Louis: If you know my history of writing Death Battles, OMMs, and DBXs by now, you know there’s nothing I love more than an ass-kicking woman who knows her way around a gun! And these two ladies are certainly no exception.
Edward: Both have experienced a traumatic and abusive childhood and came out of it stronger in the end. But where they differ is the path they’ve each chosen as adults. One’s a ruthless, trigger-happy pirate; the other’s a strong-willed, disciplined soldier.
Louis: The one thing they share in common: they’re both damn good when it comes to handling firearms. And their names are…
Rebecca “Revy” Lee, the mass-murdering muscle of the Black Lagoon mercenaries.
And her opponent…
Jill Valentine, a heroic soldier of the Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance.
“Je m’appelle Louis LeVainquer, The Blue Knight!”
“And I’m his co-host, Edward Elvis, The Red Mage!”
Edward: And once again, we’ve invited two special guests to provide us with first-hand information of these two contestants. Representing Revy, we have one of her fellow members of the Lagoon Company. Mister Rokuro Okajima, also known as “Rock.”
“Uhh…….hey, everyone. It’s uh…it’s good to be on this show.”
Louis: And in Jill’s corner, we have Captain Chris Redfield, Jill’s longtime partner and fellow BSAA member.
“Thank you. It’s a tremendous honor to be here to represent my partner.”
Louis: Now, when the merciless pirate and the courageous soldier have each other in their gun sights, who will be the first one to pull the trigger?
Edward: There’s only one way to find out, and you all know it: a Death Battle.
Rebecca Lee:
Alias(es): “Revy Two Hands”
Day of Birth: February 1968
Age: Around her mid-20’s.)
Birthplace: New York City, USA
Race/Nationality: Chinese-American
Height: 5’5
Weight: 125 lbs.
Affiliation: The Lagoon Company
Theme Song:
Louis: Whether you know anything about Black Lagoon or not, take one good look at Rebecca Lee and you’ll know right off the bat that she’s someone whose bad side you do not want to get on.
Rock: (Rubbing his forehead) Oooooohhhhhhhhh, Revy, Revy, Revy. Where do I even start with her?
Edward: You can start us in the way all Death Battle Preludes start: by telling us about her origin story.
Rock: Well, I’ll give you as much as I can, but I don’t know that much. Revy doesn’t like to talk much about her early life. Besides, knowing her she’d probably put a bullet through my skull if I did.
Louis: Oh, don’t worry about it! Edward and I remember what happened the last time someone was unhappy with us learning about their backstory, which is why Edward is protecting us behind this magic barrier surrounding the entire building! You’ll be just fine! So please, tell us what you know about Revy.
Rock: (Sighs nervously) Here goes…From what I do know, Revy had a very unpleasant childhood. She grew up in the Chinatown district of New York, where she was raised by an abusive asshole of a father. Revy never told me about her mom or if she had any siblings; I guess she never really had anyone but her dad. The Chinatown cops were no better. They were a bunch of thugs who treated Revy like shit simply for being of Asian descent. One night, Revy’s dad came home drunker and crazier than usual. Revy barely escaped a beating from him–only to be falsely arrested, beaten, and raped by a cop shortly afterwards.
Louis: Oh, my God. It’s Raven’s goddamn backstory all over again.
Edward: (Sighs regretfully) What happened after that?
Rock: Later that night, Revy was taken back to her dad’s house, where–after all the shit she already endured–her dad asked her to get her another drink. At that point, Revy completely snapped–she found a gun and shot her dad to death.
[wonderplugin_video iframe=”https://youtu.be/lAu5hZLSduc” lightbox=0 lightboxsize=1 lightboxwidth=960 lightboxheight=540 autoopen=0 autoopendelay=0 autoclose=0 lightboxtitle=”” lightboxgroup=”” lightboxshownavigation=0 showimage=”” lightboxoptions=”” videowidth=600 videoheight=400 keepaspectratio=1 autoplay=0 loop=0 videocss=”position:relative;display:block;background-color:#000;overflow:hidden;max-width:100%;margin:0 auto;” playbutton=”https://arkhamdeathbattle.com/wp-content/plugins/wonderplugin-video-embed/engine/playvideo-64-64-0.png”%5D
Rock: I don’t know what happened after, but I guess she spent much of her life alone and poor, searching a new home. But I don’t think I need to tell anyone that no one goes through an experience that traumatic without coming out pretty fucked up in the end. I sadly got a glimpse into what goes on in Revy’s head:
(Louis and Edward stare at the screen deeply disturbed)
Rock: (Chuckles slightly) Yeah, I figured you’d react that way. Anyway, as she got older, Revy eventually ended up in Thailand, in a small port town called Roanapur.
