NOTE: Louis’ name is the French pronunciation (the “s” is silent).
(Twenty minutes before showtime; Louis waits impatiently at the door for Edward, who hasn’t shown up yet)
Louis: (On his phone) Where the hell are you, Ed!? You give me crap all the time for showing up late! The one time I show up ready, and you fly off back to Scotland at the last minute!?
Edward: (Scottish accent, on the other line) I already said I’m sorry! I don’t like this any more than you! My father told me he needed me to help him host a sorcerer’s gathering! I didn’t have any other choice!
Louis: Even so, you realize this is our first job in months, and now I’m gonna have to host it all by myself!?
Edward: Not to worry, lad! I thought ahead and already sent in a substitute.
Louis: Huh? What substitute?
(A bright white flash fills the room. Louis looks behind and sees a teenage girl step forth. She has brown, wavy hair tied in a Purity Knit hairstyle and wears glasses and a white dress. She is holding a crimson short sword and a shield in her hands.)
Hello, Mr. Louis! Long time, no see!
Louis: Emily? Ed sent you as my co-host?
Emily: (Lighter Scottish accent; Nods) Aye! My brother said he’d let me fill in for him while he’s away!
Louis: Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, she’s not even trained and the show starts in twenty minutes!
Edward: That’s what you’re here for, genius! Just show her the ropes and she’ll do fine! Look mate, I have to go! Good luck with with the show! (Hangs up)
Louis: Ed? ED!? (Groans) That bastard hung up on me!
Emily: Umm……Mr. Louis? Are we going to get started?
(Louis sighs and turns to Emily)
Louis: Yeah. I guess I can make do with you. You saw our past episodes, right?
Emily: (Excitedly) Aye! All of them were fantastic, but Raven vs Shanoa was my favorite!
Louis: Well today’s you’re lucky day, because one of our guests is Shanoa.
Emily: (Gasps) Oh, my God! This is so exciting!
Louis: Take it easy, rookie. Since this is your first time, you’ll be reading from your brother’s script. Just follow it and pay close attention to how I interview the clients. Be calm, professional, and polite, and you’ll do just fine.
Emily: (Smiles coyly) So in other words, be everything that you and Edward aren’t?
Louis: Another smartass comment like that and you’re out of here.
Emily: I’m sorry! I’m sorry! No more smart remarks!
Louis: Good. Are you sure you’re up to this?
Emily: Of course! I’m an Elvis! Excellence runs in the family!
Louis: Yeah well, I hope I see more of that in you than in your brother. Let’s go.
Emily: (I can’t believe I’m actually going to host a Death Battle show! This is so exciting, I might just die!)
Louis: Darkness rises, and light to meet it. In every work of fiction from Star Wars to Lord of the Rings, it seems that this motif is always presented in some way. Whether it’s through some hidden, ancient power, or two characters representing each side, or even just the ideals and beliefs of both sides, Black and White will always be enemies.
(Louis and Emily pause and think about his last statement.)
Emily: Do you think maybe you could’ve made that sound less…….”racist?”
Louis: Look kid, I didn’t write this crap. Speaking of which, shouldn’t you be looking at your script?
Emily: Oh! Umm…….(Looks at her papers). Uh, these two heroines are living embodiements of the powers of darkness and light. And this episode, we’ll be pitting them in a duel to see which side is superior.
Louis: Our first contestant is a returning fighter to this show! She gave her life to defeat Raven of the Teen Titans, before the latter brought it back to her!
Shanoa, the Order of Ecclesia’s elite vampire huntress!
Emily: And for her opponent we have…….(Eyes light up at the next line.) Artoria Pendragon!? We’re going to meet Saber from Fate!? This is the greatest day of my–
Louis: (Sharply) Emily! Focus!
Emily: (Clears her throat and starts again) I mean….
Artoria Pendragon, the legendary King of Knights from the Fate series!
As always, I’m Louis LeVainquer, also known as “The Blue Knight!”
Louis: Unfortunately, my usual co-host Edward couldn’t make it today due to family obligations. So for today, his younger sister is covering for him!
(The camera pans to Emily)
Emily: (Blushes) Oh! Um, hi. I, uh–ahem!
I’m…..Emily Elvis, formally known as the White Sage.
Louis: (Places hand on Emily’s shoulder) Relax. Breath deeply, you’re doing fine. (Turns back to the camera) Also, this will be a special Prelude because we’re going to do something we haven’t done before! Instead of bringing in close associates of the contestants, we’ll be interviewing the contestants themselves!
Emily: (Gasps in excitement) Shut up! I mean–our first interviewee will be the aforementioned Shanoa, the heroine from Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia.
Shanoa: (Walks into in the interview room.) Greetings. It’s an honor to be called here again.
Louis: Following her, we’ll have her new opponent Saber for her interview! She’s no stranger to Death Battle, having gone up against the likes of Guts, Clare, and even Captain America in other works!
Saber: (Curtsies politely) Artoria Pendragon, the Once and Future King, at your service.
Louis: Now in this epic battle of darkness and light, which of these powerful women will reign supreme? How do we answer that question, Emily?
Emily: With–uh, hold on. (Turns page over) Uhhhhhhhh, okay! We answer that question with a DEATH BATTLE!!!
(Ding!)
Shanoa:
Alias: The Morning Sun
Day of Birth: Presumably between late 18th to 19th century
Age: 20 (as of Order of Ecclesia)
Birthplace: Wallachia (presumably)
Race/Nationality: Wallachian, Eastern European
Height: N/A
Weight: N/A
Affiliation: The Order of Ecclesia (Disbanded)
Theme Song:
Louis: First of all, it’s great to have you with us again, Shanoa!
