Edward: Let’s start this off with a question: Why are we so obsessed with zombies? Is it some deep-rooted fear we have about life after death? Is it a concept that challenges our idea of what defines us as humans? Or maybe it’s a study into the fear and paranoia people have when faced with the unknown?
Louis: Oooooooorrrr….maybe people just love watching zombies get their heads blown off?
Louis: (Laughs) See!? Wasn’t that awesome!?
Edward: Whatever floats your sick, sick boat, Louis. Anyway, zombies and undead mutants have been an iconic figure in Horror as much werewolves or vampires. Through countless movies, TV shows, and novels, these mindless, undead terrors have both terrified and fascinated the public conscious to the point that we can’t stop bloody talking about them.
Louis: And video games are certainly no exception. Whether you’re exploring the Arklay Mansion in Resident Evil, surviving the apocalypse in The Walking Dead, or sending Nazi Zombies back to Hell in Call of Duty, players will always find joy in massacring zombies.
Edward: Which is why this Death Battle will be a duel between two of the most beloved zombie shooters: Capcom’s Resident Evil and SEGA’s House of the Dead. However, we’ll also do something that’s rarely seen in Death Battle.
Louis: That’s right! Our first-ever 2 vs 1 battle! Starring…….
Leon Kennedy and Claire Redfield, the heroic couple of Resident Evil 2.
And their opponent…..
The Magician, the most infamous boss of The House of the Dead.
As always dear readers, I’m the Red Mage, Edward Elvis!
And I’m the Blue Knight, Louis LeVainquer!
Louis: And joining us this time are…….(Reads the memo and looks terrified) Oh God, noooooo!
Edward: What? Who is it?
Louis: (With dread) Ingrid Hunnigan.
Edward: Oh, no! Not that bloody–
(Ingrid barges into the interview room and smiles)
HIIIIIIIIII!!!!! So glad to be a part of this after so long! So, when do we start talking about my darling Leon?
Edward: (Whispers to Louis) Of all the people you could’ve picked–
Louis: This wasn’t my idea, dickhead! (Sighs) And standing in for The Magician is Daniel Curien, the son Dr. Roy Curien, who created the Magician.
Good evening, Mr. LeVainquer, Mr. Elvis. It’s an honor to be invited to this show.
Edward: My, he’s a polite one. But now…
Louis: In this modern David and Goliath story, will the two heroic humans destroy the monster, or will they perish and join the ranks of the undead?
Edward: There’s only one way to determine the winner, and you all know what that is.
Louis: With……..a DEATH BATTLE!!!
(Ding!)
ATTENTION!
Edward: Hello? I know this is sudden, but we want to give a quick note before starting this Prelude. Since this episode will be a two-on-one battle, we agreed that it was best to bend the rules a little bit.
Louis: First of all, our smart, handsome, and muscular author made two bios for Leon and Claire (and you’ll find their full bios in the description below.)
Edward: (Scoffs) However, to save time and go through both characters at once, we combined certain parts of both their bios in the same segment. Thus, we’ll be talking about Leon and Claire as if they were one character, not two individuals. However, we’ll go through the Magician’s bio normally, without any major alterations.
Louis: Also, the battle will be a House of the Dead-style boss fight. So, the two RE characters will only get their basic sidearms as their weapons.
Edward: It may seem strange to some that we’re purposely handicapping the two, but don’t worry. There IS a reason for it. You’ll understand once we get to the Magician.
Louis: Leon has RPGs that one-hit-kill bosses for God’s sake! How can the Magician stand against that!?
Edward: But with all that said–ladies and gentlemen, let’s take a look at the two heroes of Resident Evil 2!
Leon Scott Kennedy & Claire Redfield:
Ages: 36 [Leon]; 32 [Claire]
Born: 1977 [Leon]; circa 1979 [Claire]
Nationality: American
Height: 5’10 (170cm.) [Leon]; 5’6 (169cm.) [Claire]
Weight: 155lb. (70.2kg.) [Leon]; 116lb. (52.4kg.) [Claire]
Occupation: US Gov’t Agent [Leon]; Human Rights Activist [Claire]
Affiliation: Division of Security Operations [Leon]; TerraSave [Claire]
Theme Song:
Louis: (Fils de pute. Of all the people we could be interviewing we got Leon’s crazy fangirl.)