Roanapur, as shown on a map.
Rock: Roanapur was a nasty town full of pirates, mafia thugs, and old Vietnam War vets. One certain gang in Roanapur was the Lagoon Company, a small group of mercenaries working for the local Russian Mafia. Revy joined the Lagoon as their weapons expert, and since then she’s become a one-woman terror on the seas. In just a short time, Revy’s slaughtered rival gangs, hired thugs, and even an entire boat full of Neo-Nazis! Her actions alone not only brought in a lot of money for the Lagoon, but also earned them their reputation as the most feared and deadly pirate gang in the South Asian seas. Anyway, that’s about all I can say for Revy in terms of her past.
Louis: (Shudders) Man, I’d hate to be the man who’s foolish enough to piss this chick off.
Edward: Too right. Anyway, Mr. Okajima, I’m sure someone with an…explosive career like Revy’s must have made a ton of accomplishments. Would you care to share some with us?
Rock: Trust me, Revy didn’t get her reputation as a stone-cold killer for nothing.
Feats:
* Constantly survives shootouts and almost never comes out injured.
* Wiped out four enemy PT boats using only a grenade launcher and a submachine gun.
* With Dutch’s help, annihilated an entire boat full of Neo-Nazis.
* Fought on par with Roberta Cisneros:
** (Their gun battle lasted an entire night, culminating in a fistfight that ended in a draw).
* Killed a total of 128 people.
Rock: But of course, that’s not even half of all the crazy shit Revy’s pulled off. I mean, they’ve made two seasons of Black Lagoon for a reason!
Louis: But enough of this boring-ass backstory! Let’s get into the stuff people really care about: the weapons!
Weapons:
Twin Custom Beretta 92FS pistols:
* Italian-produced
* Revy’s weapons of choice
* Nicknamed the “Praiyachat Sword Cutlass Specials”
* Heavily modified
* Semi-Automatic
* Magazine: Thirteen 9mm rounds
* Contain built-in silencers (how on Earth that works is beyond me)
* Maximum firing range: 164 ft (49.99 km)
PM-63 RAK Submachine Gun:
* Polish-produced
* Semi/Fully-Automatic
* Magazine: Up to twenty-five 9x18mm Makarov rounds
* Rate of Fire: 650 rounds per minute
* Used to gun down several armed thugs across four PT boats
APS Underwater Assault Rifle:
* Soviet-produced
* Capable of firing underwater
* Somewhat bulky and takes a while to aim
* Slightly less accurate out of water
* Armor-piercing rounds can penetrate diving gear
* Magazine: 26 rounds (5.66x39mm)
* Rate of Fire: 600 RPM (out of water)
* Maximum range: 100 m (109.63 yd) out of water; (underwater range varies)
* Used to mow down several Neo-Nazis
* Apparently, she REALLY likes this gun
M79 Grenade Launcher:
* American-produced
* Nicknamed the “Bloop Tube”, “Thumper”, or “Wombat Gun”
* Originally used by US troops in the Vietnam War
* Became a favorite amongst pirates for its destructive power
* Magazine: One 40x46mm grenade
* Rate of Fire: 6 RPM
* Maximum range: 400 m (437 yd)
* Revy used this to blast four enemy PT boats out of the water
Rocket-Propelled Grenade 7 (RPG-7):
* Soviet Union-produced
* Do I really need to explain what this does?
* Magazine: One explosive warhead (again, duh!)
* Maximum range: 920 m (1000 yd); (self-detonates in mid-flight)
* Used by Revy to send a “warning shot” to a nearby tanker before capturing it.
Edward: From what you’ve described, I think it’s clear that when it comes to weapons, Revy really does….have it all!
(Lou and Rock facepalm at that awful pun.)
Edward: Huh? “Have it all”? Get it? Because that’s in the song?
Rock: Please……Just stop.
Louis: Ed, I’m the funny one! You just stick to being the uptight nerd!
Edward: (Scoffs) Oh, piss off! That joke was golden!
Louis: We’re wasting time! Rock, is there anything Revy can do besides slaughtering people with those disgusting weapons?