Shanoa: Thank you. t’s a great honor to be selected for Death Battle once again.
Emily: (Eyes sparkling) Oh, you’re even more beautiful in person, Ms. Shanoa! Raven vs Shanoa was one of my favorite episodes. You and Raven were both amazing, and it was so sweet when you became friends!
Shanoa: (Bashful) Uhhh……thank you very much. My she’s…..enthusiastic.
Louis: Sorry, she’s new. (To Emily) Take it easy. I know you’re excited, but remember we’re here to do a job. (To Shanoa) Before we start, I am curious. Whatever happened to your master Barlowe since the Epilogue?
Shanoa: (Grimly) Let’s just say……..he’s no longer my master.
Louis: Damn. Well…..I guess you kept your promise to Raven.
Shanoa: (Nods head) I keep the promises I make. That man deserved to pay for manipulating us against each other. I am no longer bound to his lies.
Emily: (Smiles) I guess Raven was right about you after all! Speaking of which, have you ever spoken to her since the Epilogue?
Shanoa: We keep in touch. She told me about a green friend of hers who was a guest here a few years ago. Apparently, she took him into the inside of her mind and beat him up viciously.
Emily: (Laughing) That’s right! And then Beast Boy turned into a dinosaur and tried to stomp–
Louis: WE ARE NOT DISCUSSING THAT!!! (Pauses) Ahem! Sorry about that. I think we’re getting off track. Let’s cover our first section with Shanoa. Emily?
Emily: What? Oh, right! (Looks at her script) Ahem! “Ms. Shanoa, can you give us a brief summary of your origin story? Where did you come from, who did you face, and what were your strongest feats?”
Louis: Not bad, Emily. (Gives her a thumbs up.)
Emily: (Smiles) Thank you, Mr. Louis.
Shanoa: I was born in the early 19th Century in Wallachia. I was raised by the Holy Order of Ecclesia, who took me in as an orphan. Growing up, the Order taught me the long history of Dracula’s attempts to wipe out all human life in Europe. For centuries, a brave warrior of the legendary Belmont clan would vanquish the mad vampire and rid the world of his darkness.
Louis: With all of Dracula’s failures, you’d think he’d find a new hobby at some point.
Shanoa: Unfortunately, it wasn’t to last forever. Over the centuries, the Belmont bloodline trickled away to near extinction. With no one to slay Dracula should he return, Ecclesia imprisoned his soul inside a magic vessel until they find a way to destroy him.
Emily: And is this where you came in?
Shanoa: Correct. Since I was young, my master Barlowe trained me to be the bearer of Dominus, the Glyph with the power to destroy the mad vampire once and for all.
Louis: But we wouldn’t have a game if it was that easy. Didn’t some idiot in your church mess the whole thing up?
Shanoa: That would be my stepbrother Albus. Jealous that he wasn’t chosen, he sabotaged the ritual, robbing me of my powers, memories, and emotions. I was forced on a perilous quest to recover my memories, and rescue innocent people along the way. Eventually, I confronted Albus, who was driven completely mad by Dominus’ power. I defeated Albus in a duel, but just before his death, he revealed that he only sabotaged the ritual to save me.
Emily: Save you? From what? I thought he was just trying to steal your power for himself?
Shanoa: (With resentment) Our master “forgot” to tell us that Dominus would ultimately kill those who would try to use it. This whole time, Barlowe was planning to use me not to kill Dracula, but to resurrect him! When that failed, the fool threw away his own life to restore Dracula’s. I was left with no family, and no purpose except to cast the mad vampire back to Hell! I stormed through his castle, destroying his legions of monsters before finally reaching Dracula himself. Using his own power against him, I destroyed the mad vampire and ended his tyranny once more.
Emily: But if you used Dominus, how are you still alive?
Shanoa: (Sadly) That…was Albus, once again. Dominus requires only a single soul wield it. He basically gave up his own life to protect mine. (Smiles sadly) My brave, foolish brother. Always there to protect me right to the end.
Emily: (Holds Shanoa’s hand) I know a thing or two about older brothers. My brother Edward always put his life on the line to protect mine. He would be proud that yours was willing to do the same for you.
Shanoa: (Smiles) Thank you.
(They notice Louis dozing off at his desk)
Emily: Mr. Louis? Mr. Louis! MR. LOUIS!!!
Louis: Ahh! Wh-what happened!? Are we still on?
Emily: (Looks disappointed) Whatever happened to acting professional?
Louis: Powers! We’re moving onto Powers, now!
Shanoa: (Annoyed sigh)
Feats:
* 2nd female protagonist of a Castlevania game.
** 1st being Sonia Belmont.
* Wielded the Dominus Glyph
* Regularly fights the supernatural.
* Rescued the people of Wygol Village.
* Defeated Albus in a one-on-one duel.
** Albus was roughly as powerful as Shanoa
* Uncovered a plan to resurrect Dracula.
* Defeated her insane master Barlowe
* Navigated Dracula’s entire castle and defeated him.
* Borderline OP in Castlevania: Judgement.
* Has one of Castlevania’s coolest theme songs
Powers and Abilities:
Glyph Magic:
* Runes that Shanoa absorbs though her skin:
** “Arm” x2 Weapons or magic powers
*** Swords, Lances, Knives, Axes, Bows, and more
*** Fire, water, earth, wind, lightning, etc.
** “Back” x1 Support powers:
*** Flight, health/strength regen, etc.
** Mostly found from fallen enemies
* Glyph Unions:
** Combines two Glyphs for single, powerful strike.
** Costly, ammo-wise.
Gameplay Videos:
Louis: Okay so, we’ve seen the use of Shanoa’s powers years ago, but would you mind if you refresh our reader’s minds on how they work?