Edward: (Let’s get this over with, fast.) So……Miss Hunnigan, It’s a pleasure to have you with us once again.
Ingrid: (Ecstatic) I know, right!? Can you believe it’s been like what? Three years since Bond vs Leon? I can’t believe it’s been that long already!
Louis: That’s true! Ed and I weren’t even official hosts yet! You and Mr. Tanner did the interview while we did the story, script and analysis. Glad it was such a success, or we wouldn’t have kept this job!
Edward: Speaking of which, how is Mr. Tanner? Did you keep in touch with him?
Ingrid: We Skype from time to time. He’s still working at MI6; said that they’re planning the next James Bond movie in 2021. Meanwhile, I’m still slaving away at the FOS HQ in rainy Seattle….(Blushes, having a perverted fantasy)….dreaming of the day when Leon breaks into my office, tears off my clothes, and brings his lips down to my pus–
Louis & Edward: STOOOOOOOP!!!
Louis: With respect, ma’am, this is a Death Battle Prelude, not a horny fanfic on ArchiveOfOurOwn. Could we stay focused, please?
Ingrid: (Blushes harder) Ehh…..sorry. What do you want me to talk about first?
Edward: Could you please start by telling us Leon and Claire’s backstory, and their history together?
Ingrid: Alright. (Adjusts glasses) Leon’s story began on the night of September 30, 1998–the night of the infamous G-Virus plague on Raccoon City. Leon–then a rookie cop for the local police department–missed his first day on the job.
Louis: Because he was so drunk from the night before that he passed in bed the next day! Not exactly a good way to start a new job that requires you to be sober!
Edward: Aye, but ironically, being drunk is what saved his life.
Ingrid: Indeed. The night when he woke up and realized he was late, Leon put on his uniform and rushed down to Raccoon City–only to find the whole town in flames and the populace turned into zombies! Confused and terrified, Leon was found with no backup, no escape route, and hundreds of zombies ready to tear him apart. That is, until……….that bitch showed up. (With obvious disdain.)
Louis: (Oh, here we go.)
Edward: (Bloody Hell.) And I suppose the “bitch” you’re referring to is Claire Redfield?
Ingrid: (Looks away in a huff) Who else could I be talking about? She’s nothing special–just a stupid ginger skank obsessed with motorcycles who isn’t worth Leon’s–
Louis: HUNNIGAN!!! For God’s sake, can you please get over your infatuation with Leon until this show’s over?
Edward: (THANK you, Louis!)
Ingrid: (Sighs)…..Claire Redfield was a civilian college student searching for her older brother Chris, a member of the Swift Tactical and Rescue Service (STARS). Unfortunately for her, the town was already engulfed in the G-Virus epidemic the moment she got there. Like Leon, she got swept up in the chaos, with her brother nowhere to be found.
Louis: Now, that’s better!
Edward: Let’s get to the part where Leon and Claire’s stories intersect. How did they end up meeting each other?
Ingrid: Leon and Claire randomly bumped into each other after being chased by attacking zombies. To each other’s surprise, they both turned out to be pretty handy in a fight–Leon due to his police training, and Claire due her private lessons with her brother. Naturally the two teamed up, and went on a zombie-murdering crusade to the Raccoon City Police Department in search of Claire’s brother.
Edward: But they never found him, did they?
Ingrid: No, which was probably a good thing. Chris Redfield already left Raccoon City weeks before the incident on a quest to take down Umbrella. But the people they found instead were they found were a frightened 9-year-old girl named Sherry Birkin, and a female spy named Ada Wong.
Louis: Ah, Ada. I remember kicking her ass as Black Widow in a match of One Minute Melee. We actually turned that into our first DBX episode!
Edward: And then Hiro got angry at you for winning. The two of were about to turn the place into a shooting gallery until my sister cast that friendship spell on you.
Louis: (Deeply embarrassed) Ugh, can we please not talk about that?