Rock: Well…
Strengths and Abilities:
PHYSICALITY:
* Minor anime physics:
** Able to leap from one fast-moving PT boat to another several feet away
** Dodges bullets effortlessly
* Incredible fighting stamina:
**Fought one-on-one against Roberta for an entire night until both ended up knocked out
**Able to keep fighting despite being stabbed by knives
Edward: Mother of God! They actually allowed those two beat the shite out of each other!?
Rock: Unfortunately, yes. Dear God, I did not enjoy watching that.
Louis: “Unfortunately”!? That was spectacular! It’s like watching a Women’s UFC Fight! “STAY THE FUCK OUTTA THIS!!!”
Edward: Of course you’d enjoy watching that savage display, you bloody neanderthal.
Rock: Let’s just move on, fellas! Please?
Louis: Sure, sure! Does Revy have any other abilities besides the ones just listed above?
Rock: Well…I don’t know if this can be technically called an “ability”. It’s more of a “dark side” that Revy gets into when she gets really into the fight.
Edward: And this state is…?
Rock: Well, Dutch calls it “Whitman Fever”. He named it after Charles Whitman, a US Marine sniper who killed and wounded 47 college students with a rifle. When Revy is particularly angry or really into the fight, she starts acting similarly. She basically becomes a mindless, emotionless killing machine who shoots at everyone indescriminately. Trust me. It’s not something you want to see Revy in.
Whitman Fever:
* The darkest part of Revy’s personality
* Named after Charles Whitman, a US Marine who killed 16 people in Houston, Texas
* Revy gets into this state when she’s particularly angry or deeply into the fight.
* Becomes an emotionless killing machine:
** Loses her trademark smirk and cocky attitude
** Nearly killed an unarmed civilian before Dutch intervened.
Louis: Hell yeah! Take that, you stupid Hitler-loving bastards! Edward, you want some popcorn?
Edward: (Grabs stomach) How could you enjoy that senseless massacre!?
Louis: (Scoffs, laughing) What? Afraid of a little blood, Edward?
Rock: Hey, man? Are you gonna be all right? If you want, we can end my part of the Prel–
Edward: No! No! I’m gonna be fine! (Breaths deeply) Okay. I’m ready. We only have one more section to cover. Does Revy have any weaknesses that could be exploited in this fight?
Rock: Weaknesses? Well, for all her strengths, Revy does have her fair share of flaws, for example…
Weaknesses:
* Never puts on any protective gear.
* Rarely plans ahead and will immediately cross fists with anyone who pisses her off.
* As noted by Eda, Revy has never had any formal education past high school.
* Somewhat gullible:
** Was tricked by a simple “shoelaces untied” trick in her fight against Roberta.
* Prefers to rely on killer instinct rather than strategy.
* Close-quarter skills are little more than brawling with basic punches and kicks.
Rock: Still, with all that said, I don’t see why this battle should be a problem for–(cellphone vibrates) Oh, hold on. I gotta take this. (Opens phone and looks at screen) Oh, no. Why? Why now of all times!? (Answers phone) Hello?
???: ROOOOOOOOOOCK!!! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!? I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR TWO HOURS TO GET THOSE DAMN GROCERIES!!!
Rock: I know. I’m gettin’ them, Revy. It’s just that I’m doing this show with these two guys and they needed my to tell some things about you.
Revy: What!? What do you mean “tell some things” about me!?
Rock: Just basic stuff like your weapons, your strengths, your weaknesses–that sort of thing.
Revy: You didn’t tell ’em anything embarrassing, did you? ‘Cause if you did, I swear to God, I’ll fucking obliterate y–
Rock: No! No! Nothing embarrassing! I promise! I only told ’em what they needed me to say, alright!? Just please don’t blow a fuse over it!
Revy: …….Alright, Rock. Finish up your show and get back here with those groceries I told you to get, or I’ll stick my boot so far up your ass you’ll have to shit through your eyes! You got that!?
Rock: Loud and clear, Rev. See ya. (Shuts off his phone and turns back to the Arkham hosts). Sorry guys. That was Revy. She sent me out this morning to get some “groceries” for her. Unfortunately, she’s really impatient.
Edward: (Sympathetically) You poor, poor man.
Louis: (Laughing uncontrollably) Oh, my God! That’s so pathetic! She’s got you whipped like a mule!