Shanoa: Not a problem. The source of my powers come from Glyphs, magic floating runes I absorb through the markings on my skin (Points to the tattoos on her arms and back). Most of my Glyphs come from the bodies of my defeated foes. After I kill an enemy, I absorb the Glyph they leave behind and gain whatever power or weapon they were using. For example, if I kill a sword-wielding skeleton, I can use the same weapon he was using.
Louis: So basically magic tattoos equals awesome weapons? Putain de merde, I want to meet your artist!
Emily: I thought you hated magic, Mr. Louis?
Louis: I rethought my opinion after Seras vs Tanya. Besides, how can I not love the ability to use any weapon you want at any moment?
Emily: Speaking of which, it is quite impressive how versatile your Glyphs are, Ms. Shanoa.
Shanoa: Thank you. However, I normally use them make short-range weapons such as swords or spears. The longer ranged ones use up more of my magic. And worse, my most powerful Glyphs drain my life energy, which is why I rarely use them.
Emily: That’s right…..You died after you used your Dominus Glyphs to defeat Raven in your last fight.
Shanoa: (Looks down regretfully)
Emily: Forgive me. I shouldn’t have brought that up.
Shanoa: No, it’s alright. No need to apologize. What else should we discuss?
Louis: We need to know about your Dominus Glyphs, and any special power you haven’t shown yet.
Shanoa: Very well….
Dominus Glyphs:
* Shanoa’s strongest Glyphs
* 3 Types: Anger, Hatred, and Agony.
* Obliterates an entire room full of enemies.
* Each does 66 damage
* Defeated Dracula with them
* Dominus Hatred:
** Summons several pillars of light, which then shower the floor surrounding Shanoa.
** “Light, fall like rain!”
* Dominus Anger:
** aka “Dark Inferno.”
** Fires a cluster of flaming energy balls
** See above video by SatanitusLord.
* Dominus Agony:
** Only support-based Dominus Glyph
** Sharply raises all stats
** Slowly drains Shanoa’s health
* Glyph Union:
** Enormous burst of energy that kills everything on screen…including Shanoa
** Its attack power is OVER 9000!!!
Finishing Move – Glyph of Gales:
* Ultra move from Castlevania: Judgement
** Just watch the GIF here, or YuuGiJoou’s video above (3:11).
Shanoa: My strongest Glyphs, the Dominus, are all copies of Dracula’s powers. There are three kinds: Hatred, Anger, and Agony, and each do a tremendous 66 hit points of damage. Hatred summons falling pillars of green light; Anger shoots giant flaming balls of evil energy; and Agony covers my body in dark energy, dramatically boosting my stats.
Louis: Hatred, Anger, and Agony? One more and we can start a really edgy metal band.
Emily: (Ugh……I hate that obnoxious screaming music.)
Shanoa: Each of the Dominus require a great amount of strength and willpower. When Albus possessed the Dominus, it slowly corrupted his mind until he finally went mad. The Dominus also harms its user with each use. If I use all three powers, the combined 9999 hit points will kill everything……including me.
Shanoa: (Confused) What the–
Louis: What the Hell is Vegeta doing here!? (Looks to Emily) Emily, you did that?
Emily: (Giggles, reveals her hands charged with magic) Sorry, I just couldn’t resist.
Louis: You just had to capitalize on that old meme, didn’t you?
Shanoa: I’m sorry, what?
Louis: Oh, sorry. It’s an old inside joke from Dragonball Z.
Shanoa: I’m not familiar…
Louis: Never mind! Forget it! Other than your Dominus Glyphs, what other weaknesses do you have that might make this fight harder?
Weaknesses:
* Glass cannon
* Aggressive fighting style
* Glyphs require energy and recharge
** Only takes a few seconds
* Glyph Unions require specific resources
** Cannot be charged without ammo
* The Dominus Glyph:
** Requires 1/6 of health for each use.
** Glyph Union will kill her instantly
** An absolute LAST resort!
Shanoa: Sadly I’m not very durable, so I have to avoid getting hit as long as possible. Also, I tend to focus more on my offense than my defense. Most of my Glyphs consume magic and need a little time to recharge, and my Glyph Unions can’t replenish without specific resources. Finally, as I mentioned before, the Dominus Glyphs drain my health with each use, so I can’t afford to use them except in extreme emergencies.
Emily: But even with such critical weaknesses, you were still strong enough to defeat two powerful sorcerers, and survive a deadly castle full of Dracula’s worst monsters!
Louis: And finally, you faced down the Vampire Lord himself and sealed the bastard away with his own magic! Will everything you’ve accomplished, you really are “The Morning Sun come to vanquish the horrible night!”
Shanoa: (Smiles happily) Thank you! Is there anything else you need me to share?
Emily: Nope! We’ve got everything we need! You’re free to go, Ms. Shanoa!
Louis: We look forward to your second fight on our channel.
Shanoa: Alright, then. Farewell.
(Shanoa walks up and calmly leaves the room.)
Emily: (Nervously) So…..How am I dont, Mr. Louis?
Louis: Pretty good for your first time! You asked all the right questions, were polite to the guest, and kept a positive attitude. You just need to relax a bit and pay a more attention to the script. But other than that, not bad!
Emily: Thank you so much, Mr. Louis! You’re really much nicer than you appear on your show.
Louis: That’s just because your brother isn’t here to piss me off.
Emily: (Looks slightly annoyed, but hides it.)
Louis: But anyway, now we just need to wait for Saber to come in. Are you ready, Emily?
Emily: Yes, sir! Ready when you are!
(“Hear me, Dracula! I am the morning sun, come to vanquish this horrible night!”)
