Saved the ESR soldier “Buddy” by shooting his spinal cord: ** This however left Buddy crippled for life. * Saved fellow agent Helena Harper from a zombified President Adam Benford * Escaped with agent Helena from the overrun college in Tall Oaks * Survived against Helena’s mutated sister Debra * Fought BSAA Captain Chris Redfield to a standstill. * Destroyed the mutated Derek C. Simmons, the main antagonist of Resident Evil 6.
Tanner: I thought you didn’t want to talk about Resident Evil 6 anymore.
Hunnigan: I don’t, but unfortunately, it’s part of the research. Anyway, Leon didn’t become a US agent based on his divinely good looks and charm . He’s always had a trusty weapon at his side to help him put lead in anyone who dares screws with him!
WEAPONS: Silver Ghost: * Semi-Automatic * Magazine: 15 rounds (9mm.) * Can be fitted with silencer * Based on the H&K USP and S&W Sigma. * Custom model: Five times more likely to pull off a headshot than most handguns. * Inaccurate and unstable: difficult to use at mid-to-long range. * Appearance: Resident Evil 4
Wing Shooter/Matilda: * Semi-Automatic * Magazine: 18 rounds (9mm) * Based on the H&K VP70 * Leon occasionally wields two of these. * Accurate and has large capacity, but somewhat weak. * Dual-wielding increases power, but reduces accuracy. * Appearance: Resident Evil 4; Resident Evil 6; RE2 Remake
Steyr TMP: * Fire Modes: Semi, Full-Auto * Magazine: 15-30 rounds (9mm) * Hip-firing results in poor accuracy. * Can be fitted with foregrip, butt stock, and laser sight for greater accuracy and recoil control. * Appearance: Resident Evil 4
Benelli Super 90 (“Riot Gun”): * Fire Modes: Semi; Pump-Action * Capacity: 3-7 shells (12 gauge) * Spreads pellets tightly, resulting in greater accuracy and range than most shotguns. * Appearance: Resident Evil 4
Combat Knife: * Leon is an expert at knife combat. * Strictly close-quarters weapon (duh). Typically only used as last-resort weapon. * Used to defeat Jack Krauser in a one-on-one knife duel.
Hunnigan: Of course, Agent Kennedy wouldn’t be half the amazing, immaculate demigod of a man he is now if he only relied on his weapons. He has many personal attributes that have kept him alive–and still impossibly handsome today.
Tanner: (Groans) Blind fangirlism aside, Leon does have several strengths that qualify him as an agent resulting both from his years in the service and his courage and wit.
Strengths & Abilities: * Agile enough to avoid laser tripwires and enemy attacks; fast enough to outrun a giant boulder. * Able to land headshots from almost fifty yards away without missing. * Consistently thinks his way out of most situations in little time. * Has survived devastating punches from giant BOWs like the Super Tyrant and the mutated Curtis Miller. * Can instinctively detect anyone attempting to sneak up on him. Ada Wong admits that he’s “practically a genius”. * Has defeated Jack Krauser in a knife duel; briefly fought Chris Redfield to a draw.
Expert marksman: * Able to land headshots from almost fifty yards away without missing * Can duel-wield weapons Black Lagoon style * Can use heavy, explosive weapons just as easily as normal firearms * Successfully threw his knife into Ramon Salazar’s hand, impaling it
Resourceful: * Consistently thinks his way out of most situations in record time. * Has solved several puzzles and challenges along his adventures
Incredible resilience: * Has survived devastating punches from giant BOWs like the Super Tyrant and the mutated Curtis Miller. * Survived being needled by an Iron Maiden zombie (though not without damage)
Keen intelligence and intuition: * Can instinctively detect anyone attempting to sneak up on him * Ada Wong admits that he’s “practically a genius”
Capable one-on-one fighter: * Defeated Jack Krauser in a knife duel * Briefly fought Chris Redfield to a draw.
Probably Resident Evil’s most shipped male character: * His harem includes Claire, Ada, Angela, Manuela, Hunnigan, Ashley, and Helena * Some even pair him with other men like Chris or Wesker
Outstanding in bed: * DAMMIT, HUNNIGAN!!!
Tanner: “Outstanding in–” (Facepalms) You put in that last part, didn’t you?
Hunnigan: (Smiles mischievously).
Tanner: Well, despite Hunnigan’s…enthusiasm…Mr. Kennedy is not without his shortcomings.
Hunnigan: (Reluctant sigh) Yeah. As absolutely, unbelievably perfect a man Leon is, he still has some very minor, totally insignificant flaws.
Weaknesses: Usually has at least one partner at his side: * Not used to handling missions on his own. Endurance has limits: * Almost always needs first aid when wounded Limited experience fighting normal opponents: * Mostly fought zombies and crazed cultists. * Occasionally fought living, trained opponents like Krauser, Redfield, or Svetlana. Human limitations: * Can be overpowered by larger opponents or killed by bullets.
Tanner: Still, Agent Kennedy’s strengths far outweigh his weaknesses, and he may yet prove to be a match for 007. So, let’s see what happens when the Hero of Raccoon City meets the Star of MI6, eh Ms. Hunnigan?
(Break)
Tanner: Ms. Hunnigan? Oh for God’s–
Hunnigan: (Blushing) Wh-what? What is it, Tann—
Tanner: You weren’t just looking up fanart of yourself and Leon in some perverted setting, were you?
Hunnigan: WHAT!? No! Why would you think—
Tanner: It’s on. Your bloody. Smartphone.
Hunnigan: (Hides her phone behind her back) How dare you! Eavesdropping on a lady’s—Uh…That’s all the time we have for this Prelude! Please tune in next time to see the exciting battle between James Bond and Leon Kennedy! Thank you, gotta go! Bye! (Quickly bolts through the exit).
Tanner: (Long sigh). American women.
BONUS VIDEO!!!
(“Let’s take a break. Because it looks like it’s gonna be a long night.”)
ADA WONG!!!
Hiro Takeda (Player 2)
Edward Elvis (Player 2)
: 
: Because I told you to!
: I’ll kill you if you don’t!
: Say nothing.
: Why should I if you won’t tell me?
: I need it too!
: No way in Hell! [Draw revolver]
(Fight art commission by 
To Melee
![Bill Tanner [Rory Kinnear] is M's assistant and husband of Ellis ...](https://i0.wp.com/i.pinimg.com/originals/05/61/98/056198e8af11ebf9984e164db56ff3d3.jpg?resize=447%2C298&ssl=1)