Rock: (Cheeks red) Sh–shut the fuck up! The stuff I’m supposed to get is for our whole team!
Edward: What are the “groceries” you’re supposed to get, anyway?
Rock: (Sighs and takes out list) Let’s see…Fifty cases of American Eagle 9mm ammo for Revy; fourty-two cases of 12-gauge shotgun rounds for Dutch; twenty fucking RPG warheads; a new hard drive for Benny’s computers; and……..(blushes) a few “feminine products” for Revy.
Louis: (Still laughing) “Feminine products!?” You sure she needs them!? ‘Cause it looks to me like Revy’s the man in your house!
Edward: (Snaps his fingers, causing Louis’ mouth to zip up)
Louis: Mmmmph!? MMMMMPH!!! (Glares at Edward angrily)
Rock: (Smiles and starts laughing himself)
Edward: Please forgive my partner’s behavior, Rock. He’s an alright fellow, but he can be a bit immature sometimes.
Rock: (Still chuckling) It’s all right. It’s not the first time Revy’s bossed me around. Well, take care guys! Good luck with your episode! (He gets out of his seat and walks out through the exit.)
Edward: (Snaps his fingers again, undoing the zipper curse) You never learn, do you, Louis?
Louis: (Massages his jaw) Agh…..shut up, Ed.
Edward: (Sighs) Let’s just call in Chris and get to Jill, already.
(“And just like that, the first little piggy met his end. Oink. Oink. Oink.”
–Revy before executing the first Neo-Nazi)
BONUS VIDEO!!!
Ding!
Jill Valentine
Alias(es): The Master of Unlocking
Year of Birth: February 1974
Age: 31 (as of Resident Evil 5)
Birthplace: Classified
Race/Nationality: American (French-Japanese descent)
Height: 166 cm (5 ft 5 in)
Weight: 50.4 kg (111 lb)
Affiliation: US Army (1996); STARS Alpha Team (1996-1998); BSAA (2005)
Theme Song:
(Chris is buzzed in and let through the door. He takes a seat in between Louis and Edward.)
Chris: Okay, okay! So I guess now it’s my turn?
Louis: (Excitedly) Yes, sir! It very much is! (Turns to Chris and shakes his hand) And let me say that it’s an honor and a privilege to meet you in person, Capitain Redfield!
Chris: Thanks, but the honor really mine. Thank you for inviting me to represent Jill.
Louis: But before we get get started on Jill’s backstory, can you please…sign me your autograph?
Edward: (Facepalms) (Oh, God. Such a bloody fanboy.)
Chris: (Stunned slightly) My autograph? Well, no one’s ever asked me that before, but sure. I don’t see why no–what the Hell!? You want me to sign your sword!?
Louis: It’d be a tremendous honor, sir! And my gun afterwards! In fact, can you please sign all of my weapons?
Chris: Uhhhhhhhh….
Edward: (Pushes Louis aside) Please excuse my co-host. He’s a huge military fanatic. As soon as he sees someone in a uniform he starts acting like a crazed fangirl.
Louis: Oh, eat shit, Edward!
Chris: (Laughs) It’s no big deal. I’ll sign one of your weapons after this show. How about that?
Louis: (Sighs) Okay, that’s fair. Anyway, what do you know about your partner’s early life and military career? Before she joined STARS, that is.
Chris: To begin with, I don’t know a whole lot about Jill’s childhood. But what little she told me was pretty heartbreaking. Jill was born to a Japanese mother and a French father. But they got divorced when she was just a little girl. Somehow, Jill’s father Dick got custody of her, so she spent pretty much her entire childhood with her dad.
Edward: (Oh, Lord. Please don’t let this be a repeat of Revy’s backstory.) Don’t tell me–Jill’s father was also an abusive, alcoholic piece of trash?
Chris: Not exactly. He wasn’t an alcoholic–at least as far as I know–but he was quite abusive in a different way. See, Dick Valentine was a professional thief and was even on the FBI’s Most Wanted list.
Louis: (Visibly shocked) You gotta be kidding me! The same woman who joined the Raccoon City Police Department was raised by a criminal!?
Chris: That’s right. Irony’s a bitch, isn’t it? Anyway, Dick raised Jill to essentially be his accomplice. He taught her how to break in and out of buildings, bypass security, and evade traps. She’s gotten so good at it that she could pick locks almost effortlessly. It’s why Barry gave her the nickname, the “Master of Unlocking.”