Bonus Videos!!!
(Ding!)
SABER:
First Appearance: “Fate/Stay Night” (2004)
Real Name: Artoria Pendragon
Birthdate: Unknown (Somewhere in the 400s, AD)
Birthplace: Kingdom of England, Great Britain
Race/Nationality: British
Height: 5’1″
Weight: 92 1/2 lbs
Aliases: Proud Knight-King, King of Knights
Theme:
(Artoria walks in gracefully, a look of royal pride on her face)
Louis: Well, then here she is–the Legendary King of Knights–Saber/Arturia!
Saber: (Bows politely) It’s an honor to be here.
Emily: (I can’t believe I’m looking at THE King of Knights! She’s so majestic! Her golden hair! Her silver armor! Her emerald eyes!)
Louis: Enchante’, madame. We’ve had a lot of guests on this show, but I think this is the first time we’ve been in the presence of royalty.
Saber: You honor me with your words. Also, I can tell by the way you spoke to me that you hail from France.
Louis: Well, not me personally. But my family traces back to that country.
Saber: I see. Still, it’s hard to believe our countries were rivals some centuries ago.
Louis: (Laughs) I hope that doesn’t mean you’ll try to kill me?
Saber: (Smirks) So long as you don’t give me a reason to.
Emily: No! No! No! We have enough violence with you and my brother! We don’t need to start it with Lady Artoria!
Saber: Calm yourself, it’s only a jest. I can tell Sir Louis is a noble man, no matter where he’s from.
Emily: (Embarrassed) Right. S-sorry.
Louis: (Laughs) Take it easy, Emily! If we wanted to fight, we’d draw our swords already! But let’s not waste any time. Saber–is it fine if I call you Saber?
Saber: There is no harm in it.
Louis: We got a lot of backstory to cover, both with the Legend of King Arthur, and the Fate storyline. Please tell us where you came from, and all the accomplishments you made as the King of Louiss and as a Saber-class Servant. We don’t have a lot of time, so just make it as short as you can.
Saber: I’ll try my best, but there’s a lot I need to cover.
Emily: May I ask one question? When I was little, my brother Edward read me the story of King Arthur every night. But I’ve never heard of the legendary King of Knights being a woman?
Saber: Well, the reason is–
Louis: Hold on, but allow me to give a short answer: it’s anime. Why else do you think Alexander the Great is a muscular dudebro obsessed with RPGs? Or Spartacus looks like the deranged lovechild of Simon Belmont and Voldo? Or Gilgamesh is a bishounen Dio Brando lookalike? Here, just look at the screen!
Real Alexander:
Anime Alexander:
Real Spartacus:
Anime Spartacus:
Real Gilgamesh:
Anime Gilgamesh:
Saber: (Sees Archer’s pic and blushes) (Ugh! Archer, you distasteful–)
Emily: (Eyes wide) They took a lot of liberty with mythology, didn’t they? Also, why the hell is Gilgamesh naked?
Louis: See what I mean? As for Gilgamesh, we’ll let someone in the comments answer that. But let’s get back to you, madame Artoria.
Saber: (Shakes it off) Though indeed I am a woman, my story is likely similar to the one your brother told you. When I was young, I was raised by the sorcerer Merlin to be King of Britain, which I earned the right to by drawing the sword Excalibur from the stone. During my reign, I formed the Knights of the Round Table and led Britain to countless victories and a golden age of prosperity.
Emily: That’s right! But then you were betrayed by your son Mordred–
Anime Mordred:
Emily: Or…..”daughter” Mordred?
Louis: Like I said, it’s just anime.
Emily: (Touches her chin, thinking) But something doesn’t add up. If you were King, then you would’ve married another woman. So how did–
Saber: (Slams the table angrily) Look, it’s a long and complicated story, okay!?
(Louis and Emily stare at her in shock)
Saber: (Calms down) Forgive me. Yes, my…….child Mordred betrayed me out of resentment for me not giving her the throne. Our Kingdom was brought into a deadly civil war that culminated in a final duel between me and Mordred. Both of us were killed and the war ended without a victor.
Emily: (Sadly) That’s so tragic. To be forced into to war against your own child. And for what?
Louis: C’est la guerre, kid. So, let’s fast forward to modern day. What brought you back hundreds of years later after your death in battle?
Saber: The same thing that brings all Servants back: The Holy Grail War.
Louis: (Oh, Lord. I just know Emily’s going to pull a Monty Python joke.)
Emily: I’m sorry, the Holy Grail War?
Saber: It’s a battle royale that happens every ten to sixty years. In each event, the Grail will materialize into the real world and choose seven Masters, who summon seven Servants to fight on each one’s behalf. Each Servant is a legendary hero, monarch, or villain from a different place and time, including the three you mentioned before. The last one standing would earn the right to the Grail and have their greatest wish granted.
Emily: I see. And I’m to assume you’re one of those Servants brought by a Master?
Saber: (Smiles and nods) That’s correct. It’s also how I got my title as the Saber class. I’ve competed in at least three Grail Wars, each under a different Master.
Kiritsugu Emiya (Fate Zero):
Shirou Emiya (Fate/Stay Night):
Rin Tohsaka (Unlimited Blade Works):
Emily: (Squealing) Ooooh, look at Rin! She’s so adorable!
Louis: Just don’t search on Google Images–unless you want the FBI to come knocking. And I can tell Kiritsugu and Shirou are definitely badasses. You’ve had some interesting masters, Saber.
Saber: Thank you. And as the King of Knights, I’ve performed countless heroic feats both before and after the Grail Wars. I’ve won duels against the likes of Alexander the Great and Hercules, and even destroyed that diabolical madman Gilles de Rais.
