Tag: Death Battle

 

Tanner: Secret agents. Spies. Assassins. For centuries, these covert warriors have left an unforgettable presence in both history and fiction for mixing classy charm and charisma with deadly ruthlessness and efficiency.

Hunnigan: And being irresistibly suave and sexy doesn’t hurt either.

Tanner: And the two agents we’ve assigned for this mission: James Bond, the MI6 agent famous for pioneering the spy genre…

Hunnigan: And Leon Scott Kennedy, the zombie-killing badass famous for surviving Raccoon City, saving the President’s daughter, and defeating entire countries of flesh-eating zombies!

I’m Bill Tanner, MI6’s Chief of Staff.

And I’m Ingrid Hunnigan, Leon’s handler at the DSO.

Hunnigan: And it’s our job to analyze these two agents’ weapons, skills, and tactics to find out who would win… a DEATH BATTLE!!!

---

James Bond:
Codename: 007
Age: 52 (as of No Time To Die)
DOB: April 13, 1968
Nationality: United Kingdom
Height: 5’ 10 (1.7m)
Weight: 160lbs. (72kg)
Affiliation: MI6
Theme Music:

Tanner: (Attempting Sean Connery impression) Ahem! His name is Bond. James Bond.

Hunnigan: (Nervous groan) Uh, Tanner, you might want to work on that impression a little bit.

Tanner: Whatever. Anyway… James Bond is a man who needs little introduction—he’s a titan of modern film, literature, and even gaming. Since his grand introduction in the 1953 novel, “Casino Royale”, Bond has made an indelible mark on spy fiction. Bond has been portrayed by six actors, across a franchise lasting twenty-three movies, forty-one novels, and twenty-one video games. His influence is still felt today.

Hunnigan: That influence doesn’t feel quite as good if you were in that garbage that was Die Another Day.

Tanner: This coming from someone who was featured in that bloody catastrophe that was Resident Evil 6?

Hunnigan: I TOLD YOU NEVER TO BRING THAT U–(Sigh). Anyway, the 007 franchise is known for its use of I mean “gadgets”, but in the interest of fairness, we’ll be limiting the type of MI6 hardware Bond will be equipped with to his guns. Any gadgets–will only serve as utilities to aid Bond instead of actual weapons. For the fight itself, he’ll have only his guns, brawn, and wits to rely on. Furthermore, we believe that the best Bond candidate to fight someone like Leon is the modern, gritty, realistic Bond, Daniel Craig. This also means that we’ll only use the canon established by both the novels and the Craig series, including the movies Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace, Skyfall, Spectre, No Time To Die, and all games released during that period.

Tanner: With all that said, let’s discuss how our golden boy came to be. James was orphaned at a young age when both of his parents died in a mountain climbing accident in Switzerland. Alone and traumatized, he lived much of his with his Scottish uncle at Skyfall Lodge. At age seventeen, Bond joined the Britannia Royal Naval College before he was recruited into of MI6. One of James’ first missions was sent to eliminate Dryden, a rogue MI6 agent who was selling secrets to our enemies. Dryden’s death allowed Bond to be promoted to “Double-O” status, giving him the coveted “license to kill”. Thus setting off the events of Casino Royale and the rest of the Daniel Craig series.

Hunnigan: And plenty 007/M and 007/Q fanfics along the way. What? Don’t believe me? Google it!

Tanner: (Stares at her with concern) Anyway…to cap off this rather short backstory, let’s list off agent Bond’s achievements while in “007” status.

FEATS:
* Assassinated the traitorous Section Chief Dryden and his contact.
* Pursued a bomb-maker throughout Madagascar.
* Prevented another bomb-maker from blowing up the Skyfleet S570 prototype airplane in Miami.
* Eliminated two LRA soldiers who were threatening “Le Chiffre” for the loss of their money.
* Pursued and killed Mitchell, a traitorous MI6 agent who was a double agent for Quantum.
* Captured and interrogated Quantum executive Dominic Greene.
* Destroyed a massive chemical weapons facility beneath a dam in Arkhanhelsk.
* Infiltrated a Goldeneye tracking facility in Severnaya, Russia.
* Rampaged through St. Petersburg in a stolen tank while pursuing General Omurov.
* Defended Natalya from Janus troops as she worked to destabilize the Goldeneye.
* Survived being accidentally shot by Moneypenny and falling off a bridge and into a river.
* Defeated hired assassin Patrice in Shanghai, China.
* Alongside M and Kincaide, battled against dozens of henchmen led by Raoul Silva at Skyfall.
* Hijacked a SPECTRE helicopter in mid-air and kicked out the pilots

Tanner: As one can see, 007’s had quite the storied career, in ten-or-so years.

Hunnigan: Things are certainly never boring when he’s around! Anyway, with all that tedious backstory now finally out of the way, let’s take a look at the fun stuff: his Weapons and Strengths!