Louis: Ah, the shitty voice acting of 1996. Good memories.
Edward: Well, that explains the rather awkward nickname and everything. But what happened later on? Something must have happened to Jill’s father at some point.
Chris: Indeed it did. One day, Jill and Dick were arrested after a job gone horribly wrong. Dick was sentenced to 50 years in prison for all of his crimes. At some point, he felt ashamed of himself for the way he raised Jill. Either his time in prison made him see the error of his ways, or he finally decided to be a real father to her. Whatever the case, he and Jill met for the last time during visiting hours. He apologized to Jill for the horrible way he raised her, and told her not to repeat his mistakes. Jill took his advice and decided to live an honorable life.
Edward: (Smiles) I really like that! An inspiring redemption story! So, how did Jill start her new, noble life?
Chris: She started her career in 1996 as part of the US Army Delta Force, where she was heavily trained in hostage rescue and bomb defusal. But instead of staying with the Army, Jill moved to Raccoon City, where she was recruited into the Special Tactics and Rescue Service (aka, STARS). I joined at about the same time after I was discharged from the Air Force. Me and Jill were both assigned to Alpha Team where we first met, and we served together for the next two years.
(Chris x Jill artwork by Anko-sensei.)
Chris: (Blushes, lost in memories) Funny thin–despite all the time Jill and I spent together, I never took the time to realize how…cute she looked back then. She always kept her hair short in a way that I always liked, and she had the most gorgeous blue eyes that–
Edward: Pardon me, Captain Redfield. I understand you and Miss Valentine have a very close relationship, but this is Death Battle. Could you please try to focus on Jill’s backstory and not your…”off-duty affairs” with her? I’m sure there’s plenty of fics like that on DeviantArt alone.
Chris: Right! Right! (Groans) Anyway, I’m sure many people know of the infamous Arklay Mansion case of 1998. After a search-and-rescue mission gone horribly wrong, four STARS members–including Jill and myself–were forced to take refuge inside an abandoned mansion deep in the Arklay Mountains. Little did we know of the nightmarish horrors that lay inside: flesh-eating zombies, giant carnivorous snakes, and other abominations that still haunt us to this day. Shockingly, we learned that the Umbrella Corporation–believed then to be a pharmaceutical company–was responsible for all the horrendous experiments not only at the mansion, but all over the world!
Chris: Long story short, Jill, myself, and two other members Barry and Rebecca escaped that Godforsaken mansion before blowing it and all its monsters to Hell. From that day, Jill and I took a vow to take down Umbrella and protect the world from all sorts of bioterrorism, no matter what.
Edward: I see. Well, I’m afraid I have to stop you right there, since we have at least three more topics to cover. Do you mind if I put the rest of Jill’s backstory in our Feats slot?
Chris: Go right ahead.
Feats
Resident Evil :
* Explored and fought her way though a zombie infested mansion mostly by herself.
* Uncovered Umbrella’s involvement in the experiments, as well as Wesker’s betrayal.
* Defeated the monstrous prototype BOW “Tyrant”.
* Escaped the mansion alongside fellow survivors Chris Redfield, Barry Burton, and Rebecca Chambers
Resident Evil 3/Remake:
* Fought her way though the zombie-infested streets of Raccoon City
* Defeated the upgraded Tyrant, “Nemesis”
* Became one of the few survivors of the Raccoon City Incident (alongside Leon Kennedy, Claire Redfield, Carlos Oliviera, and Sherry Birkin
Umbrella Chronicles:
* With Chris’ support, destroyed Umbrella’s last major research center
* Became co-founder of the Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance.
Resident Evil 5:
* Threw herself and Wesker through a window, saving Chris’ life and nearly losing her own in the process.
* While hypnotized by Wesker, held her own against fellow BSAA agents Chris and Sheva.
* With the aid of Josh Stone, fought her way through hundreds of Majini and escaped Kijuju.
Louis: But who are we kidding? No one plays Resident Evil for the story! (Beat) Okay, not for the story alone. Let’s get to the part people really care about.
Edward: You mean the part only you care about, Louis?
Louis: (Ignores him) Now, Captain Redfield? I’m aware that Resident Evil‘s a franchise known for equipping its players with all sorts of weapons, right?
Chris: Yeah. And what about it?