Louis: That’s all amazing to hear, Artoria! But if you don’t mind, we’d like to list all your feats below to save time.
Saber: No problem at all.
FEATS:
King Arthur’s Legend:
-Was an accomplished military strategist
-United Britain against the Saxons and founded the kingdom of Camelot
-Pulled the sword out of the stone
-Personally fought on the frontlines with her army
-Considered one of the great swordsmen of the age
-Killed dragons and other unholy creatures
-Defeated – and killed – Mordred in single combat:
— Though at the cost of her own life
Fate/Zero:
-Destroyed Rider/Iskander’s Gordius Wheel
-Found a worthy opponent/friendly rival in Lancer/Diarmuid
-Vaporized an army of eldritch horrors, including the nigh-invulnerable Gigantic Horror – the Nasuverse equivalent to Cthulhu – and Caster/Gilles de Rais
-Defeated Berserker/Lancelot
Fate/stay night – Fate Route:
-Fended off Lancer/Cu Chulainn
-Busted out Excalibur’s true form and destroyed Rider/Medusa in one shot
-With Shirou’s help, defeated Berserker/Hercules
-Killed the master swordsman (Fake) Assassin, parrying a technique that was capable of slicing the laws of physics
-Killed Gilgamesh himself by resorting to a trump card that surpassed even Ea
-Was underpowered for all of this thanks to having Shirou Emiya as a Master
Fate/stay night – Unlimited Blade Works Route:
-Fended off Lancer/Cu Chulainn
-Though underpowered, through sheer skill Saber matched Berserker/Hercules in direct combat and even landed a mortal blow
-Still considered enough of a threat that Archer refused to fight her directly, even when he wanted to kill Shirou
-Received a massive power up with Rin Tohsaka as her Master
Fate/stay night – Heaven’s Feel Route:
Actions as Saber Alter:
-Easily swats away Archer
-Murders Rider/Medusa and Shirou simultaneously in one Bad End
-Curbstomps Berserker/Hercules
-In the Fate/unlimited code video game, even defeats her default self
Fate/hollow ataraxia:
-Dominated Archer in a duel
-Unleashed the full power of Excalibur on an army of Avenger copies
Louis: All right! With ALL that backstory out of the way, let’s get to the part that really matters. First off, what are your greatest strengths of being a Saber-class Servant?
Saber: For starters, all my base stats like Strength, Endurance, and Mana range from mid-B to A++, which is not only high, but incredibly balanced. Not only that, but I also have powerful skills I’ve acquired both as a Servant and the former King of Britain. These include high-level magic resistance, Charisma fit for a king, and razor-sharp combat instinct.
Saber’s Stats:
* Alignment: Lawful Good
* Strength: A
* Endurance: B
* Agility: B
* Mana: A
* Luck:A+
* N. Phantasm:A++
Class Skills:
* Magic Resistance: A
* Riding: B
Personal Skills:
* Charisma: B
* Instinct: A
* Prana Burst: A
Noble Phantasms:
* Excalibur: A++
* Invisible Air: C
* Avalon: EX
Emily: Already this looks very impressive, but I think we’re only getting started!
Louis: For such a small-looking woman–no offense–you’re clearly not someone to underestimate!
Saber: Indeed. Being a Servant comes with plenty of perks. I’m strong enough to throw a 80,000 trailer truck, cause damage to hard steel and concrete, and even collapse an entire building with a swing of my sword! Furthermore, I’ve been quick enough to run up sheer walls and dodge machine gun fire. I could even outrun a possessed F-15 fighter jet!
Emily: You can actually outrun a bloody fighter plane!? Edward would be so jealous!
Louis: (Laughs) Yeah, I would LOVE to see the look on his face!
Emily: (Ignores him) But what if you end up getting hurt in battle? Would you be able to keep going?
Saber: Of course! My armor is enchanted with Mana, which is essentially the source of my world’s magic. Should my armor be damaged, I can use some of my Mana to repair it. Certain enchanted weapons like Lancer’s Gae Dearg spear can pierce it, but that’s an extremely rare case. Even without my armor, I’ve survived getting slammed around by Berserker, and even took a direct hit from Gilgamesh’s sword Ea!
Emily: What’s Ea?
Saber: It’s a blade whose power can warp reality by creating Reality Marbles–pocket dimensions based on the user’s memories.
NOTE: At the time Saber was struck, Ea was severely-handicapped. Even then, it has crippled high-level servants with a single hit.
Louis: Pocket dimen–what the hell is this!? Are we being visited by Dr. Strange now?
Emily: Don’t get upset, Mr. Louis. After all……it’s anime. (Smiles coyly)
Louis: (Chuckles) Okay, you got me there. Reality-bending bullshit aside, what other skills do you have?
Saber: This doesn’t have much to do with fighting, but the Grail gifts Servants like me certain information about the modern world. I also have the gift of Riding, meaning I can tame beasts and drive vehicles with relative ease.
Emily: You know about the modern world? Does that mean you understand this? (Turns on the TV screen)
Saber: (Laughing) Yeah, Monty Python and the Holy Grail! Truly a classic!
Louis: (Puts on outrageous French accent) Mais bien sûr! Ah’m French too! Whae do you think Ah have zis outrrrageous accent?
Emily: (Imitating French accent) You do not frighten me, English pig-dog! (Blows raspberry)
Saber: (Winding down) Yes, yes. It is funny. But let’s move on, shall we?