Ingrid: Aaaaanyway, Leon and Claire followed Sherry into the Raccoon City sewers, where they met the girl’s mother and father. But it wasn’t exactly a happy reunion–not when both her parents were the two Umbrella scientists responsible for creating the G-Virus. Even worse, Sherry’s father Dr. William Birkin already injected himself with a potent strain of the virus, turning himself into a giant monster.
Edward: Good Lord! With parents like that, it’s no wonder Sherry chose to run away!
Louis: No kidding. Still, I’d say having Leon and Claire as surrogate parents is a pretty good trade-off.
Ingrid: And as if things couldn’t get any worse, Sherry herself became infected with the G-virus, forcing Leon and Claire to find a vaccine before it kills her. Fortunately, they manage to create said vaccine and deliver it to Sherry courtesy of her mom, Annette. But to make a veeeeery long story short, the trio found an underground train and rode it out of the Umbrella lab, destroying the mutant Dr. Birkin along the way. Freed from danger at last, the three Raccoon City survivors parted ways. Leon decided to look after Sherry, while Claire resumed her journey to find her brother.
Edward: The two would later find themselves in more adventures of their own.
Louis: But those are stories for another time. I just want to move on to their Feats and Weapons, already.
Edward: Always the impatient one…
Shared Feats:
* Before they met, each used their respective training to take down several attacking zombies
* Killed literal armies of zombies and BOWs throughout Raccoon City
* Rescued Sherry Birkin from the overrun Raccoon City Police Dept.
* Discovered Chris Redfield’s diary, which revealed that he was investigating Umbrella in Europe
* Killed a giant, T-virus mutated alligator
* Outran and eventually killed the T-00 and the mutated Dr. William Birkin
* Became two of the few survivors of Raccoon City:
** Alongside Sherry Birkin, Jill Valentine, Carlos Oliviera, and Ada Wong
* With agent Angela Miller, escaped an airport full of zombies and BOWs
* Assisted in taking down Curtis Miller, who infected himself with the G-Virus
Individual Feats:
Leon:
* Graduated from the Raccoon City Police Academy
* Is one of the few Raccoon City residents to avoid the G-Virus:
** Only because he overslept………dumbass
* Turned out a pretty competent fighter even though it was only his first day as a cop
* Saved fellow survivor Claire Redfield and teamed up with her
* Rescued Sherry Birkin, the daughter of Umbrella scientist William Birkin
* Defeated several enormous BOWs, including the Tyrant T-103 and the mutated William Birkin.
* Became one of the few survivors of Raccoon City:
** Alongside Claire Redfield, Sherry Birkin, Jill Valentine, Carlos Oliviera, and Ada Wong
* Fought his way through village after village of insane, murderous members of a fanatical cult, Los Illuminados
* Defeated giant monsters and BOWs, including El Gigante, Del Lago, and a mutated Ramon Salazar.
* Defeated former ally Jack Krauser in a one-on-one knife fight
* Destroyed the deranged bioterrorist cult Los Illuminados
* Rescued Ashley Graham, the daughter of the US President
* Trained a squad of SRT agents how to effectively kill zombies
* Helped Claire and agent Angela Miller escape an airport full of BOWs
* Assisted in taking down Curtis Miller, who infected himself with the G-Virus
* Survived being alone in a civil war in the Eastern Slav Republic
* Managed to keep his cover when he was interrogated by ESR soldiers
* Eliminated the “Las Plagas” virus that was used to kill the country’s civilians
* Saved the ESR soldier “Buddy” from getting infected himself by shooting his spinal cord:
** This however, left Buddy crippled for life.
* Saved fellow DSO agent Helena Harper from a zombified President Adam Benford
* Escaped with agent Helena Harper from the overrun college in Tall Oaks
* Survived against Helena’s mutated sister Debra
* Fought BSAA Captain Chris Redfield to a standstill.
* Destroyed the mutated Derek C. Simmons, the main antagonist of Resident Evil 6.
Claire:
* Was trained in martial arts and firearms by Chris Redfield, a US Air Force vet
* Killed literal armies of zombies and BOWs throughout Raccoon City
* Rescued Sherry Birkin from the overrun Raccoon City Police Dept.