Edward: However, as Death Battle managers, our job is to make sure the opponents fight on equal ground, meaning we can’t give Jill something that would make her overpowered and end the fight in two seconds. What can we give Jill that would make her an even match against Revy?
Chris: I understand. Well, considering Jill’s a member of the BSAA, which borrows weapons used by NATO, I think your best choice is to equip Jill the the standard BSAA loadout.
Louis: (Tauntingly)You hear that, “Mr. Weapons-Are-For-Uncivilized-Cavemen?” We’re gonna start looking at guns, now!
Edward: (Sighs)Oh, joy. Let’s just get on with it.
Weapons:
Beretta 92FS pistol:
* Italian-produced
* Standard sidearm of the BSAA
* Semi-Automatic
* Magazine: Fifteen 9x19mm rounds
* Maximum Firing Range: 164 ft (49.99 km)
* Chris, Sheva, and Jill have all used this gun in RE5
Heckler & Koch MP5A3:
* German-produced
* Famously used by counter-terrorism groups such as SWAT, the FBI, the SAS, and GIGN
* Semi/Fully Automatic
* Magazine: Thirty 9x19mm rounds
* Rate of Fire: 800RPM
* Can be fitted with a flashlight, a suppressor, a laser pointer, and other attachments
* Jill and Rebecca both use this gun in Mercenaries mode
SIG SG 556 Assault Rifle:
* Swiss-produced
* The most ubiquitous assault rifle in the BSAA. Everyone in the organization has used this gun at least once.
* Semi/Fully-Automatic
* Magazine: Up to thirty 5.56×45mm NATO rounds
* Maximum Firing Range: up to 400m (437yd)
* Rate of Fire: 700RPM
* Can be fitted with an EOTech scope, a grenade launcher, or a bayonet
* For some reason, Sheva uses this rifle in her Fairytale costume
Benelli M3 Super 90:
* Italian-produced
* Fire Modes: Semi-Auto; Pump-Action
* Magazine : Up to seven 12-gauge shells
* Spreads pellets tightly, resulting in greater accuracy and range than most shotguns.
* Extremely hard-hitting at close range
* Chris and Josh have both used this shotgun in Mercenaries (the former in his Safari costume and the latter in his normal BSAA uniform)
Mk 48 Grenades:
* Fictional/Generic grenades
* Commonly seen in Resident Evil
* Typically come in three forms: frag (green); flash (blue); flame (red)
Combat Knife:
* Jill’s only melee weapon
* Used only as a last resort or in extreme circumstances
* Jill prefers short, quick stabbing motions over wide slashing ones
Edward:……..
Louis: (Raises eyebrow) What’s wrong, Ed? No pretentious speech on how “barbaric” and “uncivilized” guns are an how fallen we are as a species for using them?
Edward: At this point, I don’t bloody care anymore. The faster we get through it, the better.
Louis: And finally, he gets it!
Chris: No offense, but the two of you two have some serious issues to work out with each other.
Edward: (Sighs) Can we just move on, please?
Louis: Sure. Alright, Mr. Redfield, we’ve settled what weapons Jill should bring to this fight, but I know that being a soldier means more than just knowing how to use a gun. Not only that, but in most Death Battles both combatants will end up fighting hand-to-hand with few weapons to rely on. What strengths does Jill have in terms of her physicality and fighting skills?
Chris: Trust me. Since we were STARS agents, Jill and I have sparred at least four times a week, and I’ve gotten my ass knocked to the floor enough times to know just how tough a fighter Jill is.
Strength and Abilities:
Physicality:
* Peak physical condition:
** Described as “small and muscular” in her official bio.
** Once caught herself from falling into an abyss and pulled herself up.
** Strong enough to handle using a high-powered Magnum pistol with only one arm.
** Can literally kick a zombie/Majini’s head off with a single kick.
** Lifted the enormous FINGeR Rail Gun in RE3 Remake.
Excellent speed and reflexes:
** Extremely agile and can perform near-acrobatic stunts.
** Is able to flip onto an enemy’s shoulders before snapping their neck.
** Can grapple and disarm gun-wielding enemies in less than a second.
** Dodged attacks from several of BOWs in Resident Evil 3
** Managed to kick Raymond Vester in the head while he had her trapped in a headlock.
Superb marksmanship:
** Landed a perfect headshot from over 200 yards away onboard a moving helicopter.
Fighting Ability:
* Uses her smaller stature to her advantage by focusing on speed and flexibility over power.