Physicality & Skills:
Strength:
-Lifting Strength: Chucked a trailer truck with ease:
— Trailer trucks can weigh up to 80,000lbs with a full load
-Striking Strength:
— Even underpowered, could go toe-to-toe with Berserker/Hercules
-Boosted with Mana Burst
-Swings can level buildings
-An exchange of blows with Berserker or Lancer typically pulverizes steel and concrete from the resulting kinetic energy
Speed & Dexterity:
-Running Speed: Mach 15.13, outran a demonically empowered F-15 fighter jet
-Reflexes/Reaction Time: Est. Mach 45
-Boosted with Mana Burst
-Runs up vertical surfaces regularly
-Evaded automatic fire
-Enhanced via Eye of the Mind (True)
Durability:
-Enchanted armor
-Took hits from Berserker/Hercules
-Survived a direct hit from handicapped Ea
Adaptational:
-Adapted to modern times
-Adjusts combat strategies on the fly
Intelligence:
-Political and administrative savvy, became king at 14 and successfully led her country to prosperity
-Commanded large enemies and governed half of Britain
-Commands a respectable knowledge of magecraft
Master Swordswoman:
-Gilgamesh himself wouldn’t want to engage her in a simple duel:
— Of course not, the pretentious, arrogant prick
-Became Shirou’s mentor in swordsmanship
Sixth Sense:
-Borders on precognition, advances reaction time
Blessing of the Lady of the Lake:
-Can walk/run on water
Emily: (Reads the chart) This part is interesting. It says here that you can walk on water?
Louis: What, is she Jesus all of a sudden?
Saber: (Chuckles) I don’t think Jesus would be the type to get involved in a Death Battle. No, what allows me to walk on water is the Lady of the Lake’s blessing.
Emily: Is it like how Sonic the Hedgehog can run on water because he’s so fast?
Saber: Not quite. It’s more like the water becomes solid beneath my feet, as if I’m standing on solid ground.
Saber running on water due to her blessing from Lady of the Lake [Fate/Zero]
byu/Ownsin inanimegifs
Emily: I see. Well it’s a good thing you’re not an Olympic swimmer or you’d be DQ’d on the spot!
Louis: But while pretending to be Jesus is fun, it’s not a power that’s gonna decide any matches. So, what super powerful moves do you have that can really turn the tide?
Saber: Like all Servants, I possess Noble Phantasms–powerful weapons or attacks based on one’s accomplishments in their past life. In my case, my Noble Phantasms are tied to my sword Excalibur.
Emily: Of course, since it’s your greatest weapon and all.
Saber: Well, it’s not exactly what you think. While Noble Phantasms are powerful, they aren’t always weapons per se. Some don’t even have physical form, like my usage of Invisible Air–Wind Magic that I can use to conceal my blade.
Louis: What the hell’s the point of not being able to see your own weapon?
Emily: That should be obvious! If you can’t see it, then neither can your opponent!
Saber: Yes, and this makes my sword that much harder to dodge since my opponent can’t determine its length. I can also conjure wind around myself as a shield or even an attack. Besides, since the opponent won’t know that I wield Excalibur, they won’t be able to keep tabs on me based on my history.
Louis: (Blushes) R–right. I knew that. I was just trying to see if the rookie could figure it out.
(Saber and Emily both look unconvinced.)
Emily: Uh-huh.
Saber: Riiiiight.
Louis: Let’s just talk about the damn sword!
Emily: In my bedtime stories, I learned that Excalibur was a divine and mighty sword, capable of slaying all sorts of monsters and demons.
Saber: Those stories are accurate. I’ve taken down many a worthy foe using Excalibur, before and since the Holy Grail Wars. And with enough magic and charge time, I can unleash my ultimate Noble Phantasm: “The Sword of Promised Victory.”
(Louis and Emily stare at the screen, amazed)
Emily: That……….Was……….
Louis: FUCKING INCREDIBLE!!!
Saber: (Just smiles proudly)
Noble Phantasms:
INVISIBLE AIR:
* Wind Manipulation
* Anti-Unit level Phantasm
* Hides Excalibur’s Identity
* Obscures blade’s length
* Defensive and offensive purposes
EXCALIBUR:
“The Sword of Promised Victory:
–Rank A++
-Anti-Fortress rank
-Divine Blasts
-Holy Nature:
–Effective against Dark Beings
–Powerful enough to annihilate a kaiju-sized Gilles de Rais
-It’s just……fucking awesome
(Louis and Emily snap out of it)
Emily: (Gasps) Oh, my God! (Pages through the script) Bollocks, I lost track! What page are we on?
Louis: Forget the script, Em! So…..Saber, your Noble Phantasms are certainly impressive. (Especially that second one.)
Saber: But there is one more I’ve yet to cover. And it all has to do with Excalibur’s sheath, Avalon.
Louis: Seriously? The scabbard?
Emily: (Confused) Hold on. The sword I understand, but how on Earth is a scabbard an effective weapon?
Louis: Ever played Soul Calibur VI? Mitsurugi has some moves where he whacks the opponent with a sheath.
(Check out Arkham500’s YouTube Channel for awesome SC6 videos!)
Saber: No, no, that’s not how it works. My Avalon acts more as a conduit for other magic abilities. Such powers include rapid healing, eternal youth, lifting curses, and brief invincibility. However, this invincibility has a severe time-limit.
Emily: Oh, like one of those stars from Mario?
Saber: Not quite. It can briefly transport me to the Realm of Fairies, rendering me impervious to even the most fearsome weapons. Not even Ea could touch me in that state. The only downside is that this lasts very briefly–only a minute at best. It’s rarely consistent.
Emily: So less like a Starman, more like a Great Fairy Fountain from Zelda.
Louis: But without that creepy bitch laughing at you like The Joker. You know the one.
Emily: (Hides beneath her hat) UUUUUUUUGH. Make it STOOOOOP!!!
Louis: Je déteste cette putain de fée.