* Discovered her brother’s diary, which revealed that he was investigating Umbrella in Europe
* Killed a giant, T-virus mutated alligator
* Outran and killed the T-00 and the mutated Dr. William Birkin
* Became one of the few survivors of Raccoon City:
** Alongside Leon Kennedy, Sherry Birkin, Jill Valentine, Carlos Oliviera, and Ada Wong
* Eluded several trained Umbrella security guards before she was finally caught
* Fought her way through a high-security prison full of zombified guards
* Dodged several sniper shots fired by Alfred Ashford
* Survived a plane crash into the South Pole
* Survived an Antarctic blizzard
* Finally reunited with her brother Chris after months of searching
* Killed a mutated Steve Burnside (Darkside)
* Killed Alexia Ashford after she self-mutated
* Rescued Moira Burton, Barry Burton’s daughter
Edward: Now as we mentioned before, we’ll be playing off this battle as an arcade-style boss fight, which means each character will only be allowed to use their basic pistols.
Louis: In other words, none of the cool stuff like Assault Rifles, Shotguns, RPGs or Grenade Launchers. (Scoffs) Admit it, Ed. You’re just doing it this way because you’re afraid of weapons.
Edward: WE’RE NOT HAVING THAT DISCUSSION AGAIN!!! So, Ms. Hunnigan, what weapons do you recommend our heroes use against the Magician?
Ingrid: If you’re looking for sidearms, there’s two that I can think of…
Weapons:
Silver Ghost:
* Leon’s weapon of choice
* Unknown producer (possibly custom-made)
* Firing Mode: Semi-Automatic
* Magazine: 15 rounds (9mm.)
* Can be fitted with silencer
* Based on the H&K USP and S&W Sigma.
* Custom model: Five times more likely to pull off a headshot than most handguns.
* Inaccurate and unstable: difficult to use at mid-to-long range.
* Appearance: Resident Evil 4
Browning Hi-Power:
* Claire’s weapon of choice
* US-produced
* Semi-Automatic
* Magazine: 13 rounds (9mm)
* Firing Range: 54.7yd (50m.)
* “Hi-Power” refers to its high magazine capacity.
* Claire found this pistol in a police car glove compartment while she was running from zombies
Louis: Those of you who haven’t played Resident Evil or House of the Dead may be thinking, “How the Hell can they expect to take on something like the Magician with just a pair of puny 9mms!?” Don’t worry, we’re getting to that.
Edward: But for now, let’s hear what these two have to offer in the fight besides their weapons. Ms. Hunnigan, what do you think are Leon and Claire’s greatest strengths as experienced zombie killers?
Louis: And don’t say something like “Leon’s good in bed.” We don’t need to hear any more of your sexual fantasies.
Ingrid: (Blushes) Alright, already! Sighs, yes. Throughout their adventures, Leon and Claire have spent years taking on all sorts of Bio-Organic Weapons that would obliterate most people. Their greatest strength was the unbreakable sense of trust and teamwork they had in each other. However, they also learned to fend for themselves as individuals. Separately, they’re a force to be reckoned with. But together, they’re unstoppable. Down below you’ll see Leon and Claire’s files, which describe each other’s strengths in more detail.
Strengths & Abilities:
Leon:
Peak physical conditioning:
* Avoided laser tripwires and enemy attacks
* Outran a giant boulder and a giant statue of Ramon Salazar
* Flipped Jack Krauser, who would easily weigh around 200lbs
* Strong enough to hold the combined weight of Angela and the mutant Curtis Miller
* Used a leg lock to prevent a Licker from killing him
Expert marksman:
* Able to land headshots from almost fifty yards away without missing
* Can duel-wield weapons Black Lagoon style
* Can use heavy, explosive weapons just as easily as normal firearms
* Successfully threw his knife into Ramon Salazar’s hand, impaling it
Resourceful:
* Consistently thinks his way out of most situations in record time.
* Has solved several puzzles and challenges along his adventures
Incredible resilience:
* Has survived devastating punches from giant BOWs like the Super Tyrant and the mutated Curtis Miller.