* Prefers to fight by using kicks and grapples instead of punches.
* Incorporates a lot of acrobatic moves in her attacks.
* Extremely handy with a knife, though she prefers quick stabbing motions over wide slashing ones.
Other Skills:
* Expert in bomb defusing
* Wonderful piano player
* Inventor of the world-famous “Jill Sandwich”
Louis: Now that’s my kind of woman! Strong, fit, and sexy! Hell, I wouldn’t even mind if Jill jumped onto my shoulders and snapped my neck with her incredible thighs.
Chris: (Annoyed) That’s my partner you’re talking about! I’d be careful about making comments like that, or she might actually do that to you!
Louis: (Sighs apologetically) You’re right. Desole.
Edward: Pervert. Well, at least someone knows how to shut you up, you testosterone-brained idiot.
Chris: Alright, I’ve had enough of this shit. (Turns to Edward) Look, I understand some of the things he does or says can be pretty damn obnoxious. But you’re not helping anything by acting like a stuck-up prick about it.
Edward: (Indignant) I beg your–
Chris: Let me finish! I’ve worked with some people in my career who’ve have acted in ways that I found annoying or unprofessional. Hell, I’m sure some of them have found me annoying, whether they’d admit it or not. But each time, instead of letting our differences alienate us, we decided to come together and work to accomplish our goal as a team. That’s how a team is supposed to work!
(Lou and Edward stay silent in surprise….and a bit of fear.)
Chris: The two of you are partners, but you waste time taking petty shots at each other because you’re too caught up in each other’s differences! Who the Hell cares whether you prefer using magic or weapons? It’s nothing more than a form of attack, and using one or the other doesn’t make you any more brave or more civilized! Aside from that, you guys have serious personal issues you need to work on as well. Louis, learn to think before you speak and show some more respect to others. Ed, stop believing you have the right to judge the world just because you find one thing distasteful. And both of you, get over each other’s differences and learn to act like a pair of Goddamn adults! Understand!?
Louis: (Humbled) Yes, sir. Perfectly clear.
Edward: (Equally humbled) Aye. Duly noted. Let’s just finish this, already.
Chris: Alright. What’s the next section?
Louis: Last one. Weaknesses. Does Jill have any?
Chris: Not a whole lot that I can think of, but a few do come to mind.
Weaknesses:
* Never wears heavy armor:
** Prefers wearing light gear to enhance speed and flexibility
* More experienced against zombies and BOWs than humans.
* Mainly speed-oriented fighter:
** Prefers quick thinking and reflexes over raw strength.
* Prefers working with a team:
** However, is perfectly capable of fighting alone
Chris: But other than that, Jill doesn’t have that many weaknesses to speak of. She’s one lady who doesn’t go down without a fight. So……….that’s the last piece of information you need, right?
Edward: Yes, Captain Redfield! You’re done! You’ve given us all we need to work with for this Battle? But if you have any last comments about your partner to share before we close this off, please tell us.
Chris: Honestly, I don’t know what more I can tell you about Jill than what I already said! For nearly a decade, Jill’s fought some of the most vile, hideous abominations that Umbrella and other bioterrorists created and always won out! I highly doubt that someone like Jill could ever lose to some lowlife pirate.
Louis: Sounds like you have a lot of faith in Ms. Valentine.
Chris: You’re damn right I do! (Beat) But………before I leave, I just wanted to apologize for my outburst earlier, about you two learning to grow up. I realize that it wasn’t my place to–
Edward: (Raises hands) You have nothing to apologize for, sir. What you said about Louis and myself was completely true. We were acting immature and stupid throughout this whole Prelude. Wouldn’t you agree, Lou?
Louis: (Reluctant groan) As much as I hate to admit it, the wizard’s right. The two of us are still relatively new Death Battle hosts, and if we are to keep this job, we need to learn to get over each other’s differences and work together cordially like a proper team.
Edward: But we also need to overcome our personal bad habits that cause friction between us. (Extends hand) So, is it a deal, then?
Louis: …………………….
Edward: (Sternly) Deal?
Louis: Deal. (Shakes Edward’s hand)
Chris: (Laughs silently) Well, at least now you’ve taken your first step.
(“Next time, take the fucking hint!”
Jill’s final words to the Nemesis T-Type before destroying it)
BONUS VIDEO!!!