Saber: (Confused silence) In any case…the Realm of Fairies’ defense will eventually expire, but by that point I would’ve been restored back to full health.
Emily: That’s great! Even the legendary King of Louiss needs a second wind!
AVALON:
– Scabbard of Excalibur:
— Rank: EX
-Enhances Healing
– Halts Aging
– Treats Curses
– Temporary Invincibility:
— 1-60 Seconds
— Keeps her safe from all attacks, including Ea
–Full-health Restoration after use
Louis: Alright! I think this is plenty of information for us to work with! All that’s left now is to move on to your weakness–
(Saber stares down silently, almost as if she’s uncomfortable)
Emily: Ms. Saber? Are you all right? What’s wrong?
Saber: (Somberly) There’s…..one more thing I need to discuss. But I warn you, it’s not something one should take lightly. It’s a sort of dark state that I get into when I face an overwhelming opponent like Berserker.
Louis: Oh, man. Here we go.
Emily: (Fearful) What is this power called?
Saber: I call it…….Saber Alter.
Emily: Well, that doesn’t sound too threatening.
Louis: (Saber Alter, eh? This should be interesting.)
Emily: (Horrified) My God! I was so, so wrong!
(Louis is munching on a bowl of popcorn)
Emily: Seriously!? How could you enjoy that!?
Louis: A battle between an evil Fem!King Arthur and a mutated Hercules? How could I not enjoy it? (Shares popcorn) You want some?
Emily: No, thank you! Saber, just–what on Earth was that!?
Saber: That was the malevolent power of Saber Alter. Sadly, it was the only way I could put down Berserker for good. When I go into this state, I lose all sanity and moral code, and turn into a raging beast. My strength, endurance, and magical power skyrocket. My Excalibur is also replaced with an even stronger version of the original. My wounds also heal much sooner thanks to an much more potent healing factor. The only drawback is that I become slightly slower, which is hardly an issue.
Emily: Even with all those benefits, a warrior of your caliber should have no need for evil power! What would drive you to become something like that!?
Louis: (Angrily) Emily, that’s enough! Every hero has a dark side! And Saber said she only turns into hers as a last resort! Hell, she probably hates going into it! Just calm down and be quiet!
(Emily quiets down, looking guilty)
Louis: (Sighs)……..But, she makes a good point. What causes you to become Saber Alter?
Saber: Ironically, it was the Holy Grail. Turns out that it was not the omnipotent wish-granter we thought it was. Long ago, a Babylonian Dark God named Angra Mainyu filled the Grail with evil power. And unfortunately, I happened to suffer exposure to that very corruption. That same evil power still runs in my veins, though I fight every day to resist it.
Louis: So what you’re saying is, whatever vile shit Angra Mainyu infected the Grail with…..
Emily: (Apologetic)….Has infected you, too. I’m so sorry.
Saber: (Forgiving) It’s alright. I’m glad now you understand. I have managed to turn back into my normal form, but only when I’m around an emotional anchor like my master Shirou Emiya.
Emily: The more I hear this, the more I’m reminded of Raven’s Trigon form from Raven vs Shanoa.
Louis: If that’s the case, Shanoa’s gonna have some Vietnam War flashbacks if it comes to this.
SABER ALTER:
-Born from the Corrupted Grail
-Boosted Healing Factor
-Significant physique boost:
–Easily defeated Berserker/Hercules
–Defeated her default self w/ease
–Slower than default Saber
–No indication of Avalon usage
-Black Excalibur:
–MUCH stronger than default Excalibur
NOTE: It’s implied that Saber can enter this state at will, but she avoids it because of its corruptive nature.
Louis: Ooooookay. Any more shocking, terrifying powers you need to share?
Saber: No, there’s nothing more.
Emily: Then I think it’s time to wrap this up! What are the limits of your powers, and what weaknesses could your opponent exploit?
Saber: For starters, my magic supply is limited, as is Avalon’s. I have to use my best moves sparingly or risk complete exhaustion. Such limits also apply to my Magic Resistance.
Louis: Isn’t there also the fact that your power can be dependent on your Master?
Emily: Perhaps, but I doubt we have to worry about that in a Death Battle.
Louis: You’re absolutely right. There’s also the fact that her Alter form is…well, her Alter form. But we already covered it, and I really don’t want any more of that drama.
WEAKNESSES:
– Limited Magic Supply
–Applies to Avalon as well
-Excalibur’s stronger moves can drain her
-Power varies depending on her master
-Magic Resistance has limits
-Alter Form is completely insane
–Requires emotional anchor to return to normal
Emily: But when all is said and done, Saber is no less a formidable force! Through all her heroic deeds and victories, she became a timeless figure both as the King of England, and the heroine of the Fate series!
Louis: And as a Louis myself, I know that if your Servant is the Legendary King Arthur (her)self, then you know you’re in good hands.
Emily: Well Saber, it was an honor to have you on this show with us. And……I’m sorry I overreacted earlier.
Saber: It’s no problem at all! And the honor was all mine! I’m glad that I was able to give you all the research you needed.
Louis: Wait! One last thing! (Draws sword and raises it) EXCALIBUUUUUUUR!!!
Saber: (Stunned for a second, but then chuckles) Very well. (Draws Excalibur) EXCALIBUUUUUUUR!!!
Louis: Always wanted to do that. (Sheathes sword) Alright. Merci et adieu, mon roi.
Saber: And I bid you adieu as well. Thanks again!
(Saber leaves the interview room. The cameras shut down)
Emily: So that’s it? We’re done!
Louis: Okay, okay, okay! That’s the end of the Prelude! We got everything we need from both contestants! Now we just have to make the fight! C’mon, let’s go get lunch.