* Survived being needled by an Iron Maiden zombie (though not without damage)
Keen intelligence and intuition:
* Can instinctively detect anyone attempting to sneak up on him
* Ada Wong admits that he’s “practically a genius”
Capable one-on-one fighter:
* Defeated Jack Krauser in a knife duel
* Briefly fought Chris Redfield to a draw.
Possibly Resident Evil’s most shipped male character:
* His harem includes the likes of Claire, Ada, Angela, Manuela, Hunnigan, Ashley, and Helena
* Some even pair him with male characters like Chris or Wesker
Outstanding in bed:
* DAMMIT, HUNNIGAN!!!
Claire:
Peak physical condition:
** Was trained by Chris Redfield, who was trained in the US Air Force.
** Has spent entire nights fighting zombies and BOWs without tiring even once.
Excellent speed and reflexes:
* Outran Mr. X and the mutant Dr. Birkin
* Eluded several Umbrella soldiers until she was caught by a helicopter
* Dodged a sniper round fired by Alfred Ashford
Decent marksmanship:
* Killed Alfred with his own sniper rifle (only happens in Code: Veronica)
Creative and resourceful:
* Since she is a Resident Evil character, it’s safe to assume that she can solve puzzles and escape deathtraps fairly easily.
Fighting Ability:
* Thanks to Chris’ training, is adept with pretty much any weapon she comes across
* Killed a zombie by throwing a combat knife right into its chest
* Destroyed several people who were turned into BOWs, including Dr. Birkin, the Ashford Twins, Steve Burnside, and Curtis Miller
* Fought off numerous zombies at an airport
Other Skills:
* Apparently has some skill in lockpicking
* Somewhat skilled with computers
* Amazing ass, especially in jeans.
Ginger-haired Leon-stealing slut:
* Seriously, Ingrid!?
Together:
Teamwork:
* Place a great deal of trust and friendship in each other.
* Naturally makes them a very common pairing in the RE shipping community.
Edward: (Looks at Louis) Was it necessary to put the video with Claire’s arse on the list?
Louis: Nope! (Laughs out loud.)
Edward: (Scoffs) Alright, I’ll just let your girl Liliana know that there’s another woman that’s caught your attention. I’m sure she’d be very pleased to hear it.
Louis: Go ahead. She’s too busy competing in the NXT and the Mii Fighting League to even care!
Ingrid: (Mutters) Stupid sexy Claire in her True Religion jeans. We’ll see how hot she is when her apartment “accidentally” gets set on fire!
Louis: (Genuinely disturbed; whispers) Okay, she’s gone from crazy fangirl to full-blown Yandere! Let’s wrap this up and get her the Hell outta here!
Edward: (Nods) You’re right, mate! Ahem! So, we’ve covered the duo’s strongest points as a team, but what about their weaknesses? What weak points does each character have that could pose a problem against the Magician?
Ingrid: Surprisingly, not a whole lot.
Weaknesses:
(Since each character has roughly the same weaknesses, this will apply to both.)
Usually has at least one partner at their side:
* Neither is used to handling missions on their own.
** No longer an issue since they’ll be teamed up in this battle
Endurance has limits:
* Always need medicinal herbs or first-aid spray when wounded.
Limited experience fighting normal opponents:
* Spent most of their careers fighting mindless zombies and crazed cultists.
* Occasionally fought living opponents like Krauser, Redfield, or Svetlana
** No longer an issue since their opponent is a genetic monster
Human limitations:
* Can be overpowered by larger opponents or killed by bullets.
Ingrid: And while it isn’t listed here, Claire is almost never seen wearing any sort of protective gear, and usually fights in civilian clothing. Also, while physically she’s……….moderately impressive, she’s nowhere near as strong as her brother, BSAA Captain Chris Redfield. To compare, Chris was strong enough to move a large boulder several times bigger and heavier than him. Claire’s done nothing that comes close to that.
Louis: Still, if those are the only weaknesses these two have, I don’t think they have anything to worry about!