Tanner: As a 00, Bond is trained to use a wide variety of firearms, but for the sake of this fight, we will only equip him with his most familiar weapons.

WEAPONS:

Walther PPK:
* German-produced
* Semi-automatic
* Magazine: 7 rounds (9mm.)
* Also can be fitted with a silencer
* Safety mechanism set to recognize Bond’s palm print—only he can fire it.
** “Less of a random killing machine, more of a personal statement.”
* Appearance(s): Quantum of Solace; Skyfall
* Considered to be Bond’s most famous gun.

Walther P99:
* German-produced
* Semi-automatic
* Magazine: 16 rounds (9 x 19mm.)
* Can be fitted with a silencer; used in stealth missions
* Appearances: Casino Royale; Quantum of Solace; Goldeneye Wii/Reloaded; Skyfall
* Typically Bond’s other weapon of choice.

HK UMP9:
* German-produced
Fire modes: Semi; Full Auto; 2-3 Round Burst
Magazine: 30 rounds (9 x 19mm); 25 rounds (.45 ACP)
Used famously to incapacitate Mr. White in the final scene of Casino Royale
Appearance: Casino Royale

AKM:
Fire modes: Semi; Full Auto
Magazine: 30 rounds (7.62 x 39)
Descendant of the AK-47
Does moderate damage and has high range and rate of fire.
However, has mediocre accuracy.
Comes fitted with a tactical rail, allowing for any scope to be attached.
Appearance: Goldeneye Wii/Reloaded

SPAS-12:
Fire modes: Semi; Pump-Action
Capacity: 5-8 rounds (12 gauge)
Comes with collapsible stock, which will help against recoil and increase accuracy.
Appearance: Goldeneye Wii/Reloaded

Tanner: Of course, Bond didn’t become a “00” simply by blasting holes in other people.

Hunnigan: Although it did help in the case with Dryden.

Trophy Unlocked: “The Second Is–“

Tanner: I suppose technically, but I’m going somewhere with this. What I mean is, he also relies on his physical endurance and close-quarter fighting ability to keep himself alive.

STRENGTHS:
* Attained peak physical performance due to Royal Navy training.
* Master of Judo, Aikido, Brazilian Jujitsu, Filipino Eskrima, and Krav Maga.
** Won a brutal fight against Dryden’s contact in the beginning of Casino Royale.
* Constantly suffers falls, cuts, gunshots, and torture by Le Chiffre, and still able to carry on.
* Extremely accurate with 9mm pistols, sub-machinguns, assault rifles, and sniper rifles. Can wipe out several men without wasting a shot. Tends to prefer 9mm’s.
* Can disarm a knife-wielding opponent, as seen in Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace.
* Knows all major arteries and veins of the human body and can kill or paralyze opponent by slicing them.
* Known to use environmental hazards and deathtraps to kill his enemies. Killed the hired terrorist in Miami by strapping the bomb to his waist.
* Thinks tactically and knows when to kill or knock out an enemy without being detected.
** Managed to sneak into Dryden’s office in Casino Royale without being detected.
* Can pull off difficult headshots without being seen (with a silenced weapon).

BOND’S MISSIONS:

Hunnigan: Not bad. Clearly, this is one agent you don’t want to tangle with.

Tanner: Indeed. He is without a doubt the finest that MI6 has to offer, which says a lot given our high standards. Still, I’m afraid still got his fair share of weaknesses that can be his detriment in this fight.

WEAKNESSES:
* Tends to defy orders and make careless mistakes.
** Shot the bomb-maker against orders, causing public embarrassment for MI6.
** Hijacked a helicopter  in Mexico City, putting hundreds of civilians at risk.
* Nearly killed by poisoned drink and only saved by Vesper Lynd.
* Left in a wheelchair for several days after surviving Le Chiffre’s torture.
* Accuracy and endurance have slightly diminished due to age and old wounds.

Tanner: All that said, Bond didn’t become a Double-O for nothing. He’s more than earned his position amongst MI6, and he’s had an outstanding (if imperfect) career for over a decade!

Hunnigan: Still, will he prove to stand toe-to-toe against Agent Kennedy? Let’s find out!

BONUS VIDEO:

---

LEON SCOTT KENNEDY
Age: 36 (as of Resident Evil 6)
DOB: 1977 (day and month classified)
Nationality: United States
Height: 5’10 (1.7m)
Weight: 155lb. (70.2kg.)
Affiliation: RPD (formerly); US Gov’t (formerly); DSO (currently)
Theme Song:

Hunnigan: (Rubs herself amourously) Ohhhhhh…Leon.

Tanner: Uhhhh, Miss Hunnigan?

Hunnigan: Oh, yes, Leon! Hold me with those manly arms of yours! You big, sexy—

Tanner: MISS HUNNIGAN! THE SCRIPT!