Emily: Aye, sir!
(“I only joined this war to avoid spilling rivers of blood. Fight for the Holy Grail, no meaningless bloodshed, minimize sacrifices, one person taking up the mission of fate instead of armies of men and competing here! This is what we Servants should do.”)
BONUS VIDEO!!!
EPILOGUE:
(They’re walking down the hall, on their way to the cafeteria)
Louis: So Em, how do you feel? You enjoy your first time?
Emily: It was amazing! I love being part of this show! The music and the script! Meeting Shanoa and Saber face-to-face! It was all so grand! So, how did I do my first time?
Louis: For the most part, you did alright. You treated the guests politely, you followed the script well (mostly), but weren’t afraid to improvise a little bit. You even threw in a couple of your own jokes like the Monty Python one! I think you might have a future here at DBHQ.
Emily: (Stunned) You mean…….I can work here?
Louis: We’ll call this your “job interview”, and I say you passed it. I’ll have Hiro give you some training and practice runs. We’ll then find you a partner, and give you a few projects of your own. Is that good?
Emily: Is that good!? It’s wonderful! (She hugs him tight) Thank you sooooooo much, Mr. Louis! I promise you won’t regret this!
Louis: (Struggling to breathe) Okay, okay! Y–you’re welcome! You—you can let me go now! (Gasps) Anyway, I’m glad you’re excited. And I’m sorry for losing my temper at you earlier. That was totally unprofessional of me.
Emily: It’s not problem. I was a wee bit unprofessional myself. But honestly, for one who appears so brash and impulsive, you’re a lot nicer in person.
Louis: Well, you’re a much easier person to work with. Unlike that idiot brother of yours.
(Emily glares at him, almost looking offended)
Louis: Hm? What’s the matter?
Emily: (Angrily) It’s just…..I wish you’d stop saying all these rude things about my brother!
Louis: (Oh, shit! Now I’ve done it!) L–look, Em! I didn’t mean–
Emily: You and Edward always take shots at each other, and I’m sick of it! Look, I’ve known my brother for 189 years! He can be stubborn, pushy, even a bit arrogant sometimes! But do you think you don’t act like that yourself!? You two have a lot more in common than you realize. But you can’t see that because you’re too caught up in your stupid debate over weapons and magic!
Louis: Maybe that’s true, but do you know how aggravating it is to hear him talk shit about weapon users like me or Hiro!? Calling us shit like “uncivilized” or “barbaric!?”
Emily: And you always call him “weak” or “cowardly” because he’s a magic user like me! This narrow-minded behavior you share is why you always end up fighting! My family has existed in Europe for 4,000 years. In all that time, we’ve seen countless wars and conquests waged by people’s greed and distrust of each other. As centuries passed, technology grew, and so did the number of lives taken in such atrocities! Some people in my family began to see as a symbol of people’s greed and desire for destruction! See, that’s why Edward hates weapons so much!
Louis: (Gives a look like he finally understands) Alright, I get where you’re coming from. But he should learn that technology is only a tool. Carrying a sword or a gun does not make someone a psychotic warlord or mass murderer out to destroy people. In fact, having one is an enormous responsibility requiring someone to have the training and discipline not to abuse it. As a Knight, I believe the only time one should draw their weapon is in self-defense or in defense of another.
Emily: Aye, I agree with you! And Edward feels the same way about magic! He uses his magic as a tool to defend himself or others, but only uses it to fight as a last resort. He also believes that one should have the wisdom to find other ways to solve conflicts without violence. And as a medical witch, I use my magic to heal people suffering from wounds, curses or sickness. Anything can be good or bad, depending on how one uses it. Being a magic user does not make you a spineless, pompous blowhard anymore than being a weapon user make you a murderous, trigger-happy madman.
(Pause)
Emily: So, bottom line: Promise me that you’ll end your childish bickering with Edward, and be nicer to him.
Louis: (Sighs) Okay, I promise.
Emily: I need your word. Promise me that you’ll be nicer to him.
(Louis sighs again and draws his sword. He turns the flat end toward his face and stands in a chivalrous way)
Louis: (Solemnly) I, Louis Lafayette LeVainquer, in the name of my father Alphonse, all my ancestors and descendants, and to Almighty God, do pledge with honor and humility as a Knight–lest I die in disgrace and my name lost to the ages–that I from this day forth shall forego my past quarreling with thy brother Edward, and treat him with respect and friendship as if he were my own. I shall cast away all arrogant and foolish behavior, and act as a man with chivalry and dignity. Je vous promets ma parole, Emily Elvis, alors aidez-moi, mon Dieu.
(He puts the sword back)
Louis: There. Satistfied?
Emily: (Smiles) A tad long-winded, but yes!
Louis: Good, ’cause I ain’t doing it again!……..Wait a minute, did you say you’re 189 years old!?
Emily: Aye! And Edward’s 195! Surprised?
Louis: N–not at all! You look great! Let’s just get to the lunchroom already.
Emily: Yeah! I’m starving!
(Emily walks ahead, but Louis stays behind. He grabs his phone out of his pocket. He looks at his contacts and calls the name “Lily”.)
Lily: (On the other line) Hola, Lulu! It’s been so long, my love! How’ve you been?
Louis: Still handsome as ever, mon amour. But how many times do I have to tell you not to call me Lulu?
Lily: That depends, guapo. Are you calling me for a date, or is there a big, shiny treasure begging for me take it?
Louis: Neither, I’m afraid. Actually, I’m calling because I have a job you might be interested.
Lily: Oh, really? Go on.
Louis: How much do you know about Death Battle?
Special thanks to my good friend and mentor Sarge Ray for providing Saber’s bio and helping with banter and research.