Edward: Especially since two of their weaknesses will be canceled out anyway. Well, Ms. Hunnigan, despite your earlier……misbehavior……you’ve been a valuable help in giving us enough information to work with for Leon and Claire. Thank you for taking the time again to interview with Death Battle again.
Louis: (Now please…PLEEEEEEASE get the Hell out of here!)
Ingrid: Aw thanks, guys! It was fun to be here again after so long! I’m hoping that Leon wins this time (but Claire can die in an oil fire.). Anyway, now I need to finish my fanfiction where Leon licks ice cream off my boobs!
Both: Wait, WHAT!?
Ingrid: BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! (She quickly bolts through the exit)
(Louis and Edward both breath a sigh of relief)
Louis: PHEW! Thank Jesus, She’s finally gone.
Edward: Good grief, I thought that woman was going to be the death of me. I never thought there’d be someone more annoying than you, Louis.
Louis: (Chuckles) Now you’re just making me jealous. By the way, should we warn Claire that Hunnigan plans to burn down her apartment?
Edward: Please, I doubt she’d actually do it. And if she does, Claire would survive and probably hunt Hunnigan down.
Louis: And we’d be all the happier for it. Anyway, call in the next guy!
(Sherry – “Are you guys like… boyfriend and girlfriend?)
(Leon – “No, we’re just… uh, we actually just met… last night?”)
(Claire – “Yeah… that would’ve been one helluva first date, though.”)
BONUS VIDEO!!!
(DING!)
Experiment Type-0:
* Codename: Magician
* Age: Appx. 5 years since first appearance
* Height: Unknown (Slightly taller than an average male human)
* Weight: Unknown
* Species: Zombie/Genetic Monster
* Gender: Genderless
* First Appearance: The House of the Dead (1996)
* Theme Song:
(Daniel Curien walks in the room, a polite smile on his face)
Louis: Bonsoir, Mr. Curien! It’s great to have you with us tonight! (Let’s hope he’s easier to deal with than Hunnigan.)
Edward: Please take a seat so we can begin discussing our next contestant!
Daniel: Thank you. It’s an honor to be called up to this show.
Edward: My, he’s polite. We might have an easier time after all!
Louis: We don’t have much time left, so let’s get this started! So Daniel, is there anything you can tell us about how the Magician was created, and why?
Daniel: It all began with the Curien Mansion Case of 1998. The man behind the creation of Type Zero–along with hundreds of other zombies–was none other than my father, Dr. Roy Curien. When I was ten years old, I was diagnosed with an incurable disease that was slowly killing me. As I spent weeks in bed slowly waiting for death, my father promised me that he would find a cure that would save me, even if it meant stepping into forbidden territory.
Louis: Jeez, we’re off to a great start, aren’t we?
Edward: The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
Daniel: My father managed to get his project funded by the DBR Corporation, allowing him to build an enormous lab beneath our house and even hire hundreds of scientists. They spent countless days at research, trying over and over to find a way to bring the dead back to life. But their work eventually paid off. Dad came into my room holding a strange vial in his hands. I still remember the hopeful look on his face. He told me that his creation would bring me back to life, and that I wouldn’t have to fear death ever again.
Edward: But the good times weren’t to last, were they?
Daniel: *Sighs*, unfortunately not. For a while, my dad became a hero to me, and I was excited that soon I would be saved from my disease. But over time, he became so obsessed his research that most of his staff called him insane and delusional, and some even abandoned him! This made my father so desperate that he began using his remaining staff as test subjects, turning them into zombies!
Edward: Good Lord, his scientists were right to leave him! I’m sorry if he’s your father, but the man’s completely daft!
Daniel: And it only got worse. One day my father barged into my room, raving about two new monsters he created that he believed would change the future–one of being the Type-0 Magician. I was horrified at the monster my father became because of his research, and feared what kind of Hell he’d unleash on the world.
Louis: Aaaaaaand this is where everything goes to shit!