Hunnigan: (Blushes) Oh, my God! Ahem—yes! The script! We’re discussing—Leon’s backstory!

Tanner: (Facepalms) What on Earth am I gonna do with you?

Hunnigan: (Clears throat) So! Leon Kennedy’s first appearance was in Resident Evil 2 (or the 2019 remake if you’ve played that), during the horrendous Raccoon City Incident, where the sinister  Umbrella Corporation released the deadly T-Virus into the city, turning its entire populace into mindless, flesh-eating zombies.

Tanner: Kind of like that TV show you Yanks like—The Walking Dead?

Hunnigan: Sort of, except with a much hotter male protagonist (Get at me Daryl fans!). Anyway, Leon was just a rookie cop in the Raccoon City Police Department, and it was to be his first day on the job. (Embarrassed) But, he was late for his 

Tanner: Typical of you Yanks. Always showing up late to every war.

Hunnigan: (Annoyed growl) Ironically, sleeping in was what saved Leon’s life. If he had shown up to the police station on time, he would’ve become a zombie like the rest of them! Then, we wouldn’t have a Death Battle, would we?

Tanner: Alright, alright! You’ve made your point! Moving on!

Hunnigan: Anyway, alongside fellow survivors Sherry Birkin and…(Jealously) Claire Redfield (that lucky ginger bitch).

Cleon is OTP.
Fight me, nerds!

Leon escaped the catastrophe of Raccoon City, and before long, gained the interest of the US Government for his skills. Long story short, Leon was—ahem—“encouraged” to join the government as its newest secret agent, so long as he keeps his knowledge of the Raccoon City Incident secret.

Tanner: Not much of a secret if everyone in the bloody planet knows abou—(Hunnigan slaps him.)

Hunnigan: (Gritting teeth) Shut. Up. Anyway, throughout the years since Leon’s enlistment, he’s almost-singlehandedly wiped out hundreds of zombies, BOWs, and bioterrorists without suffering so much as ruining his hair…ooooohhhhh, his perfect majestic hair—Tanner: MISS HUNNIGAN!Hunnigan: Right! Right! Well, before I drag on this backstory too much, allow me to round off Leon’s numerous accomplishments in the field, counting only the main canon games that he’s appeared in.

FEATS
* Graduated from the Raccoon City Police Academy
* Is one of the few Raccoon City residents to avoid the G-Virus:
** Only because he overslept………dumbass. -_-
* Turned out a pretty competent fighter even though it was only his first day as a cop
* Saved fellow survivor Claire Redfield and teamed up with her
* Rescued Sherry Birkin, the daughter of Umbrella scientist William Birkin
* Defeated several enormous BOWs, including the Tyrant T-103 and the mutated William Birkin.
* Fought his way through insane members of the Los Iluminados cult
* Defeated El Gigante, Del Lago, and a mutated Ramon Salazar.
* Defeated former ally Jack Krauser in a one-on-one knife fight
* Destroyed the deranged bioterrorist cult Los Illuminados
* Rescued Ashley Graham, the daughter of the US President
* Trained a squad of SRT agents how to effectively kill zombies
* Helped Claire and agent Angela Miller escape an airport full of BOWs
* Assisted in taking down Curtis Miller, who infected himself with the G-Virus
* Survived being alone in a civil war in the Eastern Slav Republic
* Managed to keep his cover when he was interrogated by ESR soldiers
* Eliminated the “Las Plagas” virus that was used to kill the country’s civilians
* Saved the ESR soldier “Buddy” by shooting his spinal cord:
** This however left Buddy crippled for life.
* Saved fellow agent Helena Harper from a zombified President Adam Benford
* Escaped with agent Helena from the overrun college in Tall Oaks
* Survived against Helena’s mutated sister Debra
* Fought BSAA Captain Chris Redfield to a standstill.
* Destroyed the mutated Derek C. Simmons, the main antagonist of Resident Evil 6.

Tanner: I thought you didn’t want to talk about Resident Evil 6 anymore.

Hunnigan: I don’t, but unfortunately, it’s part of the research. Anyway, Leon didn’t become a US agent based on his divinely good looks and charm . He’s always had a trusty weapon at his side to help him put lead in anyone who dares screws with him!