Daniel: That’s…….one way of putting it. December 18, 1998–Curien released his army of zombies on the whole mansion to get revenge on the people who called him insane. Fortunately, two AMS agents named Thomas Rogan and “G” were called to investigate and rescue any surviving hostages. The two went through room after room killing my father’s abominations and eventually found their way into his underground lab. When they finally cornered him, Curien tried to take them down by releasing his masterpiece, the Magician. But he didn’t expect the Magician to have a mind of its own and betray him–a mistake that cost my father his life.
Louis: Seriously!? His own monster killed him!? You’d think he’d put some failsafes in that thing to make sure that doesn’t happen!
Edward: Curien wasn’t a very good scientist, was he?
Daniel: Anyway, Rogan and G battled the Magician and ultimately destroyed it. But before it died, the monster warned the two agents that they “haven’t seen anything yet,” and that there would be much worse to come years later. His warning came horribly true two years later, when a zombie outbreak occured in Venice, Italy. The man responsible for this incident was Caleb Goldman, who funded my father’s research. The Magician would appear again defending Goldman’s HQ from two other AMS agents, until it was defeated once again. It appeared one last time in 2003 following a much bigger outbreak, after two more agents accidentally revived it. Since then, there’ve been no known incidents where the Magician was released.
Louis: Talk about something that doesn’t know how to stay dead.
Edward: Indeed. But I believe that’s enough information about how our monster came to be. Shall we talk about what he can bring to battle now?
Daniel: No problem!
Feats:
* Dr. Curien referred to the Magician as his “masterpiece”
* Appeared in three games, making him the most recurring House of the Dead boss
* Opened Pandora’s Box in the (non-canon) bad ending of The House of the Dead 4: Special
* The Tarot Card he is based on is the first of the Four Heavenly Kings
* Capable of independent thought, as he killed his creator Dr. Roy Curien in defiance
* After being resurrected by Goldman, oversaw the creation of the Emperor
* Considered by fans to be the most challenging and memorable boss in the series
Louis: (Groans) Great. Now we have to talk about a monster that fights with magic? What does he do, wave a plastic wand around? Pull zombie rabbits out of a hat? Trap his enemies inside a box and saw them in half?……Actually that last part sounds awesome!
Edward: Ignore my foolish partner, Daniel. He has no appreciation for magic or science. But going back on topic, what exactly can your father’s creation do?
Daniel: The Magician was one of my dad’s proudest achievements before his death. He designed it to far surpass all his other zombies in speed, strength, and intelligence. It mainly attacks by using the fireballs generated from its hands. He can fire them directly at his target or shoot them into the air and rain down on top of them. He can also strike his enemy up close while charging a fireball in his hands. The Type-0 is also very intelligent. He knows that he has very weak defense, so he instead zooms around at near-supersonic speeds that make him unpredictable and harder to hit. Along with his intelligence, the Magician has a narcissistic personality. It believes that it’s superior to humans, which is why it refused to take orders from my dad. The only people it seems loyal to are the ones it finds useful. It also has a bone to pick against the AMS agents who killed it in the past, including Agent G, who killed him twice.
Louis: Jeez, talk about holding a grudge. Kind of reminds me of Jill and Revy, actually.
Edward: Those two are still angry at each other since their Death Battle and the remade version?
Louis: (Breaths heavily) You don’t want to know. Just mentioning Jill Valentine in front of Revy is enough for her to point her guns at you!
Edward: Good Lord! Well, I suppose it’s what one should expect from a hotheaded killer like her. But anyway, would you mind if we list what you’ve told us of the Magician’s powers down below?
Daniel: Sure, go ahead!
Strengths & Abilities:
Physicality:
* Has no notable strength feats
* At the very least, can harm humans
Speed:
* Can teleport and fly around at insanely fast speeds
* Uses his speed to catch his enemies off guard
* Fast enough to leave phantasms of himself when he moves
* His attack pattern usually consists of three warps and one attack. (ZOOM-ZOOM-ZOOM-BAM!)
Durability:
* Can take a significant amount of bullets to his weakpoints before dying
* Thick armor covers most of his body:
** Except for the PAINFULLY obvious weak spots on his forearms and shins
* A grenade was enough to kill him while he was weakened
Intelligence:
* Human-level intelligence:
** Refused to take orders from Dr. Curien, showing that he’s capable of independent thought
** Possibly telepathic comminication
** Knew what Pandora’s Box was capable of and tried to use it when he was cornered
** Uses strategy when he fights
** Always attacks at a distance to reduce chance of getting hit
* Has a twisted sense of loyalty:
** Betrayed his creator, but showed loyalty to the ones who revived him after his first death
** Seems to only show loyalty to those he finds useful
* Has a deep grudge against the AMS agents for all the times they defeated him
Pyrokinesis:
* Generates fireballs in his hands to throw or shoot at opponents:
** Also can charge and smack opponents with his fireballs
** Depending on the target, it can take one of these or several to kill a human
** Can also throw multiple fireballs in the air and rain them down
** Each fireball can be canceled out in midair by shooting them
Energy Tackle:
* A new move introduced in House of the Dead 4 Special
* Magician surrounds himself with purple energy and smashes into the opponent at high speeds
* Can only be canceled if the player shoots his weak spot enough times
Pandora’s Box:
* Magician’s last resort if it is defeated
* In the Bad Ending, is used to summon multiple clones of himself
* Can only be destroyed by explosives
(Edward looks distracted, like he’s deep in thought)
Louis: Ed?……Ed? (Snaps fingers) What’s the matter with you, Ed?
Edward: Ah, sorry! I just realized something. Remember when Hunnigan told us that the Raccoon City disaster happened in 1998?
Louis: Yeah. What about it?
Edward: The Curien Mansion case in this game happened in the same year, just a few months later. And both incidents in each game involved zombies, ancient mansions, evil corporations, underground labs, mad scientists, and their children. And a Raccoon City-like incident happened in House of the Dead just two years later.
Louis: (Scoffs) What is this, Game Theory now? Are you saying there’s some kind of connection between the two games?
Edward: I’m just saying it seems way too similar to be a coincidence. If anything, it provides a decent setup for a crossover.
Louis:…….Good point. SEGA! Capcom! I would play the shit out of an RE/HOTD crossover! MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!
Edward: (I should’ve just kept me mouth shut.) Well, we’ve had a grand time discussing what powers our Mr. Magician has, but we’re almost out of time. Let’s discuss the monster’s weaknesses. But I’m sure that it could prove quite a challange to kill it, considering that it’s your father’s masterpiece.
Daniel: Actually, it’s got some pretty severe flaws.
Weaknesses:
* Stupidly obvious weak points on its shins and forearms
* Killed quite easily be small arms fire
* Attacks can be disrupted if he’s hit enough times while doing them
* Ranged opponents are his Kryptonite:
** A big problem considering all of his enemies used guns
* Vulnerable while charging attacks
* In canon, has been beaten every time by teams of two agents
* Technically an unfinished prototype that was released prematurely
Edward: Now I see what you mean. For a so-called “masterpiece” it doesn’t seem all that spectacular.
Louis: Who the Hell releases their ultimate monster with half its weak points exposed!? No wonder it always gets killed!
Daniel: Like you said, my dad wasn’t the best when it came to fixing his mistakes. But even with its major weak points, the Magician was–and is–one of the most dangerous legacies my father left behind and the most infamous boss in the House of the Dead franchise.
Edward: It will be quite a show to watch when the two titanic zombie franchises clash! But that’s all the time we have for today! Thank you, Mr. Curien for joining us and telling us everything you know! It’s been a pleasure having you on our show!
Daniel: No problem! I’m honored to help you guys out with your episode! I hope it turns out well! Bye!
(Daniel leaves the interview room)
Louis: Well, all’s well that ends well! We got all the info we need on each fighter. Join us next time on Death Battle, where it’ll be all-out war between two of our favorite zombie shooter franchises!
Edward: Will the heroic duo of Leon and Claire survive their night with Curien’s creation, or will the Magician put on his greatest and deadliest show? Stay tuned to find out on our latest and most horrifying Death Battle episode, Resident Evil: Pandora’s Box!
(“Welcome, my AMS friends. I have been waiting for this moment for some time.
Now you shall have a taste of the pain that I have endured!”)
BONUS VIDEO!!!