WEAPONS:

Silver Ghost:
* Semi-Automatic
* Magazine: 15 rounds (9mm.)
* Can be fitted with silencer
* Based on the H&K USP and S&W Sigma.
* Custom model: Five times more likely to pull off a headshot than most handguns.
* Inaccurate and unstable: difficult to use at mid-to-long range.
* Appearance: Resident Evil 4

Wing Shooter/Matilda:
* Semi-Automatic
* Magazine: 18 rounds (9mm)
* Based on the H&K VP70
* Leon occasionally wields two of these.
* Accurate and has large capacity, but somewhat weak.
* Dual-wielding increases power, but reduces accuracy.
* Appearance: Resident Evil 4; Resident Evil 6; RE2 Remake

Steyr TMP:
* Fire Modes: Semi, Full-Auto
* Magazine: 15-30 rounds (9mm)
* Hip-firing results in poor accuracy.
* Can be fitted with foregrip, butt stock, and laser sight for greater accuracy and recoil control.
* Appearance: Resident Evil 4

Benelli Super 90 (“Riot Gun”):
* Fire Modes: Semi; Pump-Action
* Capacity: 3-7 shells (12 gauge)
* Spreads pellets tightly, resulting in greater accuracy and range than most shotguns.
* Appearance: Resident Evil 4

Combat Knife:
* Leon is an expert at knife combat.
* Strictly close-quarters weapon (duh). Typically only used as last-resort weapon.
* Used to defeat Jack Krauser in a one-on-one knife duel.

Hunnigan: Of course, Agent Kennedy wouldn’t be half the amazing, immaculate demigod of a man he is now if he only relied on his weapons. He has many personal attributes that have kept him alive–and still impossibly handsome today.

Tanner: (Groans) Blind fangirlism aside, Leon does have several strengths that qualify him as an agent resulting both from his years in the service and his courage and wit.

Strengths & Abilities:
* Agile enough to avoid laser tripwires and enemy attacks; fast enough to outrun a giant boulder.
* Able to land headshots from almost fifty yards away without missing.
* Consistently thinks his way out of most situations in little time.
* Has survived devastating punches from giant BOWs like the Super Tyrant and the mutated Curtis Miller.
* Can instinctively detect anyone attempting to sneak up on him. Ada Wong admits that he’s “practically a genius”.
* Has defeated Jack Krauser in a knife duel; briefly fought Chris Redfield to a draw.

Expert marksman: 
* Able to land headshots from almost fifty yards away without missing
* Can duel-wield weapons Black Lagoon style
* Can use heavy, explosive weapons just as easily as normal firearms
* Successfully threw his knife into Ramon Salazar’s hand, impaling it

Resourceful: 
* Consistently thinks his way out of most situations in record time.
* Has solved several puzzles and challenges along his adventures

Incredible resilience:
* Has survived devastating punches from giant BOWs like the Super Tyrant and the mutated Curtis Miller.
* Survived being needled by an Iron Maiden zombie (though not without damage)

Keen intelligence and intuition:
* Can instinctively detect anyone attempting to sneak up on him
* Ada Wong admits that he’s “practically a genius”

Capable one-on-one fighter:
* Defeated Jack Krauser in a knife duel
* Briefly fought Chris Redfield to a draw.

Probably Resident Evil’s most shipped male character:
* His harem includes Claire, Ada, Angela, Manuela, Hunnigan, Ashley, and Helena
* Some even pair him with other men like Chris or Wesker

Outstanding in bed:
* DAMMIT, HUNNIGAN!!!

Tanner: “Outstanding in–” (Facepalms) You put in that last part, didn’t you?

Hunnigan: (Smiles mischievously).

Tanner: Well, despite Hunnigan’s…enthusiasm…Mr. Kennedy is not without his shortcomings.

Hunnigan: (Reluctant sigh) Yeah. As absolutely, unbelievably perfect a man Leon is, he still has some very minor, totally insignificant flaws.

Weaknesses:
Usually has at least one partner at his side:
* Not used to handling missions on his own.
Endurance has limits:
* Almost always needs first aid when wounded
Limited experience fighting normal opponents:
* Mostly fought zombies and crazed cultists.
* Occasionally fought living, trained opponents like Krauser, Redfield, or Svetlana.
Human limitations:
* Can be overpowered by larger opponents or killed by bullets.

Tanner: Still, Agent Kennedy’s strengths far outweigh his weaknesses, and he may yet prove to be a match for 007. So, let’s see what happens when the Hero of Raccoon City meets the Star of MI6, eh Ms. Hunnigan?

(Break)

Tanner: Ms. Hunnigan? Oh for God’s–

Hunnigan: (Blushing) Wh-what? What is it, Tann—

Tanner: You weren’t just looking up fanart of yourself and Leon in some perverted setting, were you?

Hunnigan: WHAT!? No! Why would you think—

Tanner: It’s on. Your bloody. Smartphone.

Hunnigan: (Hides her phone behind her back) How dare you! Eavesdropping on a lady’s—Uh…That’s all the time we have for this Prelude! Please tune in next time to see the exciting battle between James Bond and Leon Kennedy! Thank you, gotta go! Bye! (Quickly bolts through the exit).

Tanner: (Long sigh). American women.

BONUS VIDEO!!!

(“Let’s take a break. Because it looks like it’s gonna be a long night.”)